All Comments on 'Boss Lady'

Interesting story line. Pathetic writing. The story as posted is destroyed by run-on sentences and other poor sentence structure, homonym (and near-homonym) errors, and inconsistencies in logic. (Does Mary sleep well and forget the prior commands? Or is it necessary for her to be released by a verbal code phrase?) It could have been a good story.

-- KK in Texas

Too long, hard to follow, and not enough dialogue.

snorefest!

a real pro Giggle

Chuckles: "When you do something give it your all..." and she most certainly did!

Great start to the story keep writing it please, wonder what happens next does her underling find out

I am sorry but the ending just isn't an ending because it leaves readers hanging and wondering where the rest of the story is. Additionally you really needed to do some research on hypnosis. I am a Hypnotherapist and she would not have even remembered the 6 o'clock meeting without receiving the word or phrase that would cause her to go back into the hypnotic trance. Please understand I am.not trying to give criticism but constructive criticism. Your writing and the subject is very good. I not only would love to see what you would write as a continuation of this story but also more stories of this nature.

thanks for the advice, I hope I've improved since this was written. There are a lot of stories not completed but there are so many ideas buzzin in my head and so little time.

That was just kind of lousy. Too much weird stuff about the business thrown in, didn't make sense whether she was going to be under the influence or not after she slept the night. No reason why she would have continued the next night or what happened if she missed work the next day. That just didn't make sense at all. You need an editor or something.