All Comments on 'Brenda's New Doctor'

This doctor definitely knew his "medicine". She needed an injection and she got it. Now let's see what the results are, say in 9 months? True doctoring, most of us men are doctors, whether we want to admit it or not....

Interesting roleplay. Now if only I could find such a doctor who made house calls and performed such thorough treatments.

Interesting roleplay. Now if only I could find such a doctor who made house calls and performed such thorough treatments.

Ladies- if you're hot and bothered- you're going to have to take care of it yourselves! hehe

This story had a confusing tempo to to it and went from hot to trite in a heartbeat.

You should have teased her more, stayed with her excitement instead of abruptly changing to yours.

Definite promise!

This story started out OK but fizzled real fast. With some reworking it could be enjoyable. Try again.

Cute little roleplays like this one go a long way to spice up a couple's sex life. This story was well-written and believable. Nice work.

Man you started out so well. It was fun and sexy and the description was good and then you rushed the end. Honestly. The scene played like something out of my past. It was like sex with my first boyfriend. We were eighteen and he made love like it was a race. Kiss for a few minutes, play with the tits, finger the pussy and drive for the goal. Bang..done. And I'm thinking "What just happened here." That's how I felt after reading your story. Lots of promise but in the end it kind of lets you down. Sorry man..just saying. But you're braver than I am. At least you put your stuff out there for comment. I'll be looking for more stuff from you.Thanks... from a cowardly,but aspiring writer.

...looks like somebody was in a hurry to finish! As others have said, this story starts out really great, but 'fizzles' toward the end. This paragraph, for example - "I dropped my pants and revealed my throbbing cock. Swiftly, and with her full cooperation, I mounted Brenda. Immediately, I began pumping myself into her as hard as I could. She groaned and cupped her chest as her boobs bounced and the bed squeaked. I was excited as she appareltny was, and quickly approached my first orgasm. My loins tightened and I withdrew from her body, kneeling above." - should have taken up at least 6 paragraphs, rich with the same detailed description and dialog as the previous paragraphs.

So, back off on the gas pedal, Joe, and spend a bit more time writing the story! It's quite normal for a writer to get 'too' involved in the story and want to finish quickly!

have a great day, Joe!