Breaking Taylor

David came back in. He had an armful of journal books and packages of my favorite pens. He went to the table and set them down. I went to the other side of the table. He actually brought them. I didn't think he would. He was just standing there. He looked a little strange.

"Thank you for the journals." I said. Cautiously I looked into his eyes. It struck me then, our talk was over. It would begin. My heart sank.

"We should get started. We can talk while we work." He turned and went to the locked dresser and opened one of the drawers. He hesitated before taking out those dreadful zip ties and a blindfold. I began trembling. Nothing good ever happened while I restrained, nothing.

"David. Please. I can't do this. Let's just talk some more." I pleaded, still keeping the table between us but knowing it would do no good.

He went to the intercom and instructed someone to turn on the website. I knew there was no stopping this, but to be restrained was the worst thing in the world. I hated it. He knew it. He went to the computer and did some quick tests to make sure everything was working, it was. When he turned to me I knew I had no where to go.

"It'll be all right. Please come and sit we should discuss the first of many rules." He gestured to the couch. I obeyed, knowing if I didn't that far worse things might happen than being restrained.

"David, I, I can't do this. I thought I could but I can't." I said quickly and began to cry. I hoped he would have mercy, but it was not in his nature to have mercy on anything.

"The first set of rules is very simple. Follow instructions. Don't fight. There are consequences for breaking those rules. Do you understand?" He remained standing.

"Yes. But why does it have to be this way?" I inquired without moving.

"This training can change your life. It'll be a little unpleasant now but you'll thank me for it later." He stated. David had the air about him of a college instructor, the lack of emotion as well. I had a feeling I would not be lucky enough to detach myself during this ordeal that I would experience every single minute of it.

"David, I'm scared. I don't want to do this. Can't we just sit and talk like we were doing?" I pleaded. I was slowly beginning to realize that there was nothing I could do to prolong the ordeal.

"Please stand up." He stepped back to give me the room I needed to get up. I obeyed. I didn't look at him. I was afraid to. He began speaking, more for the website I think than to me. "In training a slave proper preparation is essential. As you can see, Taylor obeys commands. A little slowly but quite well considering her preparation was quite extreme." He took hold of my shoulders and moved me out to the middle of the room. "For proper preparation techniques please refer to the guide in the archives of the website."

"David. I'm scared. Please don't do this." I was trying not to cry but failing miserably. I knew what he could do if I was totally helpless. I was trembling and he saw it.

"Remember what I told you about fear being a wonderful tool? This is where it will help you. Now I want you to close your eyes." I did. When the blindfold touched my face I jumped. At least he chose the one with fur. It was the most comfortable one. He snugged it down. "Is that too tight?" He asked. Why did he suddenly care about my comfort? He never seemed to care about it before.

"No it's all right." I responded. What I really wanted to say was take it off and leave me alone. I don't like this. But I couldn't. He would certainly get upset and I did not want that.

"Now is when you need to listen very carefully. There are rules for me as well. Training is a matter of trust on both of our parts. Me, the master and you, the submissive. In most training the submissive would be instructed to address the dominant by 'master'. I will not ask you to do that. I want you to use my name." He paused and gently took my wrists in his hands. He pulled them behind me. I began to protest.

"David, what? Please don't do this." I begged. I wanted to jerk away from him and run. I couldn't. I was paralyzed by fear. He was too strong and even if I did where could I go? It would be a chase around the room and what point would there be in that? I felt the zip tie slide between my bracelet and my skin, then the same on the other wrist. I heard the clicks of it zipping closed. He deliberately did it one click at a time, slowly making sure each click was heard. He cinched it as tight as it would go. I was trembling badly now. He stood behind and leaned his head near my ear.

"The rules for me are not so simple. While you are restrained you must TRUST me not to hurt you. What have I ever done to earn your trust?" He was so into this now. I wasn't sure I had heard him right. I had to trust him NOT to hurt me? Is that what he said? He asked again, "What have I ever done to earn your trust?"

"Until today, nothing." I whispered. Not sure I was playing this game properly but hoping I was. He didn't move. His breath was warm on my ear, almost soothing if he wasn't scaring me so.

"Exactly. You have no reason to trust me and every reason not to. That's why this training will succeed." He walked around me and stood in front of me. Close enough to know he was there, but far enough to give me some room. I was still crying. "Today's lesson will seem almost comical at times, but it is quite serious and will require you to fully trust me. Do you think you can do that?" He asked.

"I don't think I have much of a choice. Do I?" I tried not to sound sarcastic or angry. How could I trust him? All he has ever done is hurt me. The trembling had tapered a bit, but was still showing just how terrified I was.

"All right then. The ground rules: I will ask questions. You are to answer them as truthfully as you can. Even if you think it's not what I want to hear. Honesty is very important in this training. Do you understand?" He waited.

"Yes." I replied and pursed my lips waiting for the other shoe to drop, for the bottom to fall out of my world.

"I will put you in situations that you will have to trust me not to let you get hurt. Some of them may be quite terrifying. Do you understand?" He stepped away and left me standing there.

"Yes. I have to trust you even though I have every reason not to." I stated trying not to sob while I said it. He began speaking to the website again.

"For all of those watching you have not had the benefit of seeing Taylor prepared. When I tell you it has been quite brutal, believe me it has. The only reason that she is so compliant right now is because my partner had a discussion with her last night. If Taylor could show you she would be running from me right now, screaming for help, begging me not to hurt her." Then to me he said, "Right Taylor?"

"Yes." Was all I could say. I didn't want to think about everything he had done to me.

"Please tell me why you're so afraid of me." He almost ordered. I could tell he was moving around the room but I didn't know why, or if it even had a purpose.

"Do I have to do this?" I hoped he would tell me I didn't but I knew I would not be so lucky.

"Yes. It's important that your viewers understand how we got to this point of the training." He sounded like a college instructor. He's playing this role. I tried to focus on what he said about trusting him not to hurt me while I am restrained. I took a deep breath and poured it all out.

"You kidnapped me a little over a year ago. I was kept bound, blindfolded and gagged for months. I was raped brutally and repeatedly, by what I now assume had to be you. The times you raped me when I knew it was you it was extremely brutal. Twice yesterday alone. You left me lying on the floor in my own blood afterwards. Your touch makes my skin crawl because I know what you can do to me at any time you choose and I can do nothing to stop it. I fight, with everything I am but it doesn't stop you. If I am bound it's worse. Like last night. See the bruises I have from fighting? No matter how I cried, or how I pleaded it didn't matter to you." I was sobbing hard now and fell to my knees. Why was he making me relive this? I wish I had my hands I wanted to hide my face and cry. I wanted to crawl in a corner somewhere and die. "I can't, I can't do this." I sobbed.

"Yes you can. And you will." He firmly reassured me. "Tell them about the woods. Tell them all of it, even about Lucas." He directed.

"I had, I had escaped. I ran into the woods behind the house. I hid. I was out there for hours and it was so cold." I could not stop crying now. "I heard David and Lucas. I saw them. When they passed by I made a run for it. David caught me. He threw me to the ground and slapped me. He split my lip. I screamed and screamed. I couldn't get him off me." My whole body was shaking with the sobs. "He raped me. It was brutal. He hurt me. Lucas tried to stop him. Oh God, please don't make me do this!" I begged him.

"They must understand why you shouldn't trust me. Please continue." He said without a hint of emotion. It sounded like he had sat down at the table.

"Lucas was so nice to me. It's my fault. It's my fault!" I cried. "You didn't have to kill him!" I shouted at David.

"How did I kill him?" He inquired. "Tell the viewers how it happened."

"David was raping me and Lucas was screaming at him to stop. When he was done he picked up the gun, turned around and shot Lucas right between the eyes. Not even ten feet from me. I was terrified he would turn the gun on me. I saw the look in Lucas's eyes. I saw him fall like it was slow motion." I put my head to my knees. I couldn't continue. I think David knew it too.

"You did well Taylor." He came to me and placed his hand on my back. I tried to pull away but it was a futile attempt. "Now the training can truly begin." He said as he helped me back to my feet. "Do you remember what I have told you so far?"

"I think so." I stammered. Those memories were trying to cloud my brain. Tears still coursed down my face. He wiped them away with his fingers so tenderly.

"Good. Remember your main job is to trust that I will not hurt you or allow you to be hurt while you are restrained. Also remember, this is not about sex. It really has nothing to do with sex. Although later training will have some, it is not about sex. Do you understand?" He took my shoulders in his hands and waited.

"I think so." Did this mean I would not be raped? I felt somewhat relieved. What did it mean though? I had stopped crying. Now was not the time to mourn for Lucas. I had to pay attention and get through this. I had to keep from upsetting David, keep that monstrous side of him tucked away. Fear coursed through my veins like fire, setting every nerve in my body on edge. The slightest touch made me jump. A shift in the air around me sent my heart racing. I must calm down. I have to control my panic. I tried to take deep breaths as I waited for David to respond.

CHAPTER 10

"Are you ready for a little lesson in trust?" He asked, still holding my shoulders. My heart was racing so fast I thought it would burst right out of my chest and across the room.

"Do I have a choice?" I whispered. My head hung low, I did not want to raise it even though I couldn't see him if I did.

"This test will be simple, kind of fun actually." He said as he walked around behind me. "Remember those three legged races back in school, where you had to trust your partner to run with you to the finish line?" He sounded happy, like he was smiling. Did he really enjoy this as much as it sounded like he was?

"Yes. I always hated those games." I added.

"Well, this test is similar to that three legged one. I am going to place you on one leg. You have to trust me not to let you fall. It will be hard to keep your balance. Do you think it sounds too difficult?" Did I hear a little concern in his voice?

"No. I think I can do that." I stated hesitantly. So far this wasn't as terrible as my imagination had led me to think.

"All right then." He said as he knelt behind me. I felt his hand on my hips. "Which leg would you prefer to stand on?" He asked.

"Um. I've never thought about it. My right I suppose." I was relaxing a bit. I could do this I tried to convince myself. Chris's voice began inching into my thoughts. What he said about training being hard, sometimes unbearable. I pushed it aside. This was not bad and I could do this. I would do whatever I had to in order to keep David calm so I would not get hurt.

His hands went down my legs, one hand on each leg. Then he took my right ankle in his hand. "I am going to lift this leg up to your hip. You will need to help." He instructed as he began lifting it.

"I thought, you asked," I began; somewhat shocked he was securing the leg I had chosen to stand on. He didn't respond. I felt my foot touch my behind, then he placed another of those hateful zip ties through the bracelet on my ankle and through the one on my wrists. He cinched it down so that my leg hung a little loose at my behind. He was right; keeping my balance would be very hard. His hands held my sides securely as I wobbled, trying not to fall. It was a little funny; I felt a smirk on my lips.

"Now I'm going to let go. You will remain like this as long as you can. I will not interfere. Do you think you can trust me to keep you from falling and hurting yourself?" He said as he let go. It shocked me to be standing on one leg. I struggled a little but it threw me off balance. It took me a second to regain the balance. I was so scared that this was almost hilarious.

"This is not exactly what I expected." I giggled a little. "Yes, I think I can trust you not to let me fall." I actually laughed. I kept telling myself this was ridiculous and that I could do this. Surely he would not let me fall. I could break a bone if I did. He wouldn't let that happen because then I would need medical attention and that would mean taking me out of here and David would not let that happen. So it really wasn't so much a matter of trust as common sense.

"You seem to be enjoying this." He chuckled a little. "What did you expect?" He questioned as he walked around me. I could tell he was doing this because I could feel the air around me moving.

"I'm not sure really." I commented as I shifted a little. The bracelet on my ankle was pinching me. I couldn't see how this exercise would train me but I went along. He had stopped right in front of me.

"Did you want to continue our conversation from earlier?" He was going to distract me as long as he could it seemed.

"Um. Yeah I suppose. It'll be difficult to concentrate when I'm like this though." I chuckled. At least he was not tormenting me like I had thought he would.

"We were talking about football. Would you really like to watch the games?" He inquired.

"Oh yes. I miss my weekends so much. Saturday, college ball all day long. The players, their potential, the rivalries. Sunday, pro ball, seeing those young players in their full potential playing against the best players in the game, it was the best stress relief in the world. I love football." I wanted to ask him what I have missed, but maybe he would let me watch some games. I could ask him then. I had to shift again, me leg was getting a little heavy and pulling on my wrists. Talking did take my mind off of it though.

"If you complete today successfully, I will bring in a TV and you can watch a game this evening. I think Austin is playing Harlem tonight. Austin has had a rough start this year they are 1-7." He was still standing in front of me. "Oh, you don't know all the trouble they've had this season."

"Austin has had an awesome team. What happened?" It shocked me. How had they gotten in such shape? Their quarterback was one of the best. Watching Austin was like watching a well oiled machine. They knew the game. They made it enjoyable to watch. He had to be pulling my leg, there was no way they could be 1-7. I shifted again almost losing my balance. This was beginning to get difficult very fast. My hands were going numb from the pressure and weight of my leg. My left leg was not as steady now as when this started. I tried to stretch it a little hoping it would relieve the pressure on it. I wasn't sure how much longer I could stand like this.

"Well, I think it was the first game of the season, maybe the second. I have them all recorded we can watch them and see." He said as he moved around me again. "The quarterback got tackled and when he fell he broke his collarbone. There has been talk. People are concerned it will affect his ability as a quarterback when he returns. He's out probably for the season." He stated as he stopped in front of me again.

"Oh." I said concerned. I like Austin. The bracelet on my ankle was really starting to dig into my skin and hurt. I winced a little.

"Something wrong?" He asked. His voice was so calm, relaxed, almost measured.

"It hurts a little." I said as I shifted again. "This is not very easy." I wanted to reach down and hold my foot in my hands, that would make it easier. But easier was not what this was about. I flexed my hands trying to work out the numbness.

"Getting difficult huh?" David moved away. I heard some noises across the room and wondered what he was doing.

"A little. There is something I need to ask." I said as I tried without success to shift somehow to make this easier. I couldn't keep this up much longer and I really did not want to fall. I knew if I did it would break something.

"Ask away." He said as he came around me yet again.

"When you were in my house what did you see?" My home contained everything about me, all of my secrets. How much did he invade? How much did he know about me?

"Everything." He said as I felt his hand caress my cheek. "Everything. I even read your journals." He took his hand away.

"My private journals?" He would know my thoughts, fears, everything about me if he read those. I gasped as I began falling. A little scream escaped my lips as I prepared for the impact the floor would have. It never happened. His arms were around me in a split second, stopping the fall. Before he stood me back up he cut the zip tie on my ankle and freed my leg. I was laughing. Out of fear and surprise I expect, but I was laughing. I wondered if I had passed this little test.

"Yes your private journals. They were enlightening." He remarked as he helped me stand up. I flexed my left leg. The muscles in it were so tight and trying to cramp. The feeling was returning to my hands. "As a matter of fact the next test was created from something I read in the journals."

I was mortified. Everything I feared was written in there. Which of my fears was he going to use for this training? I wondered. I was still stretching the best I could since my hands were bound. I hoped he would let me rest a few minutes before moving on. Thankfully he did.

"So was the first test so horrible?" He mused.

"No, you were right. It was actually funny. In some ways I felt like a child again." My left leg had stopped trying to cramp but the muscles were still tight. I hoped the next test would not involve it so much. I had gained some confidence in this. Maybe I could do this; maybe David would not allow me to be hurt. But would it really evolve trust or just exercise common sense? I wanted to continue our conversation, but not about football. I wanted to know more about why he chose me. "David," I began. "You said earlier that you thought you fell in love with the idea of me. What does that mean?"

"I felt that it couldn't be love because we had never really met. We did shake hands once at a party for one of the magazines you write for. I was under an assumed name of course. So if it couldn't be love then it had to be the idea of it. Obsessed may be a better term for it." He concluded. I could feel him standing near me again.