All Comments on 'Blood Moon Ch. 07'

I've enjoyed reading this series, even with the grammar errors and all. But there's something lacking. The chapters are definitely too short, there's no build up to things. For example, on this last chapter, suddenly Tonya bursts into Dominic's room and a fight ensues between her and Syra.

<p>That's pretty much my only complaint about reading this series, that things seem a bit rushed. I believe most of the chapters could have been about 2-3 pages each had there been some sort of anticipation building. But, this IS a wonderful story that I truly enjoyed reading.</p>

I loved it! Loved it! Loved it!!! Brava!!!

it would have been passable but the repeated grammatical and spelling mistakes really got to me. it's acceptable, not exceptable! please!

a lot of potential for this to take off. If you were to review your work and edit this, the story would expand and mature. However, the same can be said if you wish to continue on with the series and use this story as a stepping stone in that regard.

I have to agree that this felt rushed and harried. Perhaps the story no longer had life and its spark but I did however enjoy some of the dialogue you pushed through. One part that got me was Syra being "taught" by Dominic...she was a "created vampire" therefore if she was considered a vagrant to society why would one of a princely nature, who was taught to be above such species, take the time and efforts to "teach" her? Much more can be explored with the mating scent, if this was common among vampire mated pairs, why wasn't the rest of the men in the SEA privy to that knowledge. I can understand Syra not know but the rest? Also, it would have been beneficial to add more to Syra's past and build upon her layers giving her more depth and it would make her transformation from "Ice Princess" to "Confident Vampire Extraordinaire" easier on the reader.

I hope you continue to write and I look forward to your growth. Thank you so much for sharing.

The story started off talking about training with the SEA but you never elaborate on what that is. Then suddenly a Council arrives and it is a love story, if that is what you want to call it. I think the story had great potential but the whole thing seemed rushed. Also the grammatical errors were a bit distracting. One part that sticks with me is Dominic had his hands down her pants, then suddenly he is fucking her. What happened to the pants? I think for your next stories, please find an editor. If not read and reread them ALOT. I am a self editor and mistakes are going to slip through, you just have to try and keep them to a minimum. Also take your time, give your characters more background and depth. Good luck on future projects.

I enjoyed the story but agree that it needs to be developed. Illuminaria- the other supernaturals weren't necessarily vamps so that is why they didn't know about the scent thing...though they may have known because they joked about who would make her smell of honey. So, I they knew it was arousal that caused it. What I don't understand is that if he knew she was smelling like Honey when she was aroused by him more than once than why didn't he know she recognized him as her mate. Or is it not something that has to be returned?

But I agree with all that you said about the different parts that should have been expanded upon. I agree that there is a great start here. I think she has a great framework to build on. I think that the group she worked on was totally. It was never explained what roll they play in this new society. More could be explained in general about this new world they lived in where supernaturals were recognized and had beat the humans to a degree. More could have been explained about her background and the other "made vamps" who seem to be looked down upon.

What roll does this vampire gov't play in the lives of all vamps in the world. I find it interesting that the woman doesn't have to agree to accept the mate that asks for her...sexist bunch those vamps are! And what about demons being able to claim a female vamp too? There are these and other things that should be developed and that would make this good story riveting. I think there are lots of great ideas here that would make an amazing story that could be a novella or novel even.

I see that she did decide to tell Lucian's story and I really hope that these things and others will be explored in it. Good luck with future projects!

Ok I will add my two cents worth here. First his ex was her name Lillith or Tonya it seemed to have change some where along the way. Second if he knew that her scent was because their kind release their scents when they are aroused by their mate why was he so confused when he scented her in earlier chapters.Third I was also confused about where her pants went as one of the other comments said. The story in itself was very enjoyable.

Besides a lot of grammatical errors and yes some story mix up.I do love this story wish the chapters were longer maybe a bit more detailed, but in and of itself the story line is wonderful..

Great Great Chapter I am glad she had to prove her strength it puts a new spin on how she will be treated in the royal house.

Confused Lillth was the mate that was human and was turned by him and killed by the council for going ape shit with blood lust. Tonya was the vampiress that he was kissing when they first reached the hall and dancing with at the dance. They are two different people.

Best chapter so far I loved the bit where she beats the crap out of the older vamp it was fantastic loved it but maybe more length to your story great ideas here don't shorten it :D

When you wrote in your comment .....Confused Lillth was the mate that was human and was turned by him and killed by the council for going ape shit with blood lust. Tonya was the vampiress that he was kissing when they first reached the hall and dancing with at the dance. They are two different people.

THAT is not what is written it was Lucian that mention thought about the scene that had made her run .....Quote..He had seen Dominic pull Lillith to him just before Syra had walked in and it angered him that his brother could be such a fool.

THAT is what has us confused as in the last chapter she is called Tonya his first mate was never named! So they are NOT two different people.

The teriible grammer, akward phrases and sentences, the plethora of words that don't mean what the auther thought and the internal incosistancies in the story made this the worst I ever read.

I so love this story and wish to see you finish it......

Cute little story. You keep writing and have someone edit it for you.