Brownwood: I Dreamed Ch. 06

"I know I've given you plenty of reasons not to trust me. I wish to God I hadn't, but I ran out on us back in college. Now you have to decide if it's worth trying to pick up the pieces and try to rebuild what we had. I'm sure it would be easier to start fresh with someone new but I hope you consider giving me a chance.

"For my part, you need to know I want to try again. I'm not looking for guarantees. No promise we'll marry someday. But I need to know you believe there's a chance we can have a future together. Because if you do... then I'll fight with everything I have, for us.

"But until you decide..."

She gathered herself as her eyes began to water again.

"Until you decide what you want, I need to leave—"

"Bree," Zach interrupted, "that's not what—"

"Please let me finish," she said, the tears now streaming down her face.

"I'm going to stay with Mom and Dad for a while. I'll pick up my stuff after my shift while you're still at work today. I'm not running away from you, Zach. Not like before. As you said, sometimes just being together makes it hard to think things through. What I'm doing is giving you some space, some time to decide if I'm worth the effort to try again. I hope and pray you feel I am.

"Zach, even though I'm stepping away, I want you to know my heart. You've asked me to marry you twice. Both times you've been hurt. The first time we weren't ready, the second I wasn't. Now it's my turn..."

Bree moved closer to him and took his face gently in her hands and stared deep into his eyes. She whispered her next words.

"Zach Morgan, I love you with all my heart, would you please consider marrying me someday?"

Before he could speak she kissed him and then placed her finger on his lips.

"Sweetheart, it's taken me a long time, maybe too long, but I know what I want now. I want to be Brianna Morgan, Mrs. Zach Morgan. I want to be the reason you can't wait to get home from work. I want to be the reason why your heart races, and why your mind gets distracted when I get out of the shower. I want to be the ear you tell how your day went or whisper your heart's dreams and desires.

"I also want the chance to be called Shannon's 'Mommy.' I dream of being there as she grows into that wonderful woman I know she'll be. I want to be there when she reaches puberty and has questions, to tell her she can't date until she's sixteen, to be sitting on the front pew holding your hand and crying my eyes out as she promises herself to the man of her dreams.

"Baby, I dream of spending the rest of my life making sure you never regret sharing your life with me."

Zach stared at her, stunned by her intense passion.

"Finally... in ten years," she whispered. "I want to look out over that white picket fence with you and Shannon and know I didn't miss out on the important things in life, my family. Zach, I know I'm being dramatic..."

Her face changed as she looked at the clock. "Oh shit, I'm going to be late!" she yelped as she jumped up off the bed and grabbed her purse. As she started to walk out the door she paused.

"Baby, I love you but you have to do what is best for both you and Shannon. If that doesn't include me, I won't like it but I'll try to understand. Please... please don't take a long time to decide. This is killing both of us."

She rushed out of the apartment. He knew it was time to make a decision. Whether to take a chance on Bree and let her completely into his and Shannon's lives, or to end this damaged relationship and seek a fresh start.

He closed his eyes and sighed.

****

Shannon squealed and jumped over a crack in the Lakewood Mall's sidewalk. Giggling, she turned back to make sure Zach and Allie had seen her.

"Careful, Cupcake," her daddy warned. "You're dripping!"

Shannon giggled as she raised her hand holding the small ice cream cone. With one quick move she licked both her hand and the ice cream cone. Then turning, she gave them a big chocolate mustache grin.

Both Zach and Allie laughed.

"Giving chocolate to a four-year-old is probably not considered wise," Allie said with a smile. Then she froze realizing what she had just said. "Oh, Zach, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it the way it sounded. You're a wonderful parent."

"Mom, it's all right," he said calmly and smiled weakly.

She had a pained expression on her faced

"Honey, I am so sorry. I'm trying, I'm really am!"

"I know, Mom, and that makes it easier. Also, I asked you to come with us this morning, but it wasn't just to go shopping for a Halloween costume for Shannon. Besides finding a princess outfit for her, I need your advice, too."

He relayed the events of the past few days, the confrontation at the hospital, their session with Sarah, and Bree's proposal. His mother hadn't made any comments other than to ask a few clarifying questions.

"Honey, I know my granddaughter is a good kid and that you don't spoil her... well not too much. She always seems so happy now."

"She is, Mom. She's been happier more this last month than I've ever seen her. These last few months have been hard on her as well. With everything that's happened, it's got to be confusing for her. I know it's confusing to me!

"I know Shannon is falling in love with Bree. I don't know, Mom, maybe it's better to try to make this work with Bree. It makes good sense. It'll be good for Shannon and maybe someday..."

"You stop right there," Allie growled, glaring at him. "I don't want to hear any more of that bullshit. There are times in all marriages when you have to suck it up and do what's best for your family. Marrying someone you can't or won't love is foolish and just asking for everyone to get hurt.

"Honey," she said, her voice softening, "Bree is right though, you need to decide what's best for both you and Shannon. What's best for your little girl is to see her daddy being true to himself."

They walked in silence, or at least as much silence as can be expected when walking with a four-year-old wearing a tiara and devouring an ice cream cone.

"I'm glad she had the courage to tell you how she felt. It would've been hard for her to leave, given what she's asking for."

He nodded.

"I know, she said she wasn't asking for a commitment immediately, but her proposal sure didn't feel like it."

"I know it might not seem like it, but I don't think she was asking you for a commitment."

Zach looked at her confused. Allie smiled sadly.

"What I think she's wanting," she said gently, "is hope."

Allie paused for a moment and stared off into the distance.

"It's something I searched for many years ago and was blessed to find. I know you remember some of the things that happened when we first came to Brownwood. It was a hard time for us. Your father had left the three of us for that big-titted secretary of his and had screwed me in the divorce so we got very little in the settlement.

"I don't know what to say, between the loss of the man I'd hoped to grow old with and the financial straits he put us in, I was destroyed. I didn't know where to turn. When an old girlfriend of mine told me she could get me a job at the battery plant here in Brownwood, I took it.

"We moved here and started a new life but I couldn't see any happiness in my future. Your father had stolen it. I was like a ship lost at sea. I couldn't find the shore. All I could see was a hopeless fog.

"Then I met your dad and the haze started to clear. Oh, Zach, he was a godsend. He gave me hope again. I began to imagine a future where I was actually happy. One where I was loved and protected and could see myself growing old with him. I still thank God for him every day.

"Of course I didn't see it that way when I first met him. I was such a mess when we started dating. I was scared and bitter and so angry, I tried my damnedest to run him off. But he wouldn't go away."

"In the end, Phil broke through my defenses. He showed me how to live again. Because of him I can dream again and even though he's gone, I know I'll love again, someday.

"That's what I want for you, Zach. I don't know what you should do about Bree. I love her but it's more important you have a chance for happiness. I want you to search for that happiness. Whether it's with Bree or not, I'll stand behind you.

"Honey, there's nothing worse for a parent than to look into her child's eyes and see hopelessness. I want you to dream again.

"And as for me, I know there's another man out there that I'll someday give my heart to. I just haven't found him yet. Besides, I'm still a pretty good catch. Too good to be hiding behind a counter every day, don't you think?"

His mother smiled sweetly and winked as Zach chuckled.

The rest of the afternoon went smoothly. Soon Zach was carrying a sleepy Shannon in his arms as they began to make their way out of the mall. As they passed a jewelry store window, Shannon perked up.

"Just like mine!" she squealed and pointed.

Zach and Allie looked at what she was pointing at and laughed. There in the window was a beauty pageant tiara.

"Yeah, Cupcake, just like yours," Allie said, smiling.

"Accept for the price tag," she said softly for only Zach to hear.

Unfortunately, he wasn't listening. His eyes were fixed on some other jewelry on display.

"Mom," he said, "we might need to hit one more store."

****

Zach got out of car and looked up at the Olsens' front porch.

It's déjà vu all over again! He chuckled to himself.

Slowly he made his way towards the porch. Sitting there were Gerald and Tommy. As he approached it was obvious they were watching him, trying to determine if this was going to be a good or bad visit.

Before he even stepped up on the porch, three of the Olsen women came out of the house to meet him. Priscilla and Donna joined their family off to the side as Bree stood at the top of the steps.

She stood there in her white fuzzy robe with her hair still wet. Her eyes were red and puffy and he noticed her shiver in the cool, autumn air.

"Are you all right?" Zach asked, obviously concerned.

"I don't know, am I?" she responded softly.

He could see the fear and uncertainty in her face and his heart broke.

"Bree, I'm sorry..."

She gasped and her eyes began to tear.

"No!" Zach said quickly. "No, sweetheart please let me finish."

She wiped her eyes with the sleeve and stared at him.

"Bree, I'm sorry," he started again. "I'm sorry it's taken me this long to pull my head out of my butt and accept the fact that I love you. I always have and I always will. I know I've still got some things to work through but if you're willing to walk beside me..."

Zach pulled out a small box and kneeled. Bree's hands flew to her mouth and the tears began to fall.

"I realize you've already asked this but I wanted to make it official, in front of witnesses. Bree Olsen, will you—"

"Yes!" she shrieked as she launched herself at him. Zach barely managed to keep his balance as he caught her. She began smothering him with kisses before she buried her head into his shoulder.

"Marry me?" he whispered in her ear.

He could feel her nod as he heard her begin to sob. He heard her muffled voice whispering into his chest. "Thank you God, oh thank you."

He looked up at his future in-laws. They were all smiling, with Priscilla and Donna fighting back their own tears. Donna stepped forward and spoke for them all.

"About time," she said as she wiped away a stray tear.

****