Bless This Broken Road

"Thank you for loving me."

"You make it easy. Besides I'm so lucky to have such a beautiful and sexy artist painting my life."

I saw her eyes dart away from mine.

"Jordan," I said softly but with enough intensity that she looked at me again. "You are beautiful. You are an incredible work of art... a masterpiece."

"Maybe a Picasso," she snorted. "Brad I know what I look like, what my body looks like. I can see the scars. I know how ugly they are and what they make me look like."

"Dammit, you stop right there," I growled.

I could see the surprise and fear in her face. I had never spoken to her that way before.

"If I heard some guy say that about you, what do you think I'd do?"

Her face softened as she relaxed. A spark flashed in her eyes as a tiny smile formed.

"I'd probably be talking to the police, explaining why you hit the guy."

"Exactly and what if it had been some woman who would've said that?"

This time she actually giggled.

"Well, I doubt you would've hit her ... but I can imagine some of the ugly, cruel things you might've said. Sugah, I know—"

"So why would you think I'd be okay," I said interrupting her, "hearing you put down my wife. She's the woman I forsook all other women for. The one I love with everything I have. Why would you ever think I'd put up with that shit?"

She looked at me as if I'd slapped her.

"Oh baby, I'm so sorry!"

"Jordan," I said softly, "you are a masterpiece. I just wish I could make you understand, to have you see yourself through my eyes."

I thought for a few moments, sat up and propped myself up on a pillow.

"Let me try to explain it like this," I said smiling at her. "Suppose you had the Mona Lisa hanging in your studio—"

"I'd probably be arrested for art theft!" she laughed.

I couldn't help smile. I loved her laugh. "Alright, bear with me. I'm trying to make a point, okay?"

She sat up and grinned, trying to look submissive. "Okay Master Yoda, I'll be good."

I stared at my naked wife sitting cross-legged on our bed. As I slowly scanned her up and down, I found it impossible to remember what I was going to say next. When I had settled on her face, it was obvious from her impish smile she knew exactly the effect she was having on me.

"Yoda huh?" I snorted, regathering my thoughts. "Well we'll have to see how well you handle the force a little later, young Jedi."

"Promise?" she giggled.

"Oh yeah," I sighed. "Now what was I saying?"

"Something about the Mona Lisa," she replied grinning.

"Oh yeah. Not that I think she's all that beautiful but she's definitely considered a masterpiece, agreed?"

Jordan nodded.

"Alright now let's say some idiot somehow breaks in and takes a knife to it."

I listened to my wife gasp as her hands flew to her mouth.

Gawd, I loved these artistic types. They're so creative and have such vivid imaginations that they can actually visualize certain scenarios.

"With a few swift slashes he's changed the painting forever. Afterwards a ton of money is spent trying to repair it. When they're done, it's been restored as close as possible to its original state. Remarkably, they've done an outstanding job. However, there are still noticeable lines where the knife had cut the canvass.

"Now ... is the painting as beautiful as it was before? No, but many will still consider it beautiful. Now the real question, is it still considered a masterpiece?

"The answer is ... of course. The bastard's blade didn't change the skill Leonardo de Vinci showed with each brushstroke. It didn't remove the smile portrayed in the painting or the importance of that painting to the art world.

"It would still draw countless visitors , each one marveling at the painting as a whole. The fact it had been wronged would probably endear it even more to its current admirers. The publicity of how it had been mistreated would gather even more attention and draw a new wave of admirers."

I peered intently at my wife praying she would hear and believe my next words.

"My beautiful, scarred wife ... you are that masterpiece."

She embraced me so hard I could barely breathe. She buried head into my chest and I gently stroked her hair as she clung to me. I could barely make out her repeated 'thank you' through her sobs.

As I held her, I hoped and wondered if she would let the words sink this time. I knew her self-confidence was getting better after being destroyed by her past. She was getting stronger every day and the woman she was becoming was even more spectacular than the one with which I had initially fallen in love.

I thought of the fears I'd had before we'd gotten married. I hadn't known how she would react when things got hard. Mainly I didn't know if she would run away. We were both so weak back then. I didn't know how I'd ever be able to give her the love she both needed and deserved because I was still so damaged myself. Thankfully, those questions were now distant memories having already been answered.

My greatest fear was what would happen if our pasts came back to haunt us. Those fears became a reality just a couple of years after we got married. We ended up facing both of those ghosts within a few months of each other.

****

I knew immediately something was wrong when I came home to find my pregnant wife sobbing. She told me she'd gotten a call from Stan. He had been released early and was back in town. She said she'd told him she was remarried and pregnant but he still wanted to see her.

I told her I'd be happy to take care of it but if she needed to meet with him for closure, I was okay with that as long as I was there with her. Apparently it was the right answer since she crawled up onto my lap, draped her arms around me and smothered me with kisses. Jordan said that part of her life was over and she never wanted to be reminded of it again. I knew that wouldn't be the end of it ... it wasn't.

Stan decided to visit Jordan one evening while I was working late. He came into our home and they had heated words. In the end he grabbed her arm hard enough to bruise her. We reported it but it was a he said, she said, even with the bruise and his past. Sometimes the law is just so damn inept it isn't even funny.

The police warned him to stay away from Jordan. We got a restraining order against him but that wasn't good enough for me.

It took several weeks but I was finally able to pull everything together. First I hired a PI to find out a little bit about Stan's recent stay in prison, namely who he played house with and how they felt about him getting out. After that I just needed to cash in a few personal favors.

There's a wide variety of individuals who work on construction sites. Fortunately, I know many who are of ... questionable character. It wasn't difficult to arrange a little welcome back party for my wife's abusive ex-husband.

From there it was a waiting game until Stan could be talked to without witnesses and at the same time I would have a good alibi. It took a couple weeks but one night Stan was mugged outside a bar.

The police of course questioned me but my alibi was solid. I'd planned on Stan being roughed up a bit and then threatened to stay away from Jordan. They were supposed to let him know evidence would be planted to make sure he broke parole and go back to prison. Unfortunately, one of the guys took what he'd done to Jordan personal. He ended up whipping Stan and beat him bad enough to put him in the hospital.

Even with all that, Stan didn't leave town until a week later. I guess finding a bag of weed in the front seat of his truck let him know he'd soon be going back to being Big Mo's favorite bitch. We never heard from him again.

Were my actions a little extreme? Probably but the son-of-a-bitch came into my home and threatened my wife and our unborn baby. He's lucky I didn't put a bullet in his head and dump his body in some unmarked grave!

I ended up coming face-to-face with my past several months after the Stan episode. It wasn't as extreme but was just as uncomfortable.

It started when I learned that for one of our restoration projects my group would be teamed with another group from our Dallas office. Not surprisingly, Tim was a part of that group.

I expressed my concern with my boss. His response was 'to be a professional and get over it.' With a newborn son at home, I figured I liked my job and the paycheck that came with it so I did just that.

Tim and I worked side-by-side for a week before he approached me.

"Hey Brad, got a minute?'

"Yeah, what do you need? Is something wrong with the load bearing wall in the kitchen?"

"No it's fine. Look Brad. I just wanted to talk to you ..." he said uncomfortably. "You think maybe I could buy you a beer after work?"

"I don't drink anymore. Recovering alcoholic ... remember?"

"Shit! Yeah, that's right," he groaned. "Sorry man, I just wasn't thinking. Listen, I just wanted a chance to tell you how sorry Anna and I are."

"Look Tim, apology accepted. I got a wife and kid now, there's no need to rehash the past."

"I know, I know," Tim said shaking his head, "it's just well..."

I could see he was struggling to say something.

"Just spit it out."

"Anna is coming down this weekend," he said hesitating. "She wanted me to ask you and Jordan out for dinner, our treat."

I could see his look of discomfort as he easily read the anger on my face.

"Tim, we aren't friends and never will be again. The thought of exposing my wife to the two of you actually makes me sick."

Tim hung his head and sighed.

"I understand but I had to ask."

"Why?"

"Well, because what happened back then really shook my marriage. Britney cheating on you, Anna helping her and me keeping quiet, all of us lying to you, there was plenty of guilt to spread around. This weekend was hopefully a chance to face up to what we did and apologize. It wouldn't make everything better but at least it would be a beginning."

I studied him closely. We'd been friends back in Dallas and I could tell there was something more.

"And?"

He looked away from me and sighed deeply. His body sagged slightly as if preparing to receive a coup de grace.

"Britney is coming with her."

I was speechless and just glared at him.

"Brad," he said softly. "All they want to do is apologize. Just think about it and give me your answer tomorrow. I know if it were me I'd tell us all to go to hell, but you're not me. So I'm asking you to think about it before you shoot it down."

I knew my answer was not just no but hell no. But I also knew I would need to talk to Jordan. I had told her I would stand by her if she needed to confront that asshole of an ex-husband of hers, so I needed to give her the chance to offer to do the same.

She shocked me when she suggested we should accept. I told her I really didn't need to do this but she said she'd felt such a release after Stan left town that she wanted me to have that same resolution. I said I would do just about anything for my wife, even things I didn't like. She felt this was important so I allowed it to happen.

I told Tim we'd do it but with a couple conditions. First there wouldn't be dinner but we'd meet for beignets at a little outdoor cafe off Jackson Square. The second condition was that Tim had to put in a request to go back to Dallas immediately. After that weekend I never wanted to see any of them again. He reluctantly agreed.

Jordan decided to make a night out of it so we planned to go to one of our favorite little seafood places near where we would meet the others later that night. It was business casual attire but she wanted to dress up a bit. When she came out of our bedroom I found it hard to breathe. She wore her little black dress but hadn't dressed it up with any expensive accessories. Still she looked good ... real good.

At first I thought maybe she was trying to make a statement to my former friends and ex-wife. However, then I realized it was going to be the first time we had officially been out to dinner since our son was born.

Motherhood had done wonders for Jordan. My timid, meek wife had become a momma bear when it came to Brandon and that forced confidence was slowly bleeding into other areas of her life.

The last month she had hovered over her new born baby like a hawk. I'd had to beg and threaten her just to get her out of the house the few times I could. I'm sure she was more than a little stir crazy after a month of being at home guarding the nest.

I realized it was going to be an even more interesting evening when Jordan pulled out her black, four-inch stiletto pumps. Looking at me she could barely contain her grin as she raised her eyebrows at me.

"What do you think..." she cooed seductively, "stud?"

You need to remember both Jordan and I are both six foot tall, okay she is a quarter inch taller. It's a little something she enjoys pointing out to me whenever she can. We both know she looks a little like a newborn giraffe in those things, but she dearly loves to wear them so she can look down on me and gloat.

I love the sound of her laughter so it never bothers me despite how I pretend to act. It's all for my bride's enjoyment anyway. Of course the fact that it makes it convenient to reach under her dress and stroke her inner thighs while we're out in public doesn't hurt either! Of course I felt obligated to do that any time I caught her smirking down at me which turned out to be, often. Her response to my teasing was also predictable.

I can't tell you the number of times we've had to cut an evening out short and race back to our home or hotel. Several times we'd barely made it to my truck before we were tearing each other's clothes off. Don't laugh, a few blankets and pillows in the back bed of a truck, a starry night and a remote area, and the night can definitely become very memorable!

She smiled at me and chose a shorter pair of black pumps. She'd decided she'd wanted to go dancing after our meeting if we felt like it and the FMP's weren't suited to that.

We ended up having one of her close friends at work watch Brandon that night. I think Jordan called home every fifteen minutes. Her constant need to check on our son was actually a blessing in disguise. The humor of watching my lovely bride fidget and dance in her seat helped lessen the tension building as the time grew closer to our meeting.

When we entered the cafe, several heads turned our way. Jordan could certainly pull off the long, cool woman in a black dress look. I had to laugh to myself and smile. My wife's self-confidence was definitely getting stronger and I was beginning to realize how just her presence made me a better man. Having her beside me brought out more and more of my better qualities.

We found our table quickly and I introduced Jordan to everyone as we were seated. I noticed immediately that the past five years hadn't been kind to Anna nor Britney. While Anna had definitely put on extra weight, Britney looked like she'd lost too much.

We spent the next several minutes dancing around the elephant in the room as the women complimented Jordan on her appearance and oohed and aahed over pictures of Brandon. The table resembled a group of friends getting reacquainted after several lost years. It was making my stomach turn.

I waited until the waitress had taken our dessert orders before I began. "Alright, let's get this started," I said coldly. "Say what y'all need to say. What do you want, Britney?"

"Honestly?"

"No lie to me. You know how much I just fucking love that!" I snarled.

Both Britney and Anna jumped back in their seats at my vehemence. Tim shook his head slowly.

"I told you both but neither one of you would listen," he said calmly.

Britney recovered first. "Well, I know I more than deserved that," she said as she took a deep breath and settled herself.

"Okay Brad," she continued, "the truth. The truth is before I found out last week that you were remarried. I'd originally planned to come down here to New Orleans, oh excuse me, Nawlins, to see if you still had any feelings for me. I knew we wouldn't just fall into each other's arms, not after what I'd done, but I'd hope there would be some flicker of love that had somehow survived."

"Not likely," I snorted. "Any good feelings I had towards you were washed away when I heard you were pregnant with the asshole's kid. What did you do? Leave it with Derek, while you went out looking for your next victim? And by the way, it's pronounced New Awlins down here."

"You really don't know do you?" she said ignoring my language lesson. "Tim said you'd cut all communication with him but I would've thought someone in our circle of friends would've let you know."

"Circle of friends?" I spat. "They sure as hell weren't my friends! In case you don't remember, that entire circle of assholes covered for you, especially that bitch sitting next to you."

I saw the color drain from Anna's face as my words stung. She reached over and gripped Tim's hand.

"Then they all had the balls to tell me I was their friend but they didn't want to get between us. Sure didn't stop them from welcoming the asshole Prendergast now did it? Hell I was replaced before I even knew I was voted off the island!

"I had no one, Britney. My aunt and uncle were isolated, still living on their west Texas ranch. I'd lost all my friends, including my supposed best friend, and the woman who I'd hoped to spend the rest of my life with. The same wife who threw me away for another guy and ended up giving him what I'd begged her for, a family.

"I was already so miserable that I was a drunk before our divorce was final. Then, I sank lower hearing you and Derek were getting married so soon after our divorce and then the cherry on top. Surprise, Brit is pregnant!

"That little piece of news put me over the edge. It got so bad I almost lost my job. Want to guess who finally came to my rescue? My company! They sent me to rehab and then transferred me down here to give me a new start.

"How funny is that? My company was more loyal to me than those who claimed to be my friends or those who said they loved me."

By this time all three women at the table had tears in their eyes but only one of them was holding my hand. She was the only one of them I would ever let get near me again.

"I'm so sorry Brad," Britney said quietly as she wiped the tears from her face. "I knew I'd hurt you but I never knew ... I'm sorry. I know it's not enough but it's all I've got."

It was then our poor waitress brought our desserts. Her face looked as if she stepped in dogshit! I'm sure she looked at our table which consisted of three crying women, one uncomfortable male and another obviously angry male, and she just wanted to run away.

Tim called her over, handed her some money and whispered something to her that made her visibly relax. Within seconds she'd left our beignets and a fresh pot of coffee on the table and had disappeared.

"Brad," Britney said gathering herself. "If you were hoping we all paid for what we did to you, well ... you got your wish. Karma really is a bitch. I doubt since you don't talk to us anymore that you didn't know about the fallout from that party. Karen ended up divorcing Jeff—"

"You can't blame that on me," I said loudly. "If he couldn't keep it in his pants, she should've divorced his ass."

"Well," Britney continued, "he couldn't and she did. She also began accusing most of us of sleeping with him. Between all that drama, the embarrassment of Derek's and my affair and Anna and Tim's situation those monthly parties were cancelled."

"Tim and Anna's situation?" I asked knowing immediately I had taken the bait and been drawn into the conversation.