Bishop's Red Light Romp Ch. 01

"Ladies please, if you'll follow me this way," the tall woman said politely in an accent Annette guessed was German.

Annette and Felicia found themselves taken through a side door to the club's dressing room. There the two shimmied out of their club wear and soon found themselves standing in nothing but their jewelry and heels as they finished their Champagne, (giggling about what might come next). Kirsten stowed their belongings in a locker for safe keeping and then handed them a plush pair of spotless white robes.

She then had them follow her out back out the door and into the club. The house lights went low and dark as the trio approached the stage quickly. Kirsten held the silver curtains open for the ladies; giving them a hand up onto the plush platform inside before stepping up through the curtains herself and closing them behind her. The house lights came up and the people not already seated began to amble to the pink couches with drinks in hand.

Not three minutes later, Kirsten emerged from the stage through the curtains and was immediately hit by the white glare of a spotlight as a jazz fanfare heralded the opening of the first act. She seized up a microphone and addressed the audience.

"Ladies and gentlemen," her voice boomed through the club, "welcome to the Vinyl Tuxedo. For tonight's first performance, I wish to give you, the lovely Annette and Felicia in a little number we call... THE STRAIGHTJACKET!"

There was a clatter of applause in the crowd as spotlight moved to the stage and the silver curtain rose to the ceiling. It was now readily apparent as to the origins of the Vinyl Tuxedo's moniker.

In the middle of the now rotating stage lay two trussed up forms; those of Annette and Felicia. They were in red straightjackets of shiny rubber; facing away from one-another, heads down and bare asses up, (and looking delightfully helpless and vulnerable)!

Next to them on the stage lay a large bowl of fruits and vegetables. It was apparent the word 'Tuxedo' was a euphemism for straight jacket and one could easily guess to what purpose the bowl of produce served. As the jazz band began to play a brassy cabaret style number, Kirsten picked up a rather elongated cucumber from the bowl and proceeded to remove all doubts with...

"Ladies and Gentlemen, damen und herren, one and all; I have before you an ordinary cucumber. Please observe as I transform this mere garden delicacy into an instrument of mutual pleasure!"

With that she produced a small paring knife. Her hands flew into action, peeling at the foot and a half long gherkin and removing its skin in short order while the crowd looked on. She then made precision cuts and whittlings at both the ends so that after a few moments time the shape of the veggie was transformed. Satisfied with her handiwork, Kirsten held it aloft for the audience to see; it was now a peeled pickle with expertly crafted penile heads at both ends ... a garden variety double-ended dildo!

Kirsten mounted the stage and with a bit of exaggerated showmanship, placed herself behind Annette's upturned ass with both hands; parting the cheeks as if she were inspecting an item at a farmer's market. She knelt forward and ran her tongue up and down the trussed up woman's twat blossom, her top hat moving from side to side as she gobbled.

It was clear to all those nothing was being simulated here; it was all quite "real deal" as Kirsten went to work with lips and tongue, high on the slowly turning stage. The rude ringmistress burrowed around like a friendly termite; even coming up to tongue-bugger Annette's vulnerable bottom-hole while shooting the crowd an over-the-top winkie-wink, (punctuated by a drum-shot from the orchestra off stage for a touch of perverse burlesque).

Annette squirmed her hips at this with delight, (and very much in her element). She loved being helpless, she loved a lady's touch, and most importantly of all; she simply loved being the focus of attention. With around fifty sets of eyes watching her from every conceivable direction; that last itch had been scratched for her in spades!

Ringmistress Kirsten now moved with more exaggerated panache to Felicia's upturned bottom. She repeated what she'd done earlier, and just as in the case of Annette the pretty Spaniard's bum bounced and wriggled with each wicked tongue tickle. The audience watched and blinked in rapt attention until Kirsten again popped up her head like a top hatted jack-in-the- box; licking her lips and winking at the crowd (as a drum-shot sounded).

With a strength and dexterity Annette and Felicia had not counted on, Kirsten now picked up and adjusted the two restrained women as if she were moving garden furniture; adjusting the pair until both upturned bottoms were facing one another. Snatching up the cucumber, she fed one green cock-head end into Annette's sex hole before doing the very same with the other end in Felicia's pretty pink poke-pit. Now both women were linked together like two latex wrapped railroad cars by foot-long pickle.

Grabbing both upturned bottoms, Kirsten brought both asses together on the rude little veggie; producing noticeable gasps from the two helpless ladies as the gherkin stretched their insides ever so nicely. She then pulled both asses apart ever so slowly; allowing a bit of saliva to run off her tongue and onto the precise places where cuke met puss. She looked up to the crowd and shouted with a note of lewd mischief,

"I will now do my best imitation of AN ACCORDIAN!"

At that she brought the two delightful ass-valentines to one another; pulling them apart a second later and pushing back together again in a lovely rump to rump smash. She repeated the action over and over as an accordion in the house band played a swaying donkey HEE-HAW HEE-HAW HEE-HAW series of notes. The action produced a score of giggles from the delighted audience and a set of sighs from Annette and Felicia. Once again Kirsten hammed it up and winked to the crowd.

Reaching into the bowl of produce, Kirsten pushed aside the fruits and greenery, seizing up a tube of flavored lubricant. She then snatched up two sets of pink anal beads attached to large plastic pull rings. Again she shot the crowd her now signature punchline wink.

"Ah" she hollered to the crowd of onlookers, "it would appear we have two holes here that are most lonely!"

Running a tongue lewdly across her lips, she tickled the two upturned anal puckers with her fingertips; sending both bottoms squirming from naughty delight at the sensation. Both bum-holes soon found themselves occupied by a greased female finger that twisted and corkscrewed ever so gently. The sensation set the clits of both bound women to pulsing with excitement; both with hearts filled with anticipation (as well as rectums filled with Germanic fingers).

For her part, Annette was reveling at the reality of being dirt-chute drilled by the Deutshe dom's digging digit as the eyes of total strangers scrutinized the event over sips of drinks. Felicia enjoyed herself as well; however, she was most grateful for the fact that Kirsten obviously had a decent manicurist. Such grooming considerations being matter of safety as well as aesthetics given the activity and it was clear Kirsten was no novice at such diversions.

A few seconds later and Annette and Felicia felt new sensations as the fingers left their bottom puckers, only to be replaced by lubed up rubber beads on a chord; first one, then another... then another, (apparently all going to congregate in the same place it seemed). At about eight beads it was rather snug up inside things for the two women. At twelve, Felicia decided she knew how a full gumball machine felt.

Well, Annette thought to herself with a wicked grin, if those beads (much like the people of Amsterdam), liked to gather together in cozy intimate places... there was none more intimate and cozy a place than her lovely bum. She made a habit of keeping it open late for that very reason!

She giggled a little snort at her own joke. She wasn't laughing for long however; (neither was Felicia for that matter). As a greasy sixteenth bead found its way into the rather cramped accommodations deep up inside the two ladies, the snare in the darkened orchestra pit played a drum roll. Kirsten raised her voice up to the crowd.

"Ladies and gentlemen," she shouted over the drummer's din, " I give you my next imitation. I call it, THE TWIN CHAINSAWS!"

For a moment Annette and Felicia didn't register what had just been said. Between the snugness and the hot filthy humiliation of the act their minds were a blank. Both women wondered what Kirsten could have meant by TWIN CHAI...?

A split second later both got their answer, as an immense pull yanked through their insides with amazing swiftness and force. Where a moment before there had just been a mass of plastic slimy spheres and chord, there was now only void and pain mixed with searing hot pleasure. Both clits throbbed at the intestinal release so intense and overwhelming that both mouths fell open wide (and the manner of a Saskatchewan McCullough roaring to life in an evergreen forest of virgin timber), as two women involuntarily sang a chainsaw duet of,

"WHHHHAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! HAAAAAAAHHHH AAGGGHHHHHHH"

Kirsten spread her arms like an eagle in triumph; two nasty beaded strings dangling from equally nasty fingers. The crowd erupted in a crashing of applause that sounded a bit like hard rain. Shouts and hoots rang out in the club. It was all truly remarkable and impressive. The ringmistress bowed awash in the glory of it all; as by sound of things she'd managed to start two beautiful heart-shaped chainsaws on the first pull of the chord! This was just the beginning of things; far more 'sawing' and noisemaking lay ahead for the two trussed up beauties as they thrashed back and forth against the cucumber plying their pussy-pits.

"Ladies and Gentleman," Kirsten shouted over the din of applause, "I think now these two backsides are stretched and oiled adequately..."

She dropped the pink beads and reached to the produce bowl once more; seizing up the paring knife and a zucchini of nearly half a meter's length. Her hands again flew into action. Trimming the ends of the oblong squash into a pair of rounded penile ends, she in no time at all achieved the shape she was whittling for. She held her art project aloft; a circumcised double headed veggie that would be the envy of any Mexican donkey show!

Annette and Felicia felt their rear-ends pushed apart once more by the ringmistress, only to have those very same upturned rectums subjected to a great poking snugness, as Kirsten without ceremony fed each end of the zucchini into their greased-up tailpipes. The German ringmistress mugged for the crowd as the band led by a muted trumpet player ran up and down blistering scales of increasing complexity and improvisation. Placing both of her hands on Annette and Felicia's lovely heart shaped keisters she shouted to the crowd with,

"Ladies and Gentlemen, for your entertainment now I have in mind a little magic trick. I shall now make both the pickle and the zucchini ... DISAPPEAR!"

With that she slowly pushed both delectable derrieres together. The Zucchini at first bowed upward slightly; taking on a bit of a distorted-upside-down horseshoe shape, but Kirsten had counted on this and placed one palm above the wayward bit of produce. She applied gentle pressure until the slightly willful vegetable found its way deep into the innards of the two women. Again the ringmistress pushed slowly at the two lovely bums until both came together in lovely bit of bumper car style buggery.

She'd done it! Kirsten held her top hat up high for the crowd in triumph; the audience responding with giggles and applause as Annette and Felicia responded with noticeable gasps. She'd made both the pickle and squash execute a "vexing veggie vanishing act" of the simply loveliest kind and the band played broke into a colossal brassy fanfare!

Both Annette and Felicia found themselves equally impressed. The fact that they'd not touched their salads at the Argentinean steakhouse earlier was compensated however in a bit of irony (as it seemed the salad was now touching them); in fact, they'd managed to completely swallow these double-headed bits of phallic greenery whole at both ends.

"See ladies," Kirsten said seizing up the microphone, "salads can be quite filling if done properly, and I am so happy to see you've 'all-gone' with your vegetables!"

Her dead-pan joke brought howls of laughter from the crowd, (and even nervous chuckles from the helpless Annette and Felicia). Kirsten again pushed the two trussed up trollops apart and brought them together over and over as the accordion in the orchestra pit played a series of see-saw notes; producing more chuckles from the audience and more gasps from the two female performers below her. She now had the crowd eating out of her hands, (although soon she'd have them eating out of something else entirely).

She pushed the two asses part one more time and reached down to seize the fouled zucchini dead center between the pair of stretched poopers. Her face became a crude sneer as she bit her lip. The crowd sucked in its breath in anticipation of something dramatic.

"But I think it is high time," Kirsten's voice rang out over the microphone, "that we put a little meat on the menu, yes? But first I need to clear the dishes."

With that, she gave the zucchini a good hard pull, (as though she were lifting up an oversized and over stuffed piece of luggage). Both ends of the zuke left the two upturned dung-holes with a noticeable FlLLLLFRRRRRRPPPPHHH! Annette and Felicia simultaneously felt the combined sensations of void and humiliation and wailed enthusiastically as their ears were met with gasps and applause from the crowd.

The ringmistress tossed the nasty veggie clear of the stage and clapped her hands loudly. She scanned the room. All eyes were on hers at the moment. She had the crowd, had them fast.

"I need a volunteer from the audience," she called out of the microphone.

She was met by an enthusiastic forest of hands. Of course for the opening portion of this next part of the show she needed a ringer, someone from the club. She saw her boss Ami and pretending to look elsewhere her eyes eventually settled on her short brunette employer.

"Yes you'll do," she announced.

The spunky little pixie brunette bounced up to the stage, removing her jacket and tossing it to the side. She then removed her latex miniskirt with the pop of a snap on one side - revealing a black thong panty atop her cute fishnet garters. Up top she sported only a black pushup bra that quickly came down to reveal a pair of 34's, (c-cups by the looks of things).

From Annette's vantage point thought she noticed something terribly familiar regarding those tits and bum she'd seen at the bar bef... no. It couldn't be, plus she was on the other side of the channel and this chick was a brunette. It didn't matter, Kirsten had her 'volunteer,' even if it was painfully obvious this first selection was highly 'canned and scripted.'

Annette and Felicia now felt themselves toppled-over onto their sides by Ami the manager, the cucumber snapping in two as they toppled. Both helpless women were briskly rolled onto their backs, their legs apart with the broken ends of the giant pickle protruding from their cunt-holes. Their asses were aligned resting arsecheek to arsecheek as the audience looked on with keen interest.

Before both restrained women completely understood what was happening their faces were mounted; Annette by Kirsten and Felicia by the spunky sassy Ami. As Kirsten pulled her thong to one side and settled onto Annette's muzzle, our heroine understood now completely what had been meant by 'meat being on the menu.' She was half right it seemed.

#

Seated in the audience an American couple in their fifties craned their heads slightly and watched as Kirsten and Ami squirmed their hips and sighed atop the faces of Annette and Felecia respectively on the rotating stage. The pair were dressed in the typical tourist uniform that identifies people from America and sets them apart from anyone else on the planet; cargo pants, hiking sandals, university t-shirts, and fanny packs, (plus a back-pack under their table). It could also be said that nurse Nancy Gardner and her fun loving hubby (we shall call him Mr. Sir for the purposes of this story), were enjoying the view immensely.

And ohhhh, what a view it was! Kirsten and Ami made slightly exaggerated expressions of selfish contentment as they continued to swirl and swish their hips atop faces of their two hapless prisoners. In the orchestra pit, the band picked up the pace by braking into a funky burlesque polka that sounded more appropriate for a Jewish wedding reception than a sex show.

As an accordion and a clarinet ran up and down deliriously happy scales, Kirsten and Ami each lifted their respective mount's ankles, as if each was holding bizarre handlebars to a jet-ski. Kirsten raised Annette's legs up high, forcing Annette's rear with its cucumber plugged pussy off the padded stage and rocking back in the process. As she did Ami leaned forward slightly and dove her head down to snatch a bite from Annette's bit of cucumber. The band punctuated the action with a snare drum shot and a cymbal crash as Ami chewed bits of pussy soaked pickle and winked to the crowd.

The action was repeated; only with Ami raising Felicia's hindquarters high and with Kirsten ducking low to chomp a bit of snatch-scented cucumber from Felicia's cunt. Another wink to the crowd from the munching ringmistress Kirsten was met with yet another drum shot and cymbal crash. The audience giggled and tittered at the vaudevillian humour as the same rocking and reciprocating pickle-eating gobblefest continued; again and again until both Ami and Kirsten had finished their "cucumber and snatch" sandwiches. Applause and hooting broke out as Kirsten; still seated atop Annette's busy lips raised the microphone and addressed the audience.

"Ladies, and gentlemen. It seems we still have a rather full fruit bowl up here; I also notice there are two rather empty cunts before myself and my lovely assistant. Might we have more volunteers to come down to the stage and sample the buffet?"

#

Her words were met with a veritable forest of raised hands. Quickest to shoot her eager little hand up was Nancy Gardner. She'd been most impressed by the performance and she was just simply dying to join in the fun. They had fun swing clubs back in Phoenix Arizona but nothing as debauched and wild as this, (and she and her hubby were people of "experience" if you take my meaning).

Her enthusiasm paid off, for out of the many hands thrust up to volunteer; hers and that of a tall blonde Dutchman were selected to approach the stage and be part of the show. Once upon the stage the Dutch gentleman was ushered down between Felicia's legs and Nancy found her head parked between Annette's parted thighs, as Ami and Kirsten (still mounted astride the faces of the captive Annette and Felicia), groped about in the bowl for some loose bits of fruit.

Annette and Felicia both craned their heads for a moment out from under the crotches of their riders. They watched as Kirsten seized up a fistful of black grapes and Ami secured a jar of candied cherries from the bottom of the fruit bowl. Again hands went into the bowl plucking out strawberries, dates, and dried apricots. Shortly thereafter, both Felicia and Annette found their cunt-holes being loaded-up, one round fruity nugget at a time; a candied cherry here, a plump black grape there...until they found themselves jammed with a rainbow assortment of juicy goodies, like a pair of kinky Christmas fruitcakes.