All Comments on 'Blood Moon Ch. 05'

this is a great story, but you need to find a proof reader or editor to help you find the right words. i will give you a example of what i mean.

"Is this expectable to you?" Lucian asked.

It should read like this.

"is this acceptable to you?" Lucian asked.

It is distracting from the story the mistake of words that should be used or needed.

i will be happy to help if you would like. But i think you need to read your work out loud to yourself. That does help.

my email is lilwolfspirit2167@yahoo.com

Nice reveal on Dominic's past. Not sure about Syra's plan, but curious to see how it plays out.

PLEASE!!!! don't make us wait to long for the next chapter. PLEASE!!!! im begging you; im dying to read their plan and see how it turns out!!!! omg, PLEASE!!!! hurry with the next chapter. I BEG YOU!!!! lol it's SOOOOOO GOOODD!!!

I love this story so far. I can't wait to see how Dominic reacts to their little plan lol.

I like the plot of the story, but some grammatical mistakes make me want to scream!

And also I personally didn't like it when Syra said that there was going to be an orgy after the 'ball' - I think that it should be referred to as something else (i.e. a ritual of some sort). But that's just my opinion.

Otherwise it is well written and I look forward to reading more.

Please take lilwolfspirit's offer to help. The grammatical errors are taking away from the great plot of the story.

<p>One thing though, as another reader pointed out, I really didn't like that reference to "an orgy" after the ball. I mean, Dominic was all jealous and such in the previous chapter about Syra turning to another man and yet they have an "orgy" ritual. Why not just have it as a ball and then Syra and Lucian plan mischief to make Dominic jealous?</p>

<p>Just seems weird to me that Lucian wants Syra to be his sister in law yet he and Syra are okay with having sex with each other in front of Dominic.</p>

<p>I'm really hoping you change that part in the next chapter. But seriously, I'm loving this story! Just needs a few tweaks here and there.</p>

I like the story concept and think it is a great story, but the spelling and usage of wrong words is really distracting. It totally takes away from the story.

I am glad we got some explanation as to why Dominic feels like he does! He is cruel though. God, it was 200 years ago....sorry it hurt but get the heck over it. And if you can't don't let her hurt like that. Tell her you can't get over it. I don't think he's worth her going to the trouble. I'd try to win Lucian who has been kind enough to be there for her....that's just me.

Anyhow, I also Loved the last line about a bigger plot...left me wanting to know what it could be.

I am finding the mistakes exceedingly distracted and it is a shame to have it take away from a good story. Still hope it will be corrected and if that can't be done that the author will get someone to correct future stories.

Who is this Lillith? Is she a threat? I'd also like to know if there is anything like a true mate in this world the author created. Why does she feel so strongly about him?