All Comments on 'Beth and Sam Ch. 04'

You don't seem to understand the idea of writing in the first person or else you're just a very sloppy writer. Stuff like this just destroys the story for me: " I put my arms around her and kissed her, firstly on the top of her head and then worked his way down her face, finally reaching her lips." And then again: "I wanted to make her cum as hard as possible, so I ran his tongue up to her clit and licked it for the first time."

Either get an editor or quit writing and wasting our time.

A very good story and I am looking forward to the next chapters.

This story is just to good to let it end now.

This is another story to a great series. It is a series that I can relate too. Keep up the good work and keep these stories cuming. Regards Peter

had to check out your most recent thanks for the fantasy

tom

is this hot ? great story line so erotic

do you stil use yim?

tom

a great story well done jena

Your storytelling is just too clumsy when you switch the POV back and forth along with the awful vocabulary that detracts from the flow.

(??labial lips?? labial means of the lips)

Stick to terms you understand please. There's nothing in this story worth continuing. Your people are cardboard cutouts in this one anyway. Not one of your better efforts.