All Comments on 'Bullies Raped Me and My Boyfriend'

This story could have been good, but the grammatical and spelling and continuity errors completely ruined it for me, and I had to stop reading it before any real action started. : (

I really wanted to read it (even if I would skim over the male rape, if there were any), so it's disappointing that a nice set up was wasted by rushed publication. An editor could improve this story so that it would at least be readable, and isn't that what you want?

Did you bother to proof read this garbage? They knew where the house was, they were covered in DNA and their next stop was the Police. The end to a worthless story.

she could just shoot all three of them! SCUM!

It's obvious that English is not her first language. It was very well done and thank you for the free read.

Hot stuff ry. I jerked myself hard and then bent my wife over th kitchen countertop. Damn this was hot. Thanks.

I didn't mind the English as a second language grammar, I thought it made some of the sentences come out exotic and poetic, and the meaning was always perfectly clear. I don't think any haters of this story could write this well in Hindi or Bengali.

I will check other maanmathan_playboy's submissions (hope this is not the only one).

Some readers think that they are members of a self-appointed Language Interpol.

They are wrong on many grounds, the main one being as follows:

Erotic writers must srite freely, depicting their fantasies as they are coming to mind. Essentially erotic stories are a conduit to share erotic fantasies.

Laws & regulation are written in good & precise English, but they are boring... BORING.

I wouldn't care if they filmed it or not. After an appropriate recovery time, the hunt would begin. They would not rape anybody again.

(1) The story is EROTIC!

(2) Literotica writers MUST NOT be hesitant when writing erotic stories: our brain creates imaginary situations much faster than we can put them in words. The moment we are to think about correct grammar, our train of thoughts changes or gets interrupted altogether.

A genuinely good sex scene can be depicted in ANY English, including BROKEN ENGLISH.

Examle:

... My boss say me sexy.

Me say "sir, have husband, please no say that, please."

Tomorrow me and boss overtime. He near me, me move. He near me again, me move. He near me, me corner, me no can move. Me see boss man thing no sleeping, is big. Boss take out man thing. Boss kiss me on mouth. His tongue now my mouth. "Ser, please no, have husband home."

"Husband no find out. You sexy. You too sexy, me no can sleep. You pretty."

"Thank you sir, please no, have husband home."

He put my hand his man thing. His man thing big, very big.

Boss put his hand between my legs. Me now wet between legs. He one hand hold my hand his man thing. His other hand between my legs.

He say "no be afrsid. This secret. Me no bad guy. You too sexy, you too pretty... please, you say yes. You wet between legs."

"Me no sure, sir. Me no only woman. Many woman sexy, many woman wet beyween legs. You sexy man, your man thing big & strong... you find many woman... me have husband. Please sir."

"Me want you. Me dream you. This our secret."

"You very difficult man, sir... you no inderstand no... you no bad guy... ok, me say maybe... me no say no, me say maybe."

"God girl. Now you kiss my man thing . You kiss my man thing, me happy. You no kiss my man thing, me cry cry cry."

"Sir, this secret, right?"

"Yes this secret."

"OK, me no say maybe, me say yes! You happy now?" ....

fucking good

felt like i was raping her

I don't get why you would end the story there? The better part of the story could of been with them working through their relationship while they were both being blackmailed with even more male influences being added. Here you really missed the oceanfront for the kiddy pool.

I agree with those that thought this story ended to fast. I think your a good enough writer to find a way to pick the story up again.

Agree with @annikasfury the writing is raw. And erotic. If i were to proofread this i would fix some editors but leave their voice.