All Comments on 'Boss Me Around'

For a while I was a bit worried by the seemingly semi juvenile writing style. Should have realised something was up as the punctuation was excellent and there was the occasional clever line, such as "I felt kinda bad for whoever'd be eating here".

Turns out the style was the entirely appropriate lead in to what I consider one of the best closing paragraphs I have ever read. Well done.

If this is your best work, Stop. Please Stop Writing.

Obviously different strokes for different folks. I don't think PD10 got it at all. I thought it was clever.

It needs a little editing and maybe a rewrite.