All Comments on 'Blood Moon: Lucian's Story Ch. 05'

I've been waiting for this instalment for ages but I have to say I'm really disappointed. It seems like a half hearted attempt to placate the people who didn't like the direction the story was taking. People make mistakes even really bad ones and its often from those mistakes they learn and grow. Lucian could have learnt and grown and kiryn along with him.

Now I get it that makes so much more sense now nice work Mechmanas

you thank your editor in your profile but if this is a story that has been edited then you need to find someone else. I really want to enjoy this story & series but your grammar & sentence structure are bad. Maybe take a class & find a different editor

Interesting plot twist. I get bored with stories where the protagonist(s)

are boring perfect people. Plots like Kurosawa wrote (7 Samurai or Ran- movies)

where the protagonist makes some really serious moral mistakes but

manages to redeem their honor are much more interesting. This one just got

interesting! Very nice work on the plot and character development. Could use a bit of work on the editing- the grammar is pretty good but the

number of spelling errors (homonyms especially) are distracting. Spell check

programs just don't catch the latter.

I am confused. What is going on?

I was so upset with the last chapter that I just could not think of how this story could move on. Someone mentioned what the characters could have learned about themselves and one another. What would the victim learn from her abuse..., what could Lucien learn when he caused the abuse? This chapter is interesting because it shows us a fact of life that we tend to forget. We see things that we want to see and feel uncomfortable with our own vulnerability. ALSO..., Someone sees something in you that they want to exploit..., even when you don't feel you are anything special or even before you recognize the person you can become. I think some readers may have wanted this story to become some dark disturbing moment, but as dark and disturbing as violence can be..., it is more disturbing to acknowledge that someone may try to manipulate you for their personal gain with no regards to the human being that exists. I am still saddened and shocked but not by the story itself but by the truth that exists around it. We are a society of many differences but predators are all the same. You are a wonderful writer and thru your work you force readers to think. Thank you for sharing. If you felt attacked by any of my comments, I apologize because I reacted emotionally to a partial picture. I await the entire story. AND you know the king has feelings for Kiryn..., what is he going to do when he realizes she is his brothers soul mate... OHHHH CAN'T WAIT!!! AND WHO HAS 29 SIBLINGS..., MY GOODNESS THE WAIT FOR THE BATHROOM MUST BE SOMETHING...

Making Lucian possessed by an evil being is a nice touch! Good Save for all the Lucian fans! Love this chapter well done can't wait for her to kick some evil ass! Bring it on and I think Lucians regular squeeze is also part of the evil ones plot and Kiryn will also kick her butt!

Top story ruined by simple errors.

You still had a near virgin gang raped by the guards of the very castle where she is now to live. What is she supposed to do now? Trust them with her life, I suppose (irony intended). You wrote this as a part of a series that is essentially a romance at heart. This story simply does not fit into that category any longer. Erotic horror may have been more appropriate than nonhuman, in this instance.

Some authors can admit when they have made an error in direction and go back and fix things. Obviously, you're not one of them. This chapter, while an interesting turn of events, has been so done in other works that it is hardly impressive. "It wasn't me. The evil possessed me."

This story may have seemed interesting if you had allowed the host to continue to do evil, with no one being the wiser, while allowing the reader an omniscient viewpoint. Then Lucian could have been hideously punished before they discovered their error. You may have began a civil war within the kingdom using this premise. You could have even made Lucian truly evil. However, you took the cop out and so I guess readers will just have to deal with this rather plebeian effort at redemption or stop reading altogether. Personally, I am opting for the latter. Pity.

You had me surprised there with the possession thing. I sure hope things get better. Hehe I hope your next story will be about Malachi. I really like the guy.

Love it.

I usually like your writing but you lost me in the last chapter and this chapter was just about stupid. I hope the next chapters are better. I agree with the other comment about her living with the guards that raped her no way in hell. I think you just need to get rid of the the last two chapters and start the hell over.

I refrained from commenting on chapter 4, although it sickened me, just to see where you would go next...truly enjoyed Blood Moon was so willing to give you the benefit of the doubt. But I agree that this chapter is a cop out. Unbelievable that she would just bounce back from something so horrific. Ridiculous that Lucian would suddenly be possessed. And that's just from a plotline persepctive. The writing itself has lost your usual flow and flair. If you're not up for it for whatever reason, please take some time to yourself; we will wait for you to return. Hopefully, with a new chapter 4 and 5; do-overs are allowed in writing!

while i agree the last two chapters are not what people want from the series,ITS YOUR STORY. i am sure that the pain lucien is going to fell is not going to be short lived, because while others may forgive him, i think he will be harder on himself than any of the others could be. and when she wins the battle(and she has to, even if she does not kill the creature) she will not trust any off the clan for a long time and they will all need to regain her trust(syra excluded though) and i thought of something about some of the other posts bitch bitch bitch is all some people do, if you do not like it, do not read itm or write something of your own. PS could the chapter s be a little bit longer please

Thank God! I couldn't believe what happened. I was freakin shocked at what I thought Lucian had done...a guy who was so protective etc. WOW! Great turn in the story! Again, it shows your talent as a writer in terms of your creativity. I hope that you will go into more detail about who Darthax is and why he is after her/her people...don't rush this. Develop all that you bring to us and explore it in the next chapter. It is a great story. Read the comments by illunaria throughout Blood Moon...maybe something I said might help. You have an amazing story...I can't wait to see where it goes.

When Darthax reveals himself it's confusing. It says that Lucian let the mask fall that he'd held for centuries...and asked how they couldn't notice the sickness and him falling over the edge... SO has Lucian been himself up till Darthax claimed his mind or was something else going on? PLEASE clarify this!

Why did Lucian even look/act like he cared when Syra brought it to their attention that she was innocent? That confused me. Why would Darthax act like he cared? Why did Syra or anybody check on her--they weren't ordered to stay away. Did he have anything to do with the humans attacking? Was he working with the vamp who had given them the blood? Are there other gifts she gained when she got her fangs that will help her against Darthax? When did Darthax take Lucian over? Was it he who told the guards to do to her as they wished...was that Darthax moments after Lucian made love to her? Who is Darthax/what is he...why has he tried to take the vamps down all this time? what does he want her for?

Also, please let someone correct it...the mistakes do distract the reader and take something away from it. I would be happy to read it over so feel free to contact me if that would be a help.

I can't wait to see more! thanks for writing this.

The last chapter's events were shocking and seemed unnecessary. This chapter seems to be a quick cover up for that mistake. As in "Lucien wasn't really acting out of character. He's possessed. The demon made him do it". It seems very contrived and unrealistic to me. Why weren't there any hints of him being possessed before? No clues, no foreshadowing. It seems like a reaction to our dislike of last chapter. It's a shame. I really enjoyed the first few chapters but you are going waaaaaaaay off track.

Wow that was a good twist!!! I was sure Lita had something to do with what was going on!!!!! Im soooo glad it wasn't really Lucian that did that because I really hated him for a moment there!!!! Next chapter please and hurry!!!!!

If Kiryn has the ability to take on Darthax, why did she allow them to so brutally assault her? The whole bit about Lucien being possessed is confusing. You could have had Malachai come to her rescue and become her true love.

I love your stories so much I had to read through them one after the other until I got caught up. I think you are doing a wonderful job. I agree with the person who said it is your story and tell it how you want to. No one is forcing anyone to read it if they do not like it. I see no reason for people to bash others in comments. And constructive criticism to the extent it is given on here should be better sent in a private comment to authors. I for one can not wait until you write more of this as I am dying to know how it ends.

thanks, Kate - aka - mikothebaby@yahoo.com

This chapter is retarded! If she has enough strength and power to fight that evil man that has possessed lucian why would she allow herself to be gang raped and beaten. No woman in their mind would allow that to happen if they had the power to stop it.

She can fight and tear down doors with her strength,but she cant break out of a simple jail cell,and aviod being raped and beaten????Im not sure where your going with this,but i am getting totally confused.