All Comments on 'Bobby's Ring Ch. 01'

If I may offer a suggestion, elongate your chapters, but keep their number to a minimum - 3, or 4 is plenty. Anything more than that will lose the interest of your audience.

Cant wait to see where Bobby and his Ring go from here and will he Find himself wanting to keep the Ring instead of returning it?

Not bad, though hardly original. The writing could use some improvement but is acceptable. Except for that first sentence. You should really consider rewriting it; break it into at least two sentences. It's the first look your readers get of your story and as it stands now, it isn't very attractive.

Nice