All Comments on 'Camp Lejeune'

You could have scored higher but your rewrite left out a critical part of the story, THE ENDING! Come on man, you lead your readers all this way only to leave us hanging with no ending? Might have been excusable the first time around, but why bother to rewrite it if you still don't have an ending?

If this is how you treat your readers, I will not be among them....

Just another B.T.B story that should be in Non Erotic

how anyone got this as a BTB story I have no idea. This guy seems to be a borderline cuck, he indicated she cheated before and he kept her when she denied it and she denied it again here when he knew she had cheated and he was going back to her, no way in hell!

If your only going to write 3/4 of a story at least announce it in a preface; otherwise your just merely wasting my time.

To those complaining about the lack of an ending, consider this. There can be only two possible endings. One, he ditches her. Two, he keeps her and accepts her casual infidelities until he has finally had enough. Make your choice.

I can not understand writers leaving their stories unfinished..... I think they themselves are so undecisive in their lives ..... unless they know what they are writing till the end ..they should not attempt at it... !

Life is open ended. We want resolution, but don't always get it. It's uncomfortable , but I suppose a story without resolution is sometimes the point the author wants to make. A kind of journey without a destination. Or - maybe you just didn't finish - haha. Either way, I enjoyed it. Thanks for sharing.

Unfinished stories have no place here.

I liked how well the author gradually escalated Scully's overtures. He was a player and took a chance on Ryan being either oblivious or passive. Ryan wasn't having that and Scully caught some karma . As for the lack of a definitive ending ? I'm not bothered . The bloom is off the rose . Kallie isn't indispensable as written by author. There are no kids or ineffable bond holding the sundered couple together.

The ending isn't overt, but my magic 8-ball says all signs point to Kallie and Ryan parting ways permanently. Solid read. I thank rjordan for sharing.

You wrote it, you put all the necessary info and clues in it and onlty a clueless cunt would not see divorce as the only answer for multiple cheating incidents. And the way he took care of Scully is the definition of correct. They are over and so is the story.

simply well done, 4* work.

Needed SOME sort of a conclusion.

I didn't see her confessing when he demanded the truth. Did she?

No, YOU'RE stupid for beating this dead horse. This isn't even BTB, but even if it was it's not going to Fetish, or Non-Erotic, or where ever you think it belongs.

I understand the difficulty in coming up with an ending, especially if you don't want to use the common cliches.

I've got 2 or 3 stories where my main problem is how to end them. They WON'T be submitted until I have endings for them.

.... time to go back to your closet and wait for your WHORE wife to bring home a real man so you can slurp up "another" creampie from your so called "loving wife"!

I wasn't even sure they were married until the last paragraph when he mentioned a divorce. But it's a long way between being a flirt and fucking some random guy. That was a huge, unbelievable stretch. And the thing that finished this lousy story was that it's unfinished. This felt like a JPB story when he is in "cranky" mode. Quick hitting, things happen and then BOOM! - nothing. Leave it to the readers imagination to finish the story. Well this is an example of why everybody LOVED FTDS! Because he/they finished the story. Unfinished stories just aren't worth the time spent to read them. They're unsatisfying. Can I imagine an ending? Sure. But I want to know how the author saw things ending. Then I can complain about his ending or tag it with my own ending. What is the comments section for, if not to whine about something? Well by not finishing, you deny us that option. So I choose to whine about the non-ending. Badly done Sir, badly done.

If the writer "have posted this story several years ago, but took it down for rewrite", the rewrite should have contemplated an ending...The character were his and only he knows how would they decided...2* for not having an end...

It was actually realistic, kind of, anyway. I'd guess that this kind of thing happens a lot. Leaving it unfinished allows the reader to finish it himself.

Near Camp Lejuene, any guy who gets beaten senseless by a jealous husband will get no help from the law. The law might take notice if gets killed.

The story did end. It began with them stopping at a motel. It ended when they left. There was nothing more to tell. I could have done a weekend wrap-up of the obvious, but that isn't an ending. Divorce isn't an ending--it's the beginning of something else. Reconciliation isn't an ending almost by definition.

Those who think writers here owe them something are operating under a false premise. Sorry, I don't write for the readers--that would be indistinguishable from a JOB. A non-paying job at that. Would any of you do that?

I write for myself. I post for others. For those who like this story, thanks. For those who offered criticism that didn't include a variation of "cuck", thanks. For those who didn't like it, I hope you find something else you do like. There are certainly plenty of choices.

rjordan

This asshole from the area met a coworkers wife out at a neighborhood bar, both with larger groups . As was told to me the guy was so overly nice the whole night buying her drinks and telling her stories about her hubby when they were younger. She told hubby and he said how much he hated the guy and what a sneaky dick he's always been but she said he must've grew up because he was so nice . About a month later her friends had a bacholarette party in AC and sure enough he showed up about two in the morning with all the girls very drunk . He offered to get the wife water and stayed with her another hour before talking her into walking him to his room to get some pills which she took willingly. Well he fucked her every which way possible with pics and video to prove his conquest. Her hubby got the video of her riding his dick up her ass facing the camera as they talk dirty and about hubby which the wife was avoiding that topic. He ended the video sometime the next day after fucking her ass then with his face next to it say how there is nothing like a hot married virgin ass to fuck before her hubby. He also had room service come in with breakfast while she was blowing him and had the guy watch until he came in her mouth and on her face. Later that day after the pills and drinks wore off she totally fell to pieces. Hubby saw all the stuff he sent to friends and went and put him in the hospital. Three broke ribs , nose , check bone , one arm and badly bruised balls. Some how they stayed together and dickhead was convinced to not press charges. They took his phone and went to each guy to force them to erase the stuff he sent. She was out of it in the video but willingly participated. It was the most brutal fucking I've ever seen , porn included. Not that it's right but I heard hubby fucked his wife younger sister and also dick heads mother. Crazy but if it works for them I guess they are still married with two kids and dickhead moved to Maryland. I could never have stayed with her

Nice story. Your story caught my eye cause I am a retired Navy Corpsman who did time at Camp Lejeune. I had seen so many cocksmen get their asses kicked and balls bruised. Nice story.

....except that we need more.

Ryan has to have been the faithful one for their entire marriage.

He needs to find a female 'Scully' and get busy with her for a few days, before returning to SoCal. That would be a good interval story and maybe someone here has the FTDS gene and could go where you prefer we speculate.

I like package deals. I know, I know....tough.

This is like when someone gives you a Christmas present with no more wrapping that the store bag the clerk put it in at the cash register.

I know you care.....but this is indecent.

Sorry, that's how I feel.....good stories need a beginning, a middle and an end.

In any case, thanks.

You have sharp plots and writing but fall short in the way of explaining anything.

Your stories are incredible for the storyline but are far too short and uninformative to be really good.

1*

5 stars.

Clean, economical writing. Totally believable. Absence of inept. analysis & psychologizing. No simplistic talk about vows, betrayal .... author tells an adult story and doesn't 'oversell' it. Lack of easy resolution sounds like real life to me. Good work!

Glad the Army guy kicked the sleazy Marine's ass. Leave the bitch in Jacksonville, she can make some easy money there.

Don't know what the other readers were looking at unless they're related to the writer. So this man has x-ray vision? He saw his wife running out of Scully's room from inside his? Or was he standing right outside the door when Scully offered him the beer? Another thing is he didn't give her an option. Once he made up his mind either she said yes or he was going to leave her. There was no surprise or suspense there. I must say. It was pretty well written until he came back with the motorcycle, then the author seemed to rush through just to end the story.

Several things about this story don't work. To take just one example, there's no way on earth any husband other than a worthless cuck is going to allow the flirting to go on unchallenged, and he certainly isn't going to leave her alone. The adultery and lying are also not something a husband would respond to as weakly as the author writes. No children? Any man in his right mind would be rid of her.