Carrying On Ch. 03

"What do you mean I abandoned you?" Tyler asked quietly. I could tell that hit him hard, his close friend accusing him of ditching his brothers in arms was not the welcoming he had expected.

"You know we plan on deploying again soon, and you chose to get out rather than stick with us. Men were counting on you to lead them, now you've chosen a civilian life over us."

"I had to do what was best for me."

"Exactly," Ryan said with venom. "Semper I, fuck the other guy, right?"

Tyler turned to head back inside, stopping briefly before opening the door. "One day, you'll understand why I made the choice I did. You're starting to already, but you still have a ways to go."

Ryan sat there on the porch, head in his hands, trying to make sense of what had happened. I know that look, I've done it myself. It's the look of a man who just fucked up and doesn't know how to fix it. I said nothing, just sat there and lit up another smoke, being there when or if he wanted to talk.

Tyler brought out more drinks for us, setting them on the table and leaving without a word. Ryan cried when he left, keeping it as quiet as he could and doing a better job than I would have. Lauren came out and relieved me after a bit, letting me fill her in on what was wrong. She sat in his lap as I headed inside.

I refilled my drink and gave Becky a kiss, whispering how much I love her and how much she means to me. She kissed me again, with a bit more passion. Tyler gave a whistle, making Becky turn slightly red and start giggling. I held her close for a minute until Carl called from the back door that he needed help bringing the ribs in.

Ryan and Lauren were back by the time we had brought the food in, looking much happier than when I left. We had a good dinner, then decided to head to Smokey's for liquid dessert. Jeffery was less than thrilled, but one vote against our majority was insignificant. Besides, he could always stay home.

Carl drove my truck, Lauren drove her car and Jeanna drove her car, so we could all ride comfortably. Tyler had been pregaming, so he was well on his way to being hammered, which always made for a good time. Ryan had slowed down his drinking since the incident on the porch and was committed to beer for the night. Jeffery tried to order wine, but Tyler was having none of that.

"Tyler, for the love of God, just get me a glass of Merlot!" Jeffery yelled over the music.

"No can do Jeff," Tyler replied with a smile. "Whiskey, rum or beer are your options tonight."

"I don't drink hard alcohol!"

"Then beer it is!"

"No damnit, I want my wine!" Jeffery was getting angry at this point, though it was useless. Tyler couldn't care less about what Jeffery wanted, only that he got wasted.

"Well Jeff, you'll have to get it yourself, but be warned, if you drink wine I will forever question your sexual preference and probably your manhood."

"Just to let you know," I yelled, "he will. Forever."

"I'll even buy your drinks, all night. Come on, live a little. Your wife is!" Tyler motioned to where Samantha was talking with Carl, a drink that clearly wasn't wine or beer in her hand.

Jeffery hung his head, knowing he lost the battle, but obviously not willing to admit defeat. "If you're buying, I'll drink it."

Tyler nudged me with his elbow, flashing a smile that said "I will do great and terrible things with this new power!" He headed off to the bar, knowing what I was drinking without even having to ask. I talked with Jeffery about Samantha until Tyler came back with three whiskey sours, handing them out with a devilish grin. I had some idea what was coming, but when it happened it was more amazing than I thought.

"To wives and girlfriends," Tyler said, holding up his glass, "may they never meet!" We laughed and drank, Tyler and I taking big swigs, while Jeffery barely sipped it. Tyler wasn't having any of that though. "Awh hell son, just man up and take a drink already!"

Jeffery took quite the drink, and I was impressed for all of two seconds. He swallowed it and began to cough like hell, causing Tyler and I to burst out with laughter. It took him a minute to compose himself and if looks could kill, Tyler would have dropped right then and there.

"What did you put in here?" Jeffery asked incredulously. He was steaming mad.

"It's extra strong, just like you like it," He replied before laughing some more. Jeffery looked like he was gonna flip the table soon so I switched with him.

"What the hell man, I got that for him," Tyler said as I swapped drinks with Jeffery.

"Need to start the poor guy off slow. One should be enough to get him hammered without it being a double."

Carl came to join us and went with Tyler to get our second round. The girls dropped by long enough to hug and kiss us before heading to the dance floor, dragging Tyler and Ryan with them. I had a chance to talk with Jeffery while they were gone.

"So how are you and Samantha doing?" I asked. His face changed to concern for a moment, but then resumed its usual mask of emotion.

"Fine, why do you ask?"

"Doesn't it seem strange that she's flirting with guys that aren't you?"

"I'm sorry, I don't follow."

"She flirts with me all the time. Right now she's flirting with Tyler and later she will flirt with me again before I send her off to bed. She should be all over you, not everyone else."

"I might have been neglecting her... womanly needs a bit," Jeffery said almost shamefully. "It's not that I don't love her, she just isn't the same as she was all those years ago."

"Look man, I know I'm young enough to be your son, but I've seen the way she looks when she talks about you. She still thinks you're still that guy she fell in love with all those years ago. She may not say it out loud, but her eyes say more than she's willing to verbalize."

Jeffery thought for a minute, seemingly lost in memories. He smiled and threw back the rest of his drink, motioning me to finish mine. I did and went to get more drinks for Tyler, Jeffery and I. Jeffery laughed when I got back.

"What's so funny?" I asked, smiling at him.

"You brought Tyler one and he's now one drink behind." Jeffery was getting pretty buzzed, it was time to call out Tyler.

I asked a passing waitress for her pen cap. She gave it to me, looking confused, but didn't say anything. I threw it at Tyler, hitting him in the back of the head, thank the Gods he was close enough to the table.

He came over and was about to say something before I held up my hand. "Drink," I said, pointing to his now two drinks. "If you don't, Jeffery will finish them, and you'll be two drinks behind."

"Are you calling my shit?!" He asked in mock consternation.

"Yes, now drink up." To his credit, he threw those two drinks back in quick succession. He didn't look so good afterwards, but he wasn't about to be called out in front of Jeffery.

Jeffery looked at us in shock, his eyes the size of dinner plates at Tyler's feat. "Damn," he said. Tyler headed back to the dance floor to dance with Becky while we continued talking.

When we got done discussing his lack of a love life and what it was doing to his wife, he laughed and asked, "How old are you?"

"Old enough to know better, but still too young to care."

Tyler returned with Samantha after the song ended, heading to the bar when he saw his two empty glasses. Samantha sat on Jeffery's lap and started giggling when she saw what he was drinking. It made me smile to see him wrap his wife in his arms and hold her close. Tyler returned with three drinks for us and one for Samantha, setting them down and relaxing in his chair. Becky, Lauren and Ryan came to join us with Lauren sitting on Ryan's lap and Becky coming over to me.

She kissed me and whispered in my ear, "Lauren is going with Ryan tonight, we will have the bed to ourselves."

She smiled, bit my ear lightly and moved away, sitting on Tyler's lap. I knew what she was doing, but Jeffery was taken aback, his jaw nearly hitting the floor.

"Aren't you gonna do anything about that?" He asked, leaning over to keep our conversation as private as possible.

"Nope, I don't have to."

"What? Why not?"

I had forgotten, probably due to my current state of inebriation, that Jeff didn't know about Tyler and I. I looked at Tyler and smiled before asking across the table, "Tyler, do I need to be worried that she's sitting on your lap?"

"Not at all Staff Sergeant," he replied with a hint of jealousy.

"Good, remember that I've killed men for less." Jeffery was almost in shock, though I'm not sure whether it's because I trust Tyler with my fiance or that I've killed men for less.

I had to ask. "What's up there Jeffery? Besides you I mean."

"You've really killed men for less?"

"Sure," I said, looking at Tyler. "Tell him about that time in Kandahar, when Jenkins got pulled away from the column and dragged down the alley."

Tyler went on to regale them with a tale of fear when one of our guys wasn't watching the rear of our marching formation and was hit over the head and dragged down an alley. I had run back and dealt with the aftermath, but it was a terrible price to pay. Life would never be the same for Jenkins, but I took the lives of his attackers. I took another sip of my drink and I felt it coming, the familiar feeling of a blanket rolling over my mind.

It started with Jenkins, but it didn't end there. I felt my body temperature increase as I thought of the letter home I had to write to his mother, the tears that they would bring, knowing their son wasn't coming home. I slammed back the rest of my drink and let the memories flow, as if I had any other choice.

The hot desert wind whipped at my face, making me thankful I had goggles on. As much as I hated riding in the Humvees it did feel good to stretch, and for once I didn't hate the idea of setting up a vehicle checkpoint. Lance Corporal Westbrook, ever alert, was shooting the shit with Doc Johnson while PFC Adams manned the turret. Things had been quiet all day, except for Adams constant bitching about everything from the heat to the food. The radio crackled to life and the order came to move out. I rounded everyone up and we were ready to move with the convoy, falling in as second to last vehicle.

We kept our 200 yard spacing at about 45 MPH as we headed towards a dry wash, the road crossing over a culvert. Something felt wrong, dreadfully wrong. I heard a far off voice shout something about wires, but I couldn't figure it out. In a rush of hot air and a deafening roar, we were thrown forward, the windshield shattering and men screaming.

--- Becky ---

I was enjoying the stories Tyler told, he moved from sad tales of war to better ones of him, Andrew and Ryan chasing women or getting thrown out of bars. It was fun hearing of my man in his younger, wilder days and it was nice to know he wasn't that man anymore. I looked over at him and smiled, but he didn't smile back.

I noticed his drink was empty so I grabbed mom to help me carry drinks back. The error I made was asking a drunk woman to help me carry more drinks. She almost spilled three of them on the way back to the table. We set drinks down in front of everyone, saving Andrew for last.

I was gonna sit with him for a bit, but when I set his drink down, he didn't even acknowledge me. He was mumbling something about packing up shit to move out. I thought back to where I've seen this before, then it hit me. He's in the middle of a flashback.

Suddenly I was very worried. I went to Carl for advice, standing behind him and speaking into his ear. "Andrew's having a flashback, what do I do?"

Carl looked at me quizzically, then looked across the table to Andrew, then back to me. "Just go sit by him, hold his hand and be ready for when he comes out of it."

I did exactly that. I pulled up a chair next to him and held his hand, gently stroking it with mine and waited. It seemed like forever, waiting to see the man I love come back to the present. I wondered where he was, what was going on. His lips were moving, but it was too loud to hear, so I scooted closer.

"Adams, watch that culvert," Andrew whispered. "Maintain your field of fire, but be ready. They like to hide in culverts."

Adams, where had I heard that name before? It sounded familiar, yet I couldn't place it. I listened closer for any more details.

"Wires, I see wires. IED, IED!"

His hand started trembling, knocking his glass against the table. It was loud enough to get Tyler and Ryan to pay attention.

"Everything ok?" Ryan asked me.

"He's having a flashback. He'll be ok, he just needs time," I told him with more confidence than I felt. This hadn't happened in a while and I was as lost as I could be.

"Does this happen often?" Ryan asked, worry evident in his voice.

"Hasn't happened in a while."

"What triggers it?"

"I haven't the slightest idea."

Tyler went back to telling stories, with Carl correcting details where he could. I listened to some, slowly rubbing my fingers on his hand to let him know that I was there. It wasn't long before I heard Andrew draw a deep breath and take my hand in his.

"Welcome back," I said, kissing his cheek. "You ok?"

"Yeah, just flashbacks. Did I miss anything?" He asked.

"Just Tyler making an ass of himself."

"You know, those last five words were totally unnecessary."

"I heard that!" Tyler said, flashing a smile. "Welcome back."

"Glad to be back," Andrew said. "I'm gonna step outside for a minute, anyone care to join me?"

Tyler and my mother rose to join him, leaving us to our own devises.

--- Andrew ---

There are times, as a smoker, that you want a cigarette, and times you need one. After that, I needed one. Tyler and Samantha joined me, and I was happy to have them. We passed the pool tables and saw Winston shooting pool with some of the regulars. It was only after I looked twice that I realized he was teaching them, not just playing.

The crisp night air was just what I needed. We lit our smokes and stood there in silence for a minute, nobody knowing quite what to say. Samantha was the first to break it.

"You ok?" She asked with a hand on my shoulder.

"Yeah, I'll be fine. Sorry if I gave y'all a scare."

"Where'd you go?" Tyler asked.

"Iraq. When I was hit with the IED."

Everyone went silent for a bit. We put out our cigarettes out and lit another, talking of anything mundane and just enjoying each other's company. As we finished our second smokes, Ryan came out and joined us.

"Hey Drew, can we take a walk?" He asked. I nodded and told Tyler and Samantha we'd catch up with them in a bit.

We headed down the back alley, well out of earshot of anyone who wasn't looking for us. I could tell Ryan had something on his mind and it was hard for him to get it out.

"What's up?" I asked, hoping it would start us off. When he didn't reply I tried a different angle. "Look, you can tell me what's bothering you. I'm here to help, but I can't do that if you don't talk to me."

"I'm gonna break up with Lauren," he said softly. "I've decided to make the Corps a career and I don't wanna drag hr through the mud with me."

"Well, that's total bullshit," I replied. I couldn't see him well in the darkness, but I could feel his piercing gaze.

"Ok, thanks for the talk," he said, but I wasn't done.

"Ryan, I'm sorry, that came out wrong. What I mean is that she won't see it as being dragged through the mud. She loves the dogshit out of you and would gladly go with you wherever she could. What's the real reason?"

"I don't think we're right for each other. She's such a good person, untainted by the world and I'm not the same man she fell in love with." He explained it well, but I wasn't convinced.

"There's another woman, isn't there?" His lack of immediate response told me more than I suspected. "I won't say anything if you don't want me to."

"Yeah. Don't get me wrong, I love Lauren. She will always have a place in my heart, but this distance is killing me. Danni, the other woman, is in Oceanside. I can see her whenever I want. I feel terrible about all this, but I can't let us both go on like this."

Boy, this hurt. I had a feeling, but I'd hoped I was wrong. Looks like the devil dog was in him the whole time, just waiting to be set free. Honestly, I'd probably make the same choice if I were in his position.

"Look man, I'm sorry it isn't gonna work out. Who knows, maybe you two will get back together some day." He smiled at that, his first honest one in a while.

"Maybe. It's not like I can't find her again, so long as I don't lose your number."

"I'll make sure you have it, but keep me posted if yours changes. So what are you gonna tell her?"

"That I can't do this long distance thing anymore. Plus we're deploying again soon, so I'd rather not have her worrying."

It was my turn to laugh. "She'll still worry, just not as much. When do you leave?"

"March."

"Ok, well we can be there to see you off if you want. I'll probably see you in January but it'll be as an instructor."

"Huh?" He was thoroughly confused.

"Part of the deal to get your leave approved. I've gotta teach a class in January for Captain Varren."

He smiled and nodded. "Well, it'll be good to have you back with us for a while. Shall we go back inside?"

The rest of the night was pretty smooth. I'd stopped drinking after my little incident, so I drove my truck home. Jeanna followed me and Lauren took Ryan to his hotel room. Tyler went home with some girl he met, making me promise to come get him in the morning.

Jeffery seemed to have found a new favorite drink. The whiskey sours did wonders for his sex drive, too bad it's called whiskey dick for a reason. Oh well, he'll figure it out. Becky was drawing little hearts on my hand the whole way home, letting me know just what was coming tonight.

As usual these past few nights, everyone went inside, leaving Samantha and I to our cigarettes. She was all smiles as we enjoyed the bitter cold of the night.

"Thank you," she said after a bit.

"For what?" I asked.

"For helping me with Jeffery. I don't know what you said, but it worked."

"I noticed. He couldn't keep his hands to himself the entire ride back. Make sure to let him sober up some before trying anything... intimate." She gave me a confused look. "He's been drinking whiskey all night. Sometimes things just don't work like they should when you're loaded on whiskey."

We shared a laugh and finished our cigarettes and headed inside, stopping in the kitchen to get water for us and our significant others. Samantha thanked me with a hug and headed to Lauren's room, leaving me to head to my room, and the love of my life.

Becky was anxiously awaiting my return, still dressed as she was at the bar. She sat at the edge of the bed, brushing her beautiful brown hair. She looked at me with what seemed like indifference, but I knew her better than that. She moved to her side of the bed, bending over at the waist to put her brush in the drawer of her nightstand, revealing her glorious ass. I couldn't see if she had any panties on, but I assumed not.

"See something you like?" She asked, wiggling her ass knowingly.

"I do actually," I responded. "I'd very much like to read that book on your nightstand when you're done." A pillow came flying at my face.

She sauntered over, swinging her hips until we were face to face. She pulled me in for a passionate kiss, letting all the troubles of the world melt away. She slowly undid the buttons on my shirt, helping me get it off my shoulders. She kept kissing me as I pulled the zipper gently down the back of her dress, moving the straps off her shoulders and letting it fall to the floor.

"No panties?" I asked. She gave me a look of "oops" and a smile. "Naughty girl," I said as I lifted her up and laid her on the bed.