All Comments on 'Brotherly Love Ch. 01'

I feel like there could have been more build up with the sister not just jumping straight to trying to turn her brother on so quickly but other than that this is a promising story.

And he wins the lottery the very next day! As if a young, shy VIRGIN is going to get on his knees IN A THEATER and eat his sister to a loud orgasm? Sorry, but you lost me when he pulled her skirt off. Every fantasy has to have some root in reality, but this one departed too far, too quickly!

You need to develop your characters more. What is there about the sister that would suddenly produce the kind of behavior she exhibited? Where did this come from? Was there anything about the relationship between brother and sister which would make the behavior more understandable?

THANKS FOR MAKING ME HARD. Great story . I can't wait for chapter 2.

I agree with the other comments made by the other readers. You as a new writer may wanna take it a little slower and develop your characters & their own individual actions first to create more sensuallity as well as enticement. You're on the right track and your vivid imagination can definitely flourish...keep it up!!!

Good story look forward to chp2 but you need to build up the chacters a bit more. Defenteinely look forward to part 2

Great story and I agree with most of the other readers comments. you need to give a little more background on the kids first but you are doing for your first try so keep up the good work and looking forward to Ch. 2

not bad,not great but worth a read & hope next chapter is up ASAP

:( I was really hoping for another chapter. Damn...

this was a great story in all honesty but i gave it 4 stars because i dont see a second chapter. you have too finish what you start

It's going great so far. Just please don't involve a third party or turn the sister into some kind of cum whore. I really hate when that happens. That shit is not even close to reality. And, yes, I realize this is fantasy. But the best fantasy has elements of reality within it. Trust me on that!!! Can't wait for ch. 2. Write on!!!!

Oh my, what a great story. Please don't stop. Looking forward to reading the next chapter.