Captured

"Come on, boy!" she hollered bending down like she'd seen in the movies. As the ranch came into view, she kicked his sides again and Charcoal blew by Reed and Emily. She was almost to the barn when she realized she didn't know how to stop the horse but she did remember Reed's warning not to jerk on the reigns.

Charcoal was still flying as they got to within 50 yards of the barn and Autumn began slowly pulling back and her horse gradually slowed until she got almost to the end when something startled her or Charcoal causing her pull back sharply on the reigns. He'd slowed down enough so that she didn't going flying over his head but she did get bucked forward hard enough that she had to grab his mane as her left foot came out of the stirrup followed by her right. Just as he came to a stop, she fell harmlessly to the ground as Reed and Emily came riding up.

Autumn jumped up and bowed thanking the crowd for their applause. "I didn't know you were into trick riding," Reed said as he pulled up next to her and got off brining Emily with him. "That was pretty slick."

"Can you show me how to do that trick, Autumn?" Emily asked with wide eyes.

"You okay?" Reed asked in spite of her hamming it up.

As he looked into her eyes she could see something that moved her. He was genuinely concerned that she was all right. "I'm fine," she assured him. "I guess I must have pulled too hard at the end."

"I'm glad you're okay," he told her and there it was again.

"Me, too," she said quietly as she stared back.

"Okay, let's get the saddles off these guys and let 'em get some food and water."

They spent the rest of the afternoon doing chores and getting ready for dinner. Autumn realized that life on a farm had its own rhythm just like hers in Seattle. It was just that the pace here was slower. The animals had to be fed, but if you were an hour late, they'd be fine. Someone had to prepare meals, but they didn't have to done to meet some angry customer's reservation time. What she found most telling was that there was no one pressuring her to do anything. It was all up to her. Sure, Reed let her know what needed to be done, but unlike law school, there were no hard deadlines and no relenting pressure. And then there was Emily...

After dinner they spent the evening playing Candyland and UNO even though Emily didn't understand the rules. She just liked calling out, "Uno!" whenever she thought someone else might be winning.

Once she'd finished reading stories to Emily, Autumn realized she hadn't laughed or smiled so much in one day in her entire life. She took a long, hot shower and put on a clean tee shirt and a pair of shorts. It was just after 10pm and Reed was still up. "I can't believe your not in bed yet," she said only partially teasing.

"You're making breakfast so I can afford to live on the edge," he said smiling at her.

Autumn sat down and pulled her bare legs up under her. She was looking out the window when Reed said, "Care to share what you're thinking?"

Autumn blinked and realized he was speaking. "Sorry. I was just thinking."

"I could tell. What's going on in that intellectual mind of yours?"

She looked over at him and said, "What do you think when you look at me?"

Reed leaned over and put his forearms on his thigh and asked, "What do you mean by that?"

"What's your impression of me? City girl? Selfish? Materialistic." She paused before saying quietly, "Slut?"

Reed lowered his head and shook it slowly one time back and forth. He looked up and said, "I see Autumn Daly."

"That's deflection. Please tell me what you really think. You won't hurt me feelings, I promise."

"I see Autumn Daly," he said again. "What you're seeing are symptoms of your mind having been captured by what I'll call a negative force for simplicity's sake. You exhibit those qualities because the foundation for your life is built on the wrong thing." He stood up and walked toward her. He stopped next to her and pointed to the couch. "Do you mind?"

"No, please sit down," she said turning her body toward him.

"Since you've been here...in just this short time...I've gotten glimpses of the real you. The girl inside who wants to be happy and carefree. She's a girl who cares about other people and things, not just about herself. She doesn't need money or things to make her happy. She just needs to know someone loves her. She needs someone to smile at her; to lean on her. Someone to give her life purpose and meaning. Meaning she can't find in school or in her um...side business. And that girl is Autumn Daly. The one I met in Seattle is a shell. A hologram. A fake. She's the veneer the real Autumn puts up to protect her from the cold, impersonal world she lives in and the evening job she has is something she can also do without having to feel. And she doesn't want to feel because people who feel can be hurt."

He sat there for a moment just looking at her before he said, "I know all about being hurt, Autumn. When Kim died, I thought I'd die. If it hadn't been for Emily, Lord knows what I might have done to make the pain go away."

"Reed, I'm so sorry," she told him again.

"Thank you, but don't be. The Universe isn't out to get us, Autumn. It just rolls along and does its thing without regard to human beings. It isn't mean or cruel, it just...is. And sometimes the things we perceive as being the most cruel open doors for us and those doors can lead to new opportunities. New experiences. And if we're open to it, a new way of life that can capture our minds and let us be happy rather than on an endless treadmill trying to find happiness."

"You referred to my intellectual mind a moment ago, but you're the one with the deep intellect. I just have the ability to memorize facts and regurgitate them on a test. I've never been able to sift through the various parts of my life and lay them bare the way you just did. So I'd say you're the intellectual here."

"I just try and pay attention and look at the bigger picture." He stood up and reached out his hand and said, "Can I show you something?"

She took it, stood up, and walked with him to the huge picture window. He stood behind her and put his hands on her shoulders. "That's the real world, Autumn. It's stark, it's open, and it's wondrous. It's not sitting in a cubicle or at a desk filing motions and briefs or writing code. It's caring for people and animals and nature. It's being in harmony with...all this." He pointed up to the sky which was filled with stars. "Out here, there's no ambient light from a city and the sky looks so different than it does in Seattle or New York or LA or any other cesspool of endless, mindless activity."

"Hey, I resemble that remark!" she said playfully. She reached up and put a hand on one of his and said, "But isn't what people do in a city just as important?"

"I suppose," he said. "Life has a way of getting people to do everything that needs to get done. Most of us get...or allow...life to jam us into a square hole when a nice, round one is waiting for us if we just knew how to find it. So yes, I guess pretty much everything people do anywhere is necessary at some level."

She backed up into him and as his cheek met hers he said, "Have you figured out for yourself yet that you're a round peg and that law school and escort work is a square hole?"

She exhaled deeply and said, "It's hard to admit every choice you've ever made is wrong."

"Especially when you're as smart as you are. I know. It was hard for me admit, too. I'm a fairly talented guy when it comes to writing code...or hacking..." Autumn laughed softly. "But I wasn't happy. Kim and Emily made me happy. This place makes me happy.

He put his arms around her and said, "You...make me happy."

Autumn put her arms over his as he gently squeezed her. He felt her body shake and asked, "What's wrong?"

He felt a hot tear hit his arm and went around to the front of her. He lifted up her chin and said, "Why are you crying?"

She shook her head as the tears fell. Her jaw was clenched tight and she couldn't speak. "Did I offend you? Telling you that you make me happy? If I did..."

"No," she croaked. She wiped her tears with her fingers and said, "It's not that."

He put his hands on her shoulders again and said, "Then what is it?"

She kept her head down for a very long time as the tears continued to fall. "I'm...I'm not sure I want to say." She sniffed and added, "I'm not sure I even can say it."

Reed didn't push the issue. He knew she needed time and his hope was that one week would be enough. All he said was, "Before I go to bed, there's something I want to share with you."

Autumn dried her eyes again and said, "Okay." She didn't look like the classy, elegant, self-confident escort he'd met at Seattle's best hotel. Rather, she looked like a child in need of love and understanding.

"Come here and sit back down." When they were again side by side, Reed told her, "If you put a patch over one eye for three months in some primates, they won't be able to see out it when you remove the patch. But if you then patch the other eye, the brain will re-connect those pathways and the eye will again be able to see. But keep it on for six months, and that eye will be permanently blind."

Autumn gave him a puzzled look so he reached out for her hand and said, "I don't think you've been wearing that veneer patch of yours for too long, Autumn. I'm convinced you'll be able to see again. Just don't let the return of your vision frighten you."

She was still on the edge of getting emotional, but she did manage a weak smile. "I think it already has," she told him. "But what you said made me realize fear is the wrong emotion to what I'm experiencing." She gave him her other hand, too, and said, "I'm beginning to see how shallow and how empty my life has been, but maybe even more important is learning that this...better path...as I believe you called it, is really out there."

"It is," he assured her. "And it's right in front of you, Autumn. All you have to do is get on it. You've already found it so just change paths." Reed thought his comments were accurate, but Autumn burst into tears without warning. She slid over and threw her arms around his neck and held him as she sobbed deeply. He didn't say a word. He just stroked her hair as she lay her head on his shoulder. Once her body stopped trembling he said, "Will you be okay?"

Her voice was shaky as she said, "I think so. It's just that...I know that..." She couldn't finish her sentence before falling apart again and Reed held her close and waited for her to cry it all out. She stopped crying and her arms slowly fell from his neck. Her breathing leveled out and he knew she'd fallen asleep. He gently scooped her up and carried her to her room and laid her on the bed. He pulled the top sheet and blanket over her, turned off the light, and went to bed himself.

He was awake by 5:30 and heard a loud noise in some other part of the house. He pulled on a pair of shorts and a tee shirt and walked toward it. He found Autumn in the kitchen. "Good morning," he said cheerfully.

"Did I wake you up?" she asked with genuine concern.

"I heard a bang or two but no worries."

"I was grabbing a pan to make omelets in and whacked another pan with it. Sorry. I'm not much of a cook."

"Omelets sound perfect," he told her.

"You haven't tasted mine yet," she said warning him of things to come.

She had them ready by 6:15 and Reed had gone in to get Emily who was in a good mood almost as soon as she woke up. They came into the kitchen holding hands and Emily ran over and threw her arms around Autumn's legs. "I had a bad dream," she said.

Autumn bent down and said, "Oh, my. Do you want to tell me about it?"

"It mad me sad," she said with a frown.

"What happened in your dream?"

"You went away," she said sadly. "Just like my mommy." She put her arms around Autumn's neck and said, "I don't want you to go away, Autumn. I love you so much."

Autumn pulled back and said, "I can't stay here forever, sweetie. I'm just visiting."

"Why not?" Emily wanted to know. She turned to her father and said, "Daddy, can't Autumn stay with us forever?"

Reed knelt down next to both of them and said, "That's up to Autumn, honey."

Autumn stared at Reed and blinked several times. "What do you mean it's up to me?" she asked.

He didn't answer her. He just grabbed Emily and picked her up. He looked down at Autumn who was still kneeling down and said, "I have to go into town for a few hours today. Do you mind watching Em for me?"

Autumn stood up and as she did Emily reached for her again and said, "We can play in my dollhouse and do all kinds of fun things!"

Autumn grabbed her and said, "I'd like that. Okay, sure. We'll play whatever you want, today."

After breakfast came chores and then Reed told Autumn he needed to take care of his errands and let her know he'd be back sometime after noon. "Just in time for lunch," he said letting her know she wasn't off the hook with breakfast.

"I hope you like PB&J as much as Emily," she told him.

"I LOVE p'butter and jelly!" Emily said. "I could eat it every day. Just like mac and cheese for dinner!"

"I guess I know what I'm making for dinner tonight, too," she added.

They went outside and waved goodbye as Reed took one of his trucks into the 'big city' then went inside to play.

Autumn spent the next two hours playing in (almost literally) Emily's near-life-sized dollhouse. Emily could actually crawl inside and move things around. She had names for all of the dolls she called her 'people' as well as faux pets and furniture. They arranged and rearranged until Autumn told her they had to go get started on lunch.

"I wanna make my own sandwich!" Emily said proudly grabbing Autumn's finger as they headed to the kitchen.

Within fifteen minutes, they had the sandwiches made, cut diagonally, along with an apple for each of them. Right on schedule, Reed pulled in and carried a few bags inside with him.

After a lunch in which Emily did 90% of the talking about the dollhouse, Reed laid her down for her nap. "She'll be too big for naps in a year or so," he said almost forlornly. "She's growing up so fast."

"Her mother would be so proud," Autumn said as they sat down on the couch together again. She turned toward him and said, "I think I'm ready to talk now."

"Okay. Shoot," he said not exactly sure what she had in mind.

"This morning I got so emotional because it hit me that I've found this better path."

"And that made you cry?" he asked.

Autumn shook her head and said, "Not that. Not the finding it part." She blinked a few times and said, "Okay, I'm not gonna cry again." She looked at Reed and told him, "What hurt so bad was knowing that if I get on this path, I can't stay on it."

"Why not?" he asked. He was now sure where she was going. He just wanted to hear her say it.

"Because...because I have to leave in a couple of days."

"You do?" he asked.

"Yeah. The deal was seven days, right? And I need to get back to Seattle and..."

"Why?" he said interrupting her. "Why do you need to get back to Seattle when everything you want is right here?"

Autumn's eyebrows were raised high as she said, "What did you say?"

"I don't want you to go back," he told her directly.

Her eyes were blinking rapidly and she could feel her heart beating even faster. "But if I stay..."

"If you stay here, you stay on the new path; the path you know is right for you." He slid closer to her and said, "I've just been waiting for you to realize this quieter, simpler life has captured your mind, and if I'm right—and I'm almost always right," he said smiling, "it's also captured your heart."

"But what about law school and..."

"You have no real interest in being a lawyer, Autumn. Even I know that. And we both know your side job leaves you lonely and empty."

"Hollow," she said ever-so quietly while looking down.

"But if you stay here..." He waited for her to look up. "You have two people who love and who want you to spend the rest of your life with them."

Her eyes opened wider than he'd ever seen before. "Reed? What are you saying?" she asked with a sound of hopeful desperation in her voice.

He put his arm around her and touched her cheek with his hands. "I'm saying Emily loves you, Autumn. And...and that...I'm in love with you."

"You're what?" she said almost too quietly to be heard. Her eyes were moving so rapidly between his he thought they might 'burn out.'

He managed not to smile as he told her again, "Autumn, I'm love with you and I don't want you to leave. Stay here with me. With us."

He saw tears welling up in her eyes again. When she spoke her voice was very weak. "Do you really mean that, Reed?"

He didn't answer her. He leaned over and kissed her softly on the lips. "Yes. I really mean that."

"Oh, my God," she said softly. "I...I love you, too."

"So will you stay?" he asked brushing her long hair back off of her face.

"Yes," she said, her voice choked with emotion. "I'll stay as long as you want me."

That evening, just before bed, Reed said to Emily, "Do you have something for Autumn, honey?"

"Yes! I do," she said. She ran off kicking her feet up high in back with each step. She came back less than a minute later holding her hands behind her back.

Autumn could see the big Stetson she was carrying. Reed handed it to Autumn and said, "I noticed you lost the first one I gave you." She put it on her head and thanked them both for it.

Reed then brought Emily right in front of Autumn who was sitting on the sofa. "Autumn? I told you that staying was up to you when Emily told you she wanted you to stay. Today I told you I wanted you to stay, and you said you'd stay as long as I want you to."

He knelt down on one knee next to Emily in front of Autumn and nodded to his daughter. She pulled a blue velvet box out from behind her back and opened it before handing it to her daddy. "Autumn?" he began as he held it up to her. "We have something we want to ask you."

Emily had her little hands behind her back again and she looked like the sweetest, most precious thing Autumn had ever seen. "Autumn? Would you be my mommy?"

Autumn was shaking as her hands went over her mouth. Before she could answer Emily Reed asked, "Autumn Daly? Will you be my wife? Will you marry me?"

Her hands were trembling and she was again crying as she said, "Yes, Emily. I would love to be your mommy and yes, Reed Harding, I will marry you!"

He waited for Emily to help as they slid the huge, five-carat ring onto her finger. Reed sat the box down as she and Emily put their arms around Autumn. "We love you, Autumn," Emily said with the sweet sincerity of a child.

"I love you both, too, honey," she said fighting through her tears. She looked at Reed and said, "I was so afraid to let myself feel what I was feeling. The thought of having to leave after falling in love with you...both of you...and with this place and with this life was the worst feeling I've ever experienced. I couldn't even bear to..."

"Shhh," he said putting a finger to his lips. "You don't have to leave us or this place—ever. I'm just so glad fate brought us together."

Autumn managed a real smile as she said, "It's ironic isn't it, that the life I chose to avoid having to feel anything led me the life I've always dreamed of but never believed was meant for me?"

"It is meant for you, Autumn, and you deserve to happy." He kissed her and said, "You make me happy."

"Me, too!" Emily said as she kissed Autumn on the mouth.

"And you make me very happy!" she said to Emily touching her nose playfully with her finger. "Come here, sweet pea!" she said as she pulled her onto her lap and hugged her hard. "I love you so much!"

Emily looked up at her and said, "And you love my daddy, too, right?"