All Comments on 'Blood Moon Ch. 03'

Good, and not to be repetitive, but you do need an editor if you can get one, or at least try to be as critical as you can when you read it over yourself (which I know is difficult). You wrote "exceptable" where you meant "acceptable" and towards the end, Dominic wondered "if why she was sick". Little things but they detract. But it's a good story with good characters so keep at it.

I agree with the other comment. It would be wise to get an editor. But really, other than that, i thought the story is going very well. I am realy enjoying it.

I really like your style of writing. This story is excellent; absolutely love the characters and plot development. I can't wait for the next installment and check for it everday. This time of the yPlease moreear is better with this serie!

I just love this story. I want more, more, more. I just love it. I can't wait to read the rest. I will be checking every night for an update. Keep up the great writing.TT

A good start. I have enjoyed it so far and will look forward to reading more. It would be good, as others have said, to find someone to edit as there are quite a few errors.

Next chapter please!!! I'm loving this story.

Though you have some grammatical errors, I still love this story. I only wish you'd post longer chapters, and, as others have said, perhaps try to get an editor or have someone proofread your story. I can't wait to read more about Dominic and Syra!

but i have to agree you need someone who could read your stories over before you publish just for those little kinks in spelling and grammar. I like the story line so far and the chemistry you are building between the two of them are great and I can't wait for the next installment and see when will Dominic crack under the pressure of their attraction.

brill but it was too short,i need more.thanks for sharing your story

I love this story so far its just that they need to be a little longer. The characters are good and the storyline is good.

But you frequently misuse words and have long, awkward sentences. Finding an editor would improve your work immensely. Also, I am having issues with the setting of your story. What is the importance of having the plot set so far in the future? This is almost 1000 years from now, yet there doesn't seem to be any significant difference between now and the story setting. There are several other inconsistencies or things not explained to my satisfaction - why is Syra the only character whose scent gives away her emotions? Why does everyone seem to be afraid of her or dislike her? Can't vampires tell the difference between those that are "made" and those that are "born?" These are just some things to think about before you continue writing.

I have to agree with what this reader has commented on in this feedback.

There is more that can skyrocket this story from "good" to "awesome"

Adding more details that may seem insignificant or integral and just in your mind into print can help the reader immensely. Having more descriptors and information will allow us to immerse ourselves in the world and plot you're trying to share with us all. Grammatical errors are like mini speed bumps that you can rush over but they still hinder the movement.

Overall you've got great ingredients for a fabulous recipe. Good luck and keep on going! :)

Story piqued my interest and I shall keep up with this.

I really agree with the others. First, I really wish the mistakes could be corrected. There are a few words that are used improperly or some that another word should have been used. I had to stop reading a few times to see what the intended word was....the last person said it perfectly...it is like a speed bump. It affects the flow of the story. It detracts from it. So, have someone go over it before you submit it. I'd happily assist if you need someone to help you.

I also agree about there being some details missing...maybe they will be revealed later...hopefully that is the case. I think that it is a good beginning and I am definitely wanting to read on.

I think Dominic seems like a bit of a jerk at the moment. I hope you will explain why he is so judgemental toward "made vampires." It is not as if she had a choice in the matter. Does he know how she became a vamp? Why does he feel this way about them?

He really blew her off when they kissed and I feel badly for her. He acts like she has a disease. I think it was necessary to explain about her being in heat. Why would a vamp go into heat, etc? I hope it will be explained. That is where the last comment was right...there may be aspects like this that are clear in your head that may need to be made clear to the reader.

Overall, has me wanting more!

please fix the spelling and sentence structure if you can't find an editor here on the site just get some one else to read the story before you upload it

It's too bad about the grammar and spelling as they really detract from the overall effect.