Campfire Confessional

I stared into the dirt as I slipped down my panties. I couldn't look Nicole in the eyes. And, well, there was my vagina. Out in the open for the world to see. I was glad I had trimmed myself recently, but I still had a lot of pubic hair. Again, I found myself concerned about what Nicole would think; about whether she'd find my awkward body attractive or not. Finally I glanced up at her.

She was beaming. "You did it!" she exclaimed. I cracked a slight smile and exhaled. "Feels good, right?"

"Yeah, actually it does," I replied.

She smiled and continued to observe my body, neither hiding her curiosity, nor making a show of it. I wanted to decipher the look on her face, but I couldn't bring myself to do it.

"Is it cold?" I asked, eyeing the pond.

"Nope, it feels great," she said, egging me on.

I hesitantly approached the water's edge and dipped my toes in. She was right, it wasn't bad. I wiggled my foot around in the water. The weight and movement of my breasts in the passing breeze reminded me to panic about other people in the area, but I couldn't see a soul anywhere around the other side of the pond. I wandered out into the cool water and then sunk down and submerged myself up to my neck, where I felt safe.

Back at the water's edge, Nicole had wrapped the towel around her head but was still nude. Under the water, I was hidden. I caressed my breasts. I secretly slipped my fingers between my legs. I marveled in the sensation of my nudity in a strange and new setting, while I watched Nicole.

I found myself imagining what it would be like to make love to her, like she had described in her fantasy. Again, I frantically tried to make sense of why these thoughts were in my head, despite my interest in guys. However, this time I told myself, "It's just Nicole. It's not like I lust after ever woman I see." Somehow I convinced myself that I could permit fantasizing about this one women, and it wouldn't be the same as fantasizing about women in general.

Once I made this commitment, I let go.

I imagined strolling out of the water like she did. Wrapping my arms around Nicole, our naked bodies pressed together. I imagined us entwined in the soft grass, mouth to mouth, breast to breast, hips to hips. I imagined her plunging her fingers inside me, and finding me as wet as she discovered herself the night before.

Nicole was watching me now, and I feared that she was in my head; that she was onto me and knew exactly what I was thinking. I told myself I didn't care. That I hoped she knew what I was thinking. She kept studying me curiously.

Finally, I quickly emerged from the water and approached Nicole, who had gotten a towel ready for me.

"Arms up," she said.

I threw them up in the air and laughed as she turned me round and round, patting my naked breasts, and the rest of my body, dry with the towel. I shivered as she made contact with every inch of my body.

"All dry," she concluded, with a wide grin, setting the towel aside.

"Thanks!" I said.

Without thinking, I gave her a hug. She didn't seem surprised. She just wrapped her arms around me, like I had imagined. We were pressed together tightly. I felt her hard nipples pressing against mine and it was electric. I didn't want to let go, I cherished that moment.

I badly wanted to kiss her. I wanted to feel those luscious lips against mine. It felt like it was about to happen. We were facing each other, suddenly, lips inches from each other. Then we were even closer.

I quickly let go. Nicole seemed taken aback, and suddenly quieted. For a moment, her usual cheerful self vanished, like she was brooding.

I shook it off. We got dressed in silence, had a quick bite to eat, and then set off on our hike like nothing had happened.

Awkward dynamic aside, the hike was beautiful. Nicole had to keep reminding me to stop for a moment and look around, to appreciate the surroundings. She was right- it was gorgeous. The views of the Hudson River and distant towns were incredible. The word that kept coming to mind was "romantic" and I wanted to be here with someone I felt really drawn to. Increasingly, I had the sense that that's exactly what was going on.

We passed through beautiful glades, over rocky outcroppings, along quiet trails, winding our way up the mountain. Finally, we reached a little grove which caused Nicole to break into a sudden bout of excitement.

"This is it!" she exclaimed.

"This is where?" I asked, dumbfounded.

"You'll see, follow me," she said, quickening her pace.

She led me down a small trail that was an offshoot of the one we'd been on. It terminated at a large boulder resting atop a slab of rock jutting out from the mountain side. The slab of rock abruptly ended, beyond which was nothing but a gorgeous vista of the Hudson River Valley below. It was easily the best overlook we'd seen yet, and Nicole knew exactly how to find it.

Nicole threw her bag down and sat on the rock, right near the edge. She looked as if she was floating in space above the world. She patted the ground next to her inviting me to take a seat. I did, and we gazed out at the endless expanse of nature with a feeling of tranquility and peace.

"It's so beautiful," I commented finally, "Do you always come here when you go camping?"

"Pretty much. It's one of my favorite spots. You can see everything from here." She turned and smiled. "Except now I get to see it with you, which is so much nicer!"

I beamed at her and said, "Thanks! Likewise."

She leaned back, and then put her arm around me. I closed my eyes in the sun and listened to the birds. I could feel Nicole's hair blowing in the breeze against me. "This is a place I never want to leave," I thought.

When I opened my eyes, I caught Nicole watching me. I knew that look. I gave it to someone once. I needed to say something to fill the void, to stop myself from returning that look.

I sat upright and leaned toward Nicole, but she must have misunderstood.

"Do you-" I started.

But it was too late. I saw her eyes close and felt her lips suddenly press against mine. My heart skipped a beat. At first I didn't resist; I felt her longing, her desperation, and I joined in momentarily. Then I pulled away suddenly.

"Uh... Nicole- I... I think you might have misunderstood..." I said, clunkily. She looked shocked.

"Oh god, I'm sorry!" she turned away, embarrassed and covering her face. "I don't know why I did that!" She couldn't look at me, and I knew that her heart was breaking. I could almost feel it cracking next to me. But so was mine.

"It's okay... um... I-"

"No, really, I can't believe I did that, I'm a total idiot," she interrupted, "Seriously, I don't want you to get the wrong idea. I totally didn't invite you here to... It doesn't matter. I'm really sorry!"

She said this in a way that revealed a certain vulnerability that I'd never seen in Nicole before. She was also so headstrong and in control. I felt bad. I caused this.

I opened my mouth but I didn't know what to say. Truthfully, I regretted stopping her from kissing me. What was the harm in that? I should have just let it happen and we'd move on like nothing happened. Or at least that's what I told myself. She gazed out at the valley below, frustrated. I practiced various lines in my head, but none of them seemed right, so we just sat there in silence.

Things were awkward for a little while. The moment passed, but I could see she was still kicking herself. I commented on everything around us, trying to keep her mind off what happened. We spent hours exploring the secret corners of the forest that she enjoyed, but I couldn't help but want to rewind everything and do it all over again without the awkwardness.

Eventually, it seemed to be well past us, and we were able to move on. We returned to the camp site as evening began to fall, started the fire up again, and began to reflect on the day.

"So... I wanted to apologize again... for what I did earlier," said Nicole, returning to the subject we had abandoned for a while.

"That's okay, it was my fault."

"What?"

"Nothing. I mean, I dunno..."

We both laughed. I felt stupid revealing my confusion around her.

"It's just that, I feel awful. Like, that you'll think I brought you here for the wrong reason. But I really didn't. I like you a lot and I don't want this to fuck anything up, you know?" she confessed.

"Yeah, I know. It won't," I reassured her, doing my best to smile, but really I felt guilty that she was upset.

She was quiet for a moment then added, "It's just that... I mean, I really like you. But whatever, I've been SOL before. So."

She looked down at the fire. I'd never seen her like this. I wondered how often she was in this position, liking a straight girl, knowing there was nothing she could do about it.

I wanted to let her know that I actually wanted to kiss her. That she did nothing wrong. I silently screamed this at her in my head. The guilt was enormous and I had to do something.

After dinner we put out the fire and returned to the tent. We stripped down to our underwear and laid down.

"Nicole?" I said.

"Yeah?"

"I'm really sorry. I think maybe I've been... sending... signals. Like, it's all my fault, not yours."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean... I like guys but, I dunno, I'm not sure about you. Wait, that didn't come out right. What I mean is, I like guys but I think I might also kinda like you the way I like guys." I groaned. "This is embarrassing."

Nicole laughed as well. "I've heard that before. My friend Nina didn't realize she was bisexual until she had her first girl crush and she freaked the fuck out when something finally happened."

It was a relief to hear that she knew someone else that had been in this situation. But was she implying that I was bisexual? Was I? I wasn't sure anymore. She sat up and faced me. I sat up as well.

"Do you want to just kiss me once and see what it feels like? I won't pressure you," she said. She was smiling again. Thank god.

"Okay," I said immediately.

We stared at each other for a few seconds, then started laughing. Finally she grew impatient and leaned forward, placing her lips on mine. I breathed in deeply, then tried to relax. There was something softer and more sensual about kissing her, compared to guys I'd made out with. I felt safe. I hadn't crossed a line. This was just a kiss, and it felt wonderful.

I felt her tongue and didn't resist. I let her feel mine. She wrapped her arms around me and I melted into her. I felt her hands through my hair, her body pressed against mine. I felt how badly she wanted me, and it was tempting.

I felt Nicole's nipples graze my chest. I realized I was trembling at their touch. I knew she was moving slowly, deliberately, so as to give me a chance to stop her if I was uncomfortable. She cradled my head and kept kissing me, while her other hand traveled down to her panties. Like an expert, she slipped them off with one hand and threw them aside, without missing a beat.

"Wait I... I'm... confused," I said, pulling away, finally letting the fear take hold.

"That makes two of us!" sighed Nicole. I smiled sheepishly, but I knew she was hurting.

Nicole threw herself back on the ground, stretching out her gorgeous body and staring up at the ceiling of our tent. I lay down beside her.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck," I repeated in my head, "I was so close, why can't I do this?!" I wanted to be with her so badly, and yet again I ruined it. I felt as if Nicole would never speak to me again after this trip. I told myself, "Every girl at some point in her life has a little moment of experimentation with her BFF. No big deal. Right? Right." But I just couldn't convince myself.

"Well shit," said Nicole after some time. I turned to the side and saw she was smirking. "If you can't do it, I'm going to have to do it myself!" I stared at her blankly as she pulled off her t-shirt.

Nicole slipped her hand down between her legs and began rubbing her fingers slowly back and forth over her clit. "Mmm..." she started.

"Seriously?" I asked, laughing. Nicole started laughing as well, then got control of herself.

"Oh god..." she said, starting to writhe. She moved her other hand along her body and then began to caress her breasts. "Oh god... Jessamyn... that feels amazing!" she moaned. "Yes, right there... don't be shy..." she said this in a sarcastic way, but was enjoying herself at the same time.

I sat upright, unable to wipe the grin off my face. Nicole was masturbating right in front of me!

"Mmm, yeah, touch me right there, baby... Yes!" She circled her clit, shivered, and jerked her hips suddenly.

I watched as Nicole gently kneaded her boobs right in front of my eyes. She spread her legs wider, opening herself with her fingers. I couldn't tear my eyes away; I'd never seen a women touching herself in person. It was so erotic. Between her legs she was so pink and wet. I couldn't contain the curiosity I had for her body.

She paused, turned to me and said, "Still don't want to join me? ... Okay, your loss!" Then she went back to rubbing her clit.

Nervously, I laid back down next to her. I kept glancing over at her hand, whipping back and forth between her legs as she moaned and repeated my name. She was torturing me. She knew she was. It was my punishment.

"Okay, fine," I thought to myself. I slowly shimmied my panties down my legs. I heard her passions increase and knew she was watching me. I kicked off my underwear and tried to calm myself.

"Oh fuck! Jessamyn!" Nicole screamed as I saw her body spasm with pleasure out of the corner of my eye. She was breathing heavily. Now, so was I.

I slowly moved my hand between my legs. I couldn't believe I was about to touch myself in front of another girl. This is something I only did in private. I closed my eyes and began rubbing my hand over my mound. Soon I was also moaning softly. I plunged my fingers inside myself, feeling my own, liquid depths. I pretended it was Nicole touching me.

"Holy cow, you're so wet!" I imagined her saying, feeling secure that it remained there in my head; that it didn't actually happen.

I continued to pleasure myself faster and faster, knowing that Nicole was right there next to me doing the same. "Oh my god!" I moaned aloud, as the thrill increased. Did I really say that? Was she listening? What was she thinking?

I opened my eyes and there was Nicole, leaning over me. I didn't even realize she was no longer masturbating.

"Don't stop," she said, softly placing her hand on my thigh.

She took a deep breath and observed me down there. My light mass of hair, my soft pink flesh, the glistening wetness accumulating on my inner thighs, just inches from her own fingers. I could smell myself, my utter arousal. I knew that she could too, and this turned me on even more. As frightened as I was at her proximity, I kept going, watching her breasts softly moving as my jerking body sent tremors up her arm to her torso.

I gazed up at her eyes, silently pleading with her to let me know it was all right, that I wasn't doing anything wrong. She moved her eyes from my pussy, to my heaving breasts, then to my eyes where they settled in a loving gaze that instantly relaxed me.

"You're so sexy," she said, smiling, "I adore your body." I gulped and nodded at her, still feeding the urgent need between my legs.

"Oh god, I can't stand it, I'm... ngh!" I cried out. She glanced down between my legs again, watching my rub my aching pussy.

"You got this babe! You're so gorgeous... come on baby, you can do it, come for me!" she said, egging me on.

I powerful spasm shot through my body as I squeezed my thighs together and doubled over, screaming in pleasure. "Ohhhh fuck!" I shouted as the waves of pleasure took hold. Then I collapsed back, breathing heavily.

Nicole was laughing. I was laughing. She threw herself on top of me and gave me a warm embrace. Our breasts pressed together and our bodies mingled as one. When she finally let go, she sat back up and looked at me with a humorous expression.

She said, "Let's consider that a preview. You know, if you change your mind."

Nicole winked and laid down next to me. I tucked my head into her neck. My gaze settled on her bosom. It was bliss. I felt safer than I had the whole trip.

And then it was suddenly morning.

"Wake up sleepyhead!" said Nicole, shaking me. I woke with a start. I realized we were both still naked. I felt the insecurity and panic coming back, but I kept it at bay. I looked up at Nicole, blinking sleepily.

"Aww... Come on, beautiful. I have another surprise planned for this morning!"

She threw her clothes on and hurried out of the tent. I fished around for my panties. I almost didn't want to put them on. I didn't want to leave. I wasn't done with her yet. But what did that even mean?

Once I was dressed, I stumbled out of the tent. Nicole already had a simple fire started and was putting together a quick breakfast. We gobbled it down quickly. My appetite was voracious.

"Come on, come on!" exclaimed Nicole as I made my way over a fallen tree in a not-so-nimble way. She kept glancing back at me with gleaming eyes, full of excitement to show me something.

After about twenty minutes, Nicole went silent. I looked up ahead and saw her standing out in the open, staring at something. I came to her side and saw what she'd led me to: a hidden pool, sparkling in the sunlight. Toward the back, a waterfall came crashing down the mountain, hitting rocks as it went, forming a cascade of frothy white.

"Oh wow," is all I could say.

"Right?"

"It looks like a postcard."

"A postcard that you can actually swim in," she replied, grinning.

"But-"

"I know, I know. What if other people show up. Trust me, I've never seen anyone else here, ever," she reassured me.

I don't know why I hesitated. I trusted her now. I grinned back at her and said, "Let's do it!"

We ran over to the water's edge, where a little sand beach had formed. We laughed in anticipation as we helped each other out of our clothes, pulling each other's shirts up and over our heads. It didn't scare me any more to take my clothes off in front of Nicole. To her delight, I confidently cast them down onto the rocks and stood proudly before her, my nude body on display without shame.

She scrambled into the water as fast as she could, causing a cacophony of splashing. I chased after her, watching her bare bottom dancing in the sunlight. It was a wonderful feeling being naked, surrounded by nature, knowing that only Nicole was present, and feeling as trusting and close to her as I did.

I stopped short and shrieked, "You didn't tell me it was this cold!"

"You'll get used to it!" she shouted back, as she waded further out.

I followed, trying to focus on the warmth of the sun beating down on my naked flesh, rather than on the icy chill rising up toward my waist. I caught up to Nicole.

"It's so cold!" I said, wrapping my arms around her as I began to shiver. I pulled her close for warmth and she held me tight. I could feel how much our breasts had firmed up in the cold.

We continued on in the direction of the waterfall. Nicole bravely vanished into the roaring mist, then remerged, drenched and laughing.

"Go under, it's great!" she exclaimed.

I closed my eyes and stood under the water. It felt good beating down on my shoulders. When I stepped back out, I found that Nicole was nowhere around. Then her arm reached forward from the swirling mist and grabbed my hand. I followed, under the torrent of water, and further.

I felt the water stop and opened my eyes.

"THIS is what I wanted to show you!" said Nicole excitedly.

I looked around in amazement. We were in a little cave behind the waterfall, illuminated by the glow of sunlight filtering through the glassy curtain of water.