Book 03: A Match Made - Ch. 01

Kara and I began to spend more and more time together. The relationship deepened. The love blossomed even further.

And then it all came crashing to the ground.

You know the story, so I won't belabor the point.

I thought I might lose her forever. Rehab was a necessity. To save her life. To save us, quite possibly. At first, after she was released, it took us a while to gather ourselves and regain some footing. When it came together, it did so very quickly. So much so that we agreed to sell our respective residences and buy a condo for us to live in - as a couple.

Marriage had been talked about. We agreed to let things take their course as Kara got healthy. So it was always there, always lurking, if you will.

Quite suddenly and very shockingly, a child came into our lives. It was a gigantic adjustment for Kara. I'll be honest. I wasn't too happy about it. Now? Mick is a joy, an unexpected blessing. I'll get to that in detail in the pages to come.

And I was making love to my wife.

Where was Mick this weekend? He was with my son and his family. Mick is about the same age as my grandson, Dylan. They got along very well after an adjustment period, little boys being little boys and all that. Andi and J.R. had no problem with us leaving Mick while we went out of town for the holiday. It was good for Mick to be with a male who was close to his age. We were grateful they understood.

Now, about that ravaging!!

******************

We'd switched; Kara riding me, our hips moving together, our finger busy with each other's nipples.

"Fuck me. Make me whimper; make me scream." Yes miss!!

We rocked together. I felt the change in her body as it marched toward its destruction. There was a sheen of perspiration on both of us, even as the air conditioning hummed unobtrusively. The room was small enough and we didn't care for it to be a refrigerator. I knew it wouldn't be long. Kara knows just how and what she needs to be brought to climax. I was a participant, but I let her direct the show.

She moaned, froze, and let loose a scream. She was leaning back, her hands on the bed behind her. I kept my hips going, keeping the dildo deep inside her, moving slowly in and out. Blondie was somewhere else. O-World. I know it well. It consumes you. It's the best thing there is in the world. When you have one, you crave another. Sometimes they surprise and come in waves. Oh my god, that's the best feeling in the world. One rolls into another, and another, and another.

It's so fucking fabulous to be a woman and be able to experience that. Puppies have NO clue.

Childbirth isn't much fun and our monthly visitor is always miserable. We were truly lucky Kara had hers a week before we left. Her PMS isn't much fun... but I love her. Besides, it's nothing she can help. I'm long past those days, thank god.

This is so odd!!! I'm writing, almost clinically, about the rapture that is our orgasms. And I'm weaving all this other stuff in and out of the paragraphs. I hope that's okay with you as you read our love story. I have absolutely no idea where I'm going. I'm just glad to be writing again... telling you our tale.

Kara collapsed on me, panting, shivering, a mess of damp blonde. There was nothing for me to do but wrap her up in my arms. I wanted nothing more. I blinked back tears of joy, of love.

"You did it." The words came in a raspy huff. "You've wrecked me. I may not be able to walk for the rest of our vacation." Hee hee! And that was just the first of her orgasms tonight. And we had a couple more days to go. shiver!!

I murmured my assent.

"I don't want to move, baby, and I'm not sure I can." I smiled as I held my lover.

"Are you going to try to uncouple from that thing?" Kara shivered.

"I will... but I'm so not looking forward to it. It hurt to shiver." I laughed. "You bitch! I'll get you for laughing at my discomfort." I was looking forward to it. Kinda, sorta.

Eventually Kara gathered her strength and lifted from me and the dildo. She moaned from the discomfort. I rolled her to her back and dove in, loving her red, swollen labia, bathing her with kisses and licks. She surprised me when she moaned, quivered, screamed and bucked as she came again. I was shocked!!! It wasn't my intention to do that to her. For her. But I know she didn't mind. I was thrilled.

She swore at me afterwards as she lay, trembling, on our perspiration drenched sheets. We would be fated to sleep in a post coital swamp tonight. What a way to live!!

We both desperately needed to shower and otherwise freshen up. We took turns washing each other as we usually did. Utmost care was taken on desperately sore flesh. You know where.

We sat, afterward, sipping wine, in chairs, on the balcony, lights off inside, naked. Nobody could see us. (I hope!) Truth is... I wouldn't have minded a wolf whistle or ten. I did insist we turn the lights off in our room. Kara laughed at me.

"What's on tap tomorrow, baby?"

"You're in charge of this weekend, wife of mine." Uh oh! I could see the gleam... barely, in the moonlight. "Listen, you, we will not spend the entire weekend in bed. We're here to get a break from our lives. We're here to enjoy each other and have some fun. We're here..." She'd started giggling at 'enjoy each other.' Kara has the unique ability to turn just about anything I say into something sexual. It amuses her and frustrates me sometimes. Usually I just shake my head in wonder.

"You're adorable. Do you know that?" I felt myself blush.

"Long as you think so."

"Well I do. And aren't you just the lucky one that I do... do you."

"And I you, dear, and I you." She moaned.

"It hurts to shiver, you bitch." My turn to giggle.

"You're welcome." The blues went to slits. Dear god. Really? She's younger than me, but I was counting on her being rendered helplessly sore and completely spent. Kara stood up.

"Come on, wife of mine. I fully intend to leave you in the same condition I'm in. It's only fair."

She did. I liked it!!

** February 3rd, 2015 **

Lissy and Kara

Kara's sponsor died in late January of 2015 of an overdose. Kara had told me she suspected that Britta was back on drugs. It seemed she had missed meetings and blown off some follow-ups with Kara. We had talked about what to do. Kara talked to some of the others she had gotten to know in N.A. There was a particular dude, who called himself Bojangles, that she seemed to trust well enough.

Kara asked him to stay after a meeting in January. He did and they talked. Kara confided her suspicions and asked for advice.

"His eyes shifted; he was quiet for a time. He finally said, 'I'd say give her time to come around. She may be your sponsor and all, but she's one hit from being back in the blackness.'" I had shivered when she told me. I couldn't wrap my mind around being hooked on something so desperately bad for you. But I did my best not to judge. "There for the grace of God..." and all that!

"What do you want to do, lover? You've come to be pretty close to her. You have separate lives but you see each other often. If you think you should break away from her, for your benefit, then I'd say do it. But I'm in a tough spot here."

"I know, baby, and I don't like bringing my mess to our house. We're still getting used to living together full time again. I'm working again and trying to rebuild my life and my credit history. It was on the strength of yours, and the money you contributed to the down payment, that we got this place.

"Don't make that face at me! I know I helped some, but it wasn't nearly the same." It was an old argument and served no purpose whatsoever.

"We don't need to go there again! So let's stay on track. Have you thought about calling Claudette and asking for her advice?" She nodded.

"Yeah I have. It's been on my mind all along. We've talked now and then but not regularly. I don't... no, haven't... felt the need to with the way Britta and I have connected." Her face took on a pained look. "But now... this? I think I need a lifeline." She looked at me. "Besides you of course." Frustrated, I shook my head.

"Kara, this part of you we share... up to a point. You were told to lean on those like you. Told not to use me as your sole sounding board. I'm here for you, lover. Have been, will be. We both know it's better for you if we keep this one piece at least a little bit separate from us." I thought the nod was bit reluctant.

"You're right. As usual. I sound like I'm whining and desperate; both are qualities I've tried... am trying... to keep in remission." Her smile was a wry one. "I guess it's okay to let the devil get some sunlight now and then."

"Yeah, every once in a blue freakin' moon!!" We both laughed. I looked at the woman I love, with love, and said, "I'm proud of you for the work you've done, and are doing, on yourself. I know you are too. Call Claudette, love Britta, but keep your distance would be my best advice."

Kara never shared what Claudette said. I didn't press the issue. In the end, Kara's gotta do what Kara's gotta do for her, for me, for us. That one little piece of her is best compartmentalized and kept separate as much as we can.

Britta died, as I said. The wake was an odd hodgepodge of people... some from Kara's work and some from her N.A. connections, as well as what seemed to be Britta's family and what friends she had. Her parents looked haggard and shell shocked. And distant. I wondered if they hadn't dreaded getting the seemingly inevitable phone call. I know I had tears, looking at them, and thinking about them as I type.

The cutest little guy looked lost as he sat with his grandparents. As part of the Mom sorority it broke my heart to see him in such... I honestly can't imagine how the little guy felt. He was much too young to understand what was going on. I really didn't see much value in him being here. But I did wonder if his grandparents wondered what on earth they were going to do with the delightful bundle of cute.

I met Mick when Kara went up to him and kissed him.

.

"Hey, buddy, how are ya tonight?" Bewildered blue eyes stared at Kara. I can feel my throat closing as I try and write about that icky first meeting. "I'm sorry. It's hard for you. I can't imagine." He continued to stare.

"I want my mommy." His chin quivered. I couldn't help myself. I cried. "Where's my mommy, Kara?"

I didn't envy Kara the moment.

She cleared her throat and said, her voice thick with emotion, "She's gone to heaven, sweetheart. To be with God."

I nearly collapsed when he said, "Does she love God more than me? I need my Mommy."

Tears are rolling down my face as I type. I can tell you it was a sleepless night for both of us. Kara couldn't stop crying. We both did. It was among the worst moments of my life. Out of the blue came a lightning bolt.

"Can you be my mommy, Kara?" Everybody froze! His grandparents, Kara, me, and anyone in earshot of the little cutie's desperate plea.

The silence lingered as Kara tried, desperately, to compose herself enough to answer him. The tension and desperation leeched from her slender frame.

"I don't know, sweetie. I'm thinking it may be too soon to make those kind of decisions." I looked at his stricken grandparents. They were weary, grieving, and desperate. But desperate for what? Someone to take their flesh and blood off their hands? Could you judge them? Would you? I mean really.

That night was ghastly. Ten times worse than Dylan's wake and funeral. Our friends were all middle age adults. It was a shock he died. I'm sure I didn't play the part of grieving widow very well, as evidenced by the cold shoulder I've received in the years that have passed from so many I had thought were friends. Anyway...

It's about the kid... our son... now!

We talked. Oh my god how we talked. Kara didn't have the first clue about motherhood. I'd had my fill and way more.

"Kara, honey, you can't imagine the time we'd have to invest with the little guy!! There's the heartache of losing his Mom and getting to know us. We'd have to go through the bullshit rigmarole of the bureaucracy as well. It's not easy."

She nodded. "Let's go for it."

We did. It took a long time and a lot of headache, heartache, and money. And he's our son now. For better or... better.

There are legal hurdles to clear as well as others. Kara's status as a recovering junkie didn't help. But the fact she'd been back at work, a glowing letter of recommendation from Allen Leland, and a host of character references from people she works with didn't hurt.

Britta's parents had to sign off too. Niklas and Karen were very nice to us through the journey. The tragedy, well - part of it anyway - is that Britta was their only child. Complications during her birth made having another child risky, as we learned along the way.

The fact that we're gay was... it was hard to gauge how that played into it. Thankfully more states are recognizing the rights of people like us living in marriage as legal. That it's about time is irrelevant... sorta. That it was legal when all this happened was a very big deal!!!

The fact that we are two gay women in a committed relationship was a plus. We didn't have to get into the specifics of time, etc., which was good. But we did demonstrate we were together and living as a couple, which we were.

The machine moves slowly. It was nearly seven months after Britta's passing that we finally got a letter saying we had been approved to adopt him. That happened less than a month before we married... shrug... was another step we would have taken anyway by that time. But, in light of little Mick, it was even more of a no-brainer.

We saw him as often as we could. As time went on, and Mick and his grandparents became more familiar with us and we with them, it got easier. He wasn't in school yet. Karen didn't work, so she was the primary caretaker.

Obviously, we wouldn't keep him from seeing his grandparents. And we didn't.

And then there were my kids!!!!

Mick glommed on to Dylan from the start. JR was a little too old to be a "best buddy," but he turned out to be the adult male every little male kid needs. At least that was my point of view.

As you might guess, Rachel and June were just the cutest with the little guy. They fawned over him and spoiled him like nobody's business.

They actually fought over who would give him his nightly bath when they all stayed at our condo - which was interesting! Their compromise was pretty mature, given who they were. One would bathe, the other would dry and powder. I have to say one of them used way too much powder. But I guess it's just a thing June liked. And it harms no one!

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