All Comments on 'Bike Ride Ch. 03'

Friends having fun, this is the way it should be. Well told tale that makes the mouth water and my pussy wet. Thanks. Xoxoxoxoxo Annette

They are definitely not in love or even in lust, just 4 people fucking up 2 marriages.

If they like it...Does Bill's friend know he uses his wife as a whore for him and some friends? And he is good with all that? Doesn't he respect his own wife? 2*

U mention u dont write explicit sex scenes-uh, this whole story was one long ass sex scene! Which gets boring after a while btw

....you sure got explicit. I think, the scenes were interesting at first and became less, so as they progressed. You can only escalate so far, then there needs to be a distraction. One wonders why these people remain married. They share almost nothing but a house....seem to have little or no attraction to one another and seem fairly intolerant of each other. But, as I said, it's a big world.

Now, minor technical detail, but these both affect the quality of your presentation.

So it isn't much, but too frequent misuse of the word "to" and "too" can really begin to annoy. This one error is more prefers to on Literotica than any board I visit...and quickly becoming a pet peeve. I don't get it. It's too easy to get right. I'd suggest you get their meaning and use clear in your own mind before writing again.

Is her name Darla or Deb? The review and editing process needs to include checks for consistent names and labels.

When doing narration, most of th presentation is done in the past tense. Too many times to count, you changed from past to present tense, often in the same paragraph...then, in a couple of cases, back again. Again, not a life changer, but a clear and distinct difference between the polished work coming from some authors, versus the not so much from others. It's all in the editorial process. I would suggest you do several passes, each with specific things in mind. It can only help. And if you still find it to be an issue, you might get one of the volunteer editors to help. Often, fresh eyes can cure a myriad of ills.

Thank you for your story and courage to contribute.

First, this story never got over a 3 and second why are these people married. No love, no respect just dogs fucking in a ally. Sad sick little piece of shit story.

Swinging sucks. Again, why marry?

No likeable people not likeable story.

Great story