All Comments on 'Cabin Trip Truth or Dare'

ZZZZZZZZ

Did you notice what category this is?

another fag cuck.

...ya, she fucked his buddy. Asshat should go fuck buddy's girlfriend....or just leave them to their own devices. Clearly whatever relationship they had is over or at the least changed forever.

I'd say he's well into Main Street cuck-ville, but they're not married, so....hey, no harm, no foul, right? It's all good. Just carry on like nothin' happened. But it did and there's more of that shit storm coming for our poor fool. Really, what asshat sends his girlfriend into bed with his construction-worker best friend with words like, "I trust you"? Huh? Asshat!

Ya, and the writing....a little news report-y, not personal enough for us to care about any of the characters. So....so what? Go find and fuck somebody else. And maybe move this to group sex or first time or some other category more suited to friends with benefits.

...but: How could he possibly do that? A few sentenses earlier, you stated:

"arrived at George's parents' cabin "

Take more care in what you´re writing...

Not really a bad start but it just stopped. Even what George was seeing outside the window didn't finish. What happened next? George should have known what was probably going to happen when Sarah did not protest sleeping with Alex. In fact why did they each have sticks and not two; one per couple? That alone should have made George say hmmm. And from Chloe's nonchalant attitude it seems as though the whole thing was planned.

Now George knows she is a slut and not to marry her.

Fuck her use her but don't marry her

Theres more, right, like confront the two of them

This isn't a LW story...None of them are married, not even engaged, just boyfriends/girlfriends with no responsabilities whatsoever...That showed by the absence of feelings his friend's girlfriend showed...But above all he should consider himself a very lucky guy...why? 1st - he found out that his supposed "best friend" was as false as Judas...2nd - At the same time he found out his girlfriend was a whore, and not a woman to be married to...Now he could use her until he get tired of her and then begin to look for a woman to marry...Maybe he could get lucky and watch as his girlfriend gets pregnat by his false friend...Then he could have a good laugh...1*

Actually, one of the worst. No emotion, drama, or suspense. Why isn't this in Erotic Couplings?

Oh, right, because it's not.

More mistakes than words and just boring. Truth or dare, really? What are you, 12? Throw in a little gay shit and you've got a real great loving wives story except there is no wife. That earns you a glorious one.

That after they had made out on the settee and he doesn't see anything wrong in that! What a moron. Then he turns into a pervert watching them have sex and doing nothing about it. Stupid story 1*

Like it was written by a 15 year old.

The last 5 paragraphs are obviously the core element of this fantasy. The author, unfortunately, has had some difficulty in setting it up. The individuals drawing straws was simply too unbelievable.

I'd keep the last 5 paragraphs, think of a more credible way of getting to that point, and then add the missing ending. Also, each of the 4 characters need to be sketched in sufficient detail as as to make their behavior credible. There are apparently two cheaters here - Alex and Sarah. Why? And what do the respective partners think about the situation?

Oh, and put the story into 'erotic encounters', if only to avoid the misogynist lunatic fringe that hangs out in the loving wives category.

you shit head moron. Besides that, the story sucks. 1*

that's all folks!!

Since the comment from "story isn't finished" is the only constructive one so far, I'll offer my thoughts. First, ignore the haters. Anything in this category that describes cheaters without some horrible punishment on the cheater will incur the haters' wrath. They say they hate your type of story but read them with great detail beginning to end. The only way to avoid them is to put your stories in a different category.

On your sex scene, it was pretty good but you should drag it out a little to build tension. Don't be in such a hurry to get the cock into the pussy.

Clearly you intend to continue the story, so you may explain a few things which are so far difficult to understand. You have Chloe reluctant to get close to George, but she's the one who sets up the bed switching. That stretches credulity. It also stretches credulity to have George and Alex as best friends but Alex being so quick to fuck his friend's girl. There needs to be some set up to make that believable, like some discussion between the guys before hand about their views on fidelity, even if it's as limited as discussing how hot each of them thing the opposite's girlfriend is. This could justify a misunderstanding on Alex's part about whether the girlfriends were fair game. And you needed to have something to hang her infidelity on, even as flimsy as her having seen George's computer browsing history on partner swapping giving her a false sense that George would be OK with it, supported with George's enthusiasm for cross-couple make out sessions in the truth or dare game.

... this story doesn't deserve any creative comment. It's just too dumb.

Mediocre sex scene. But what cracked me up? Where's a wife in the mess? You posted in the wrong category.

1 star.

.

Shut your face. Can't you every make a comment without bashing somebody?

How does this story fit into "loving wives"? There is a category for non-erotic, voyeur or erotic coupling which would be a better fit. I just skimmed through this story, since it didn't hold my interest. You really didn't think this out very well, should have read it a couple times to yourself first.

I think a lot of the comments are a little harsh. Story is ok, the ending to sudden and ending with Alex screwing Sarah (George's Girlfriend) without any more development to the story is not to swift. What happens now between George and Alex as well as Sarah. You have a lot of story left to be told, and I think you should go for chapter 2.

You know it's bad when even the asshole of lit Bonney/vasectomy aren't out in force defending it. Hey Laurel, delete this poorly written mis categorized crap.

Story was well written. More sexual build up and this story could have been longer. Or maybe a part 2 or 3? Overall, it was good.

NO FUCKING ENDING!!!

For gods sake finish the story man.

Run Forrest Run!

The premise is silly. No adult would agree to it unless they were swingers.

Great fun, sexy and exciting, I love it...