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"Thanks Valerie," Penny acknowledged, "I'll take the number, but I don't know...putting my hands all over strange people..."
"Look at it this way," Valerie reasoned, "I bet you've put your hands all over guys that you barely knew...for free. At least this way you get paid for it." They both laughed at this analogy and Penny wrote down Mona's number.
A couple days later Penny nonchalantly knocked on 4A and automatically entered, her laptop in her hands. Immediately Sheldon started to protest, "in what galaxy...:"
But Leonard quickly cut him off, "don't even bother; we've been through this before Sheldon. Hi Penny, what can we do for you."
"Can one of you help me, my laptop stopped working," Penny inquired.
Leonard leapt to his feet to take the computer from her, "OK what did you spill on the keyboard?"
Penny looked at him inquisitively, "what makes you think...oh OK...yogurt."
"What else," Leonard prodded.
"Diet Coke," she confessed.
"Here let me have a look at it," he smiled and took the laptop to his desk, "why don't you sit down and have a slice of pizza...there are plates on the coffee table. It's Giacomo's night. Pick anything off you don't like. We, of course, order it the way Sheldon likes: sausage, mushrooms, and light olives. Help yourself."
"Thanks," Penny responded and sat in the chair Leonard had vacated. "Hey Raj, talk to me." Raj immediately recoiled and his mouth hung open; he looked like he was about to cry, so Penny added, "hey Raj, just messin' with you." She grabbed a plate and a slice of pizza and asked no one in particular, "is it just me, or is it all females he can't talk to unless he's been drinking?"
Howard, trying his best to peek down her tank-top, told her, "no it's all attractive women. He can speak just fine to the lady in the cafeteria line and my mother."
"Oh, well then I'm flattered," Penny admitted, "thank you Raj for the implied compliment."
Some kind of sci-fi special effects show was on TV and in a couple minutes Leonard handed her the laptop, declaring, "good as new." When she arose to go, he whispered and handed her a piece of paper, "I've written the new wi-fi password down for you...Sheldon changed it again."
She glanced at the paper, reading: nowififorpenny, and expressed her gratitude, "thank you so much for everything sweetie, how can I ever repay you," and could not resist the overwhelming urge to kiss him on the cheek.
Visibly blushing but grinning from ear to ear, Leonard responded, "you just did."
Returning to 4B with a smile on her face, Penny thought, "he is so sweet...maybe I've been dating the wrong kind of guys all these years." Her mind quickly changing focus, she decided to call Mona and ask her some questions about the massage parlor job.
Although initially reluctant to talk, Mona loosened up considerably when Penny mentioned Valerie, "oh yes Valerie, she was a sweetheart, I was sorry to see her move on." Penny learned that all masseuses, or CMPs (Certified Massage Practitioners) in California must be licensed and have 250 hours of training in a certified massage school. Mona advised her that the way she circumvents "the letter of the law" is that she is a CMT (Certified Massage Therapist) who qualifies as an instructor, and her studio is registered as a training facility. That way all her beginning employees are considered students who are learning in the classroom.
The best news she gave Penny was that there was a large turnover in her business and there were always openings for new employees. She told Penny that she could basically make her own hours because people come in for massages at all hours of the day. They made an appointment for the following day, and Mona told Penny to bring a pair of shorts, some "shower shoes" and a couple t-shirts that she didn't mind getting oily.
Maybe the best thing about Rub Down was that it was only about a twenty minute drive from her apartment. Mona had told Penny there was ample employee parking behind the two-story building. Rub Down was on the first floor below Fantasies, a tattoo and piercing parlor. Penny immediately liked Mona who reminded her of Reba (McEntire); she didn't speak with the southern drawl, but she had the red-coiffed hair and was as perky as a Miss America contestant. Penny had worn a cute yellow sun-dress with four-inch heels that emphasized her long shapely legs, and Mona looked her up and down approvingly. Penny held up a brown paper bag, "I brought the clothes you requested."
"Welcome Penny," Mona greeted her with a handshake, "I assume you are interested in our employment opportunity, or you wouldn't be here. You certainly seem to have the type of body that could generate large tips, and you are gorgeous to boot. As I mentioned on the phone, you would technically be taking classes from me; but in reality after today you would be on your own. Here's the way it works: the client pays us a set fee for your massage services, they pay us a booking fee and pay by the hour. When you walk into the massage room, they are already unclothed and laying on the table covered with a towel...or several towels; we have a few rather hefty clients. We have employees who just do the "prep" work without being masseuses."
"We pay you minimum wage," she continued, "and anything you make as tips, is yours to keep; except for ten per-cent to cover expenses; you know such as laundry, towels, oils and to help pay the "prep" employees. We do expect you to be honest. Some of the girls make an extraordinary amount in tips. What you are willing to do for your tips is your business and your business alone; I don't want to know about it. The official policy of Rub Down is that we offer a relaxing massage...period. If you offer any other services, you alone are responsible for the consequences. One thing to remember is that if a client asks you anything in addition to a massage, always ask if they are law enforcement personnel. If they lie to you then you can not be prosecuted because it would be entrapment. We have several "regulars" who are cops and merely want to relax. Of course you may never offer anything but a massage, that is up to you."
After a quick tour of the facilities, Mona ushered Penny into her office so they could complete the necessary paperwork: W-4 forms, confidentiality agreements, acknowledgement of the regulations and laws, etc. Penny was impressed with the facilities: there were six massage rooms and each one had a small bathroom that the client first used to change, and the masseuse could use if they wanted to change into "special" attire. Mona had admitted that some of the "regulars" always requested their favorite masseuse and sometimes even suggested how they would like them to dress. There was a "costume room" containing many wardrobe articles and accessories; things like the traditional Catholic Schoolgirl outfit, various articles of lingerie, even some faux-leather shorts and tops, and of course several bikinis. Mona suggested that Penny try to accommodate her clients if they requested a certain attire because it would definitely increase her tips.
"Many of our girls use a pseudonym here so that the clients won't know their real name," Mona suggested, "have you ever used another name?"
"Well, you know how you sit around with your girlfriends, having a few drinks, and sometimes you try to think up a porn-star name for yourself," Penny admitted, "I always thought my porn name would be Angelina Lincoln, so just call me Angelina," and she laughed.
"So be it," Mona declared, "so Angelina if you want to change into your shorts, I will have you accompany one of the girls on her next appointment." The main Employee changing area was equipped with lockers and even had a couple showers, which Penny bet was welcome after being covered in oil all day. When she emerged wearing a very brief pair of pink shorts and a plain white t-shirt there was a different girl waiting for her.
She whistled and commented, "you're going to be very popular around here...Angelina... right." Penny had intentionally neglected to wear a bra and her gumdrop nipples protruded prominently through her t-shirt, and her breasts jiggled as she moved.
"Yes," Penny laughed, "my real name is Penny; so nice to meet you..."
"Jade," the girl answered, chuckling, "it's really Lucy, but Jade sounds more exotic, don't you think."
"Oh definitely," Penny agreed and the name seemed to fit her because she was obviously of Asian descent and had long luxurious black hair, and jade-green eyes. She was wearing shorts that could only be called "hot pants" and a tiny crop top that actually revealed some "under boobage."
"I'll introduce you to everyone that is here today later," Jade offered, "but right now I have a regular client waiting, so let's get started. He's a businessman who just wants a straight, relaxing massage, so this will be a good starting point for you."
They entered one of the massage rooms where a middle-aged, slightly overweight man was laying on his stomach, a white towel covering his buttocks. "Hi Frank," Jade greeted him, "this is Angelina. Mona said you wouldn't mind having two pretty girls work on you today."
Smiling as he looked back over his shoulder, Frank replied, "wow, I really hit the jackpot today. I'm pretty tense today so work your magic."
Speaking to Penny, Jade advised her, "as you can see we have a pretty good selection of scented oils. I happen to know Frank likes the vanilla-scented, but you may want to ask your clients if they have a preference. Never skimp on the oil; I always say that if the client is slick enough to go shooting off the table, then it's just the right amount." Penny laughed as they pumped the vanilla-scented lubricant onto their palms, and Jade started to rub it into Frank's left foot. She urged Penny to follow her lead on his right foot and Penny did her best to mirror Jade's technique.
When they finished with Frank and Jade had collected her tips, she assured Penny, "you did good for your first time. Just relax and go with the flow. If the client wants extra attention to a specific area, they will let you know. Many of the male clients just want the back massage, and never even turn over...sometimes they even doze off. That's when you know you did your job of relaxing them. When they turn over and there is a "towel tent" then you know they would like more than a regular massage. I guess Mona told you that how far you're willing to go for a tip, is totally up to you. One piece of advice, always negotiate the tip before you perform the work. If anyone ever stiffs you on the tip...pun intended...just tell Mona and they'll be banned."
Jade introduced Penny to the two other masseuses on duty and the "prep" worker that was there that day and then they double-teamed another man only this one was totally obese, and a housewife who was "stressed out." Jade then went to service another of her regular clients, but required privacy for this one. Penny just let her imagination take over when guessing what was going on behind the closed door. She went to the changing room to clean up and get ready for her other job. She had forgotten her Cheesecake Factory uniform, so she had to stop by her apartment on the way. Her shorts and two t-shirts were thoroughly oil soaked and Mona suggested she just throw them in the complimentary laundry basket, "don't worry Penny, our staff is completely trained when it comes to oil stains and shrinkage. We do laundry every night and will have them ready for you tomorrow. Do you think you're ready to solo?"
Hesitatingly, Penny answered, "I'm still a little nervous, but I'm ready to give it a try. I just don't want to rub anyone the wrong way," and she chuckled.
Mona laughed, "yeah I've never heard that one before. Don't worry, you'll be fine. Just try to treat your customers with respect; even if they really don't earn it. Remember, tips and repeat clients are your priority."
When Penny did finally collapse onto her bed that night, she didn't even have time to dissect her busy day...she drifted off to sleep almost immediately. Sometime during the night she suddenly awoke from a dream where she was giving a massage to her neighbor Leonard, and the setting wasn't the Rub Down, but rather her own bedroom. "Whoa,' she murmured before falling asleep once again.
She was in good spirits when she wakened the next day, partly because she was not scheduled to work anywhere for a full forty hours after her shift at Rub Down was over. Although apprehensive about her day ahead, she hoped she would make some decent tips on her first solo day. Penny had been so impressed at the attire Jade had worn, that she scoured her apartment for similar clothes. Finding some very skimpy shorts that she had not worn in a long time because they had shrunk, Penny tried them on and whistled at her own reflection in the bathroom mirror. Putting them on hurriedly, without panties underneath, Penny's "camel toe" was clearly outlined, and completely sexy.
After ransacking her drawers, she finally found a couple short "crop tops" that barely covered her magnificent breasts. "The twins have always gotten me plenty of free drinks," she thought, "I hope they can entice some big tips."
Mona greeted her at Rub Down and informed her that she had a new client waiting if she felt ready. His name was John, Mona winked, and he was a local businessman who simply felt stressed and wanted to relax. Penny smiled and felt energized at the thought of her first solo effort. She quickly changed into her pink "hooker shorts" and crop top, and then greeted John who was already "prepped" and laying on the table. He seemed pleasant enough when she asked him if he had a preference of scented oil, and he indicated that she should choose. Selecting a vanilla scent, Penny squirted her hands and began the massage with the fingers of John's right hand.
They engaged in small-talk and John volunteered that he was an administrator at Cal Tech where, coincidently, the Four Nerds worked. Penny, of course, did not let on that she was familiar with anyone else associated with the university because the last thing she wanted was for her neighbors to find out where she was working. John made her silently chuckle when he mentioned that sometimes the staff could produce just as many headaches as the students, and she merely replied, "I can imagine." He was in reasonably good shape and Penny had to admit that coming in such close and intimate contact with an attractive man's body was actually quite arousing. It probably would be more so if the actual massage was not such hard work. She was surprised at what a heavy sweat she had worked up, and was grateful when he assured her he didn't want the front of his body massaged. He thanked her with a generous tip and Penny left the room to clean up.
As she was changing her crop-top, Mona approached her with a semi-serious look on her face, "Angelina; I'll try to remember to call you that here in the shop; sometimes there is a disadvantage to being the new girl." Penny scowled as Mona continued, "that disadvantage is that you tend to get a lot of the new clients, and the clients that no one else wants to handle, for one reason or another. Your next client is one of those. He has been here a few times and none of the other girls feels comfortable with him...he's just kind of a perv. As far as we can tell, totally harmless, just kind of creepy. If he does give you any trouble, just walk out and we'll ask him to leave. The good news is that there is such a high employee turnover rate, you won't be the new girl for long."
"OK," Penny replied hesitantly, "I've always been a pretty good people-person, so I'll give it my best.
When she entered the massage room the first thing she saw was the skinniest pair of legs she had ever seen sticking out from under the towel, and when she introduced herself as Angelina, a familiar voice responded, "well Hello Penny...I mean Angelina."
The voice made her shiver, and when she looked up she saw Howard's head turning and looking at her over his shoulder. "Holy crap, what the Hell are you doing here," she demanded. Are you following me?" "How the Hell is it that wherever I go to work, he seems to be there," she thought.
"Relax," Howard tried to calm her, "this is the closest massage parlor to the university and sometimes we sneak away to relax. I didn't know you worked here until I saw you going from room to room when I was in the waiting room. Just a happy coincidence. We come here about once a month. Hey this is the most inexpensive place I can go to get a pretty girl to put her hands on my naked body," he admitted grinning from ear to ear.
"Happy my ass," she thought and then she froze with fear; he had said "we." "You said we," she asked, "does that mean all four of you are here." She really didn't want to hear Sheldon's ridicule, but for some reason she was irrationally panicking about Leonard finding out where she worked. Her concern was inexplicable.
"Raj will be your next customer," Howard laughed, "good luck getting him to converse."
"Are Sheldon and Leonard here," she had to know.
"You've known Sheldon long enough to know that he would never take his clothes off in front of another person, let alone let them touch him," Howard stated.
And then the question she dreaded the answer to, "and how about Leonard," she inquired.
Howard snorted, "ah poor delusional Leonard. We asked him to come but he is under the fantasy that you are destined to be his girlfriend at some point in the future, and that getting a massage from another girl would be somehow cheating on you. What a sap. Is that the most laughable thing you've ever heard or what?"
"OMG, totally ridiculous," Penny forced herself to agree with Howard, but she was secretly thinking, "that is the sweetest and most romantic thing I have ever heard." She breathed a figurative sigh of relief, knowing that Leonard wouldn't find out about her new employment; and she still wasn't quite sure why. Despite the fact that this was "icky" Howard, Penny was determined to treat him like she imagined she should any pervert and asked if he had a preference of oil fragrance.
He replied smoothly, "let's try the vanilla scent, I understand it is an aphrodisiac."
"Leave it to Howard to make even the oil choice seem sleazy," Penny thought, and responded, "OK then."
"By the way Penny," Howard suggested, "the last time I was here, my masseuse offered the topless-massage for an extra $100 and I was wondering if that offer was still on the table."
"Oh crap," Penny thought, "leave it to Howard to recognize my weakness. I guess it's no secret that I wouldn't be here if I didn't need the money. What the Hell, by the time I'm through my top is so soaked that it's completely see-through anyway."
"OK Howard, but if you try to cheat me on the tip, there are people here who will break your arm," she lied, and quickly drew the tiny crop-top off over her head and threw it onto the counter.
Penny's magnificent breasts flopped down when they cleared the shirt and Howard's mouth hung open like a panting dog as he stared over his shoulder, "holy shit Penny; your breasts are perfect. It's a good thing Leonard isn't here or he would have an asthma attack."
"Alright Howard, let's begin; I started the clock when I came in the room," she told him.
It didn't take long to coat him in oil, and Penny just tried to pretend he was a stranger. She even asked him, "Howard I've seen how you eat, how do you stay so skinny? If I even look at a Twinkie display next to a cash register, I have to do yoga for an extra hour."
"Oh it's just my metabolism," he informed her proudly, "I think I could eat all day and not gain a gram."
She was about to ask him if he wanted his front massaged, when he reflexively turned over, revealing the dreaded "towel-tent." Trying to ignore the obvious and to keep the towel in place, Penny proceeded to administer a nice, relaxing massage; thoroughly covering Howard's arms, shoulders, chest and legs. Just as she thought she was going to avoid the awkward questions, Howard slyly asked, "I understand there is a more advanced massage: something called a manual-release available."
