All Comments on 'Castaway'

The story that is just like this was longer. With the island also being bought by the husband. same crash boat, same dominate asshole group.

As already pointed out very like StarStangs story

This story just arises one question: Why didn't he drowned the 3 of them instead of killing them as he did? It would be so simple to explain all the deaths as casualties of the hurricane...All of them would have died from the same...No need to explain the deaths of their shipmates...The other problem with this story is the mental state of the wife after all that happened...But that needed a longer story than this short one...2*

Violence is never the answer not even in a story.How anyone could like a story like this just shows the person you are.SICK.

Get an editor. To show all the errors I would have to practically put the whole story in the comments.

None of the bodies showed abuse? What about the one he hit with a shovel?

Upgraded a star because he wasn't a willing cuck, and fought back.

when you do a story like this. its best to not let the bodys be found. better to just say the storm or something got them. yes killing sometimes sends a message. ((dont do it))

He did it. No one around to tell Tales. Personally . I would have Thrown her ass in the Gulf. Put some Rocks on her Feel and Wrists. and found a New wife.

I was going to only give 4* until Anon said violence is never the answer. Anon will someday be a victim and come to a different decision at that time but it will be too late. It really was Charlie or them. They were slowing starving him to death. They would have all died eventually since the one who had built the shelter and knew anything about survival was tied up and starving. Hedonistic sex day after day and night after night requires a lot of protein to maintain.

If wife willingly had sex with three men in front of husband and not even help him escape. Why would he want to be with her.

You have your protagonist beat in one cousin's face, and smash another one over the head with a shovel, and a forensic pathologist says they looked like all they suffered from was malnutrition?

That just about sums up the moronic 'plot' of this implausible 'story'.

The guys he killed "only showing signs of malnutrition"??? Along with over a week of decomposition; as well as, 1 had been brained/clubbed over the head w/shovel and 1 had been in essence suffocated (would show discoloration in skin)?

Not to mention (as another commenter had mentioned) who in their right mind would trust a spouse like that?: willingly have sex with others in front of you and not helping you escape? Logically, as she betrayed him so severely; there would just be another body (or lack thereof; fed to sharks); unless, there was little to no chance of ever being rescued, one needs some companionship to avoid going crazy after all...

To many unanswered questions. The bodies had trauma from the shovel. The wife gave herself willingly.makes her a whore. Why keep Her he could have taken them out to sea. He gambled she would not tell. Why keep her .

Its not your profession!!!

Regardless what the BTB crowd says, this isn’t a bad story. Yes, it has a lot of flaws, not the least of which is using the wrong word that sounds almost like the one you needed. (except vs accept; there vs their; and bare vs bear) anyway, you get the idea. Also a careful proofread aloud would show up other failings.

As far as the plot weakness others pointed out, they are mostly right, except the liberal who thinks violence is never the answer. That’s so stupid his head should hurt. In this story, as you have written it, violence is the only answer. Charles was being held captive and barely kept from starving—what does our liberal friend think would have happened when the food ran out? The other spoiled brats were too lazy to find anything to eat, so you can bet good ole Charlie would be the first to go. Had he escaped and stayed out of their clutches, those rich asses would have made up a story that would have put him away for life.

Those who fault the wife for her actions live in an alternate universe. Becky had two choices, fuck the guys willingly, or be raped repeatedly. The end result would be the same except she chose the less painful way. Those of you who think she had a choice, talk with some guys who’ve been in prison and met Bubba. Becky had the same choice they had.

Others will disagree, but I enjoyed this story even with all its faults. Finally I find a writer with my sense of justice. Thanks. Since it’s a first try and is better than almost all first stories, I gave you a 5!

IF IT WAS YOUR THIRD OR FORTH, I'D CALL IT A 3.

300 acres and 500 cattle. Sell cattle and he's left with 300 acres and 2.5 million in the bank. What kind of cows sell for 5000 each?

So I skipped to the comments. It seems I saved myself a lot of time.

I should do this more often as there is some dross on this site these days.

Only one BTB comment thus far and it really can't meet the standard of BTB.

Your lack of credibility is showing. Did you work on the Hillary campaign or are you writing Trump's tweets. All nonsensical.

The dreamer is perhaps the least credible commentator on here. A racist bastard who enjoys rape stories, complimenting a multiple murder story, writing on a porn site of his cuckolding fetish, while claiming to be a "christian conservative."

If he's too stupid to know how ridiculously clownish that is, he should be left in peace. The mentally challenged deserve pity.

but no closure, TK U MLJ LV NV

This was terrible.

The spelling alone is awful and

distracting.

Hope this author improves or uses

a spell-checker AND proof reader.

Your spelling is terrible. The plot simplistic and not well thought out.

An editor would give up in a second after reading this. Too much to fix.

2*

Her attitude towards his rejection of her pity hand job gives the lie to her being anything but a willing participant to what the rich turds were doing.

have you ever heard of life insurance? He didn't say all the money came from the cattle. You just assumed that.

Spellcheck would catch some of the errors, but others are the wrong word spelled correctly.

The plot makes the story beyond help, a good basic idea for a story can be rewritten but a bad story should just be deleted.

Total logic failure.

It isn't long enough for the writer to forget reasonably so many major details.

In fact, you are a prime example. Spell checking programs won't help when the spelling is correct, but the wrong word is used. For example, you wrote through when you meant threw. One only bares children when bathing or changing them. You wanted bears, another word entirely with a wholly different meaning. I'd like to think that proofreading would help, but I suspect that you really thought the term you used was correct. This reads like a first draft, not a finished product. If you want to writ for this or any other site I suggest you use an editor to help you. It is discouraging to get so many negative comments, but that is the price to be paid for sloppy work. You can always try again, but take your time. Read through the story several times to flesh out the plot, and use an editor. There are several good ones here who will be happy to help you.

Not just no but fuck no! Killing her would have been too good. He should have left her with the dead trash, marooned and with plenty of time on her hands to question her life choices.

Lord of the Flies grown up style!

A little out there but still entertaining. Thanks for sharing.

There is no statute of limitations on murder, so with enough money, forensic work, and her testimony she might be able to have him convicted of murder. How do you kill someone with a shovel and make it look like malnutrition? And he's worried about her fucking around? She must be living in fear of him, and the first chance she has to escape I would expect her to try. Why not? Especially if she comes from money. One day he comes home, finds the divorce papers, and her gone. The reason for the divorce will be mental cruelty and fear for her life, even if she can't prove he killed the guys. What's he gonna do? If he had just drowned her he would have much fewer risks and complications. Made no sense to keep her.

So not a bad story, just not a very well crafted one. But thanks for trying.

I liked that he killed the assholes who were screwing his wife. In fiction I'm allowed. But why he stayed with her is beyond me. So no consequences for her. Oh well.

no rating

The story was so hilariously idiotic, it didn't matter what happened to the wife, the hero, or the wife's lovers. It actually started out well, in the first two or so paragraphs; and then it just went straight gibberish in plotting, characterization, story line, monologue, etc.

The only forgivable part about it is that the author admitted this was his first attempt at writing.

But as TwoCrowe said, this is a very short synopsis (not really a "story"). As such, you shouldn't have that much problems with basic logic, events, time line, how long one could survive being tied on a remote island, especially with constant beating and little or no food, etc.

Suggestion:

Watch a few good episodes of SURVIVOR, that stupidly funny reality TV show and see how much you lose both fats and muscles after a few weeks time on a remote island, with little to no food... when you lose a lot of fats and muscles, you also become very weak, with hardly the energy to plane and do all those SEALS activities your hero's doing, against those three guys who're in better shape, being free to find foods, being able to fuck the little wifey, etc.

Anyway, in light of that, things like bear versus bare... through versus threw, etc. are not even that big of a deal. The premise of your "story" is too silly awful.

Now if I could find some fresh parsley, rosemary, and thyme.

Have a great week.

They well illustrated your lack of basic spelling and grammar skills. So I gave up.

Pathetic this idiot took the whore back when he should have left her there buried on the island with the rest of her fuck buddies.

Maybe if she was loving to Charlie when he was tied up and she was only having sex to keep herself and Charlie alive, I could understand taking her back!

But that was not the case, she was a fucking bitch to him! I would be want her back? Yea I just don't agree! When I had finished getting rid of turd and his two cousins, I would have gone off and built another shelter, leaving her to survive, or not, on her own!

How the hell did this story get a 3?

He should have cast HER away the second he got home. She will never be able to explain, and his kids probably aren't his....

The desert island is a cool imaginary place where anything can happen. You made it happen so quickly though that the reader never gets invested. Add some dialogue and look at the inconsistancies. Appreciate your effort. Keep writing.

I do not understand why they let him live. Since they did all is on him. It is not obvious

why he did not divorce his wife, but then she would have gotten a lot of money from him. The death by malnutrition is unbelievable.

Lots of errors in the story. Editing or at least some sort of Beta reading to spot such obvious errors would help. The story was an avalanche moving at high speed from start to finish with little detail just a blur. How about trying the lazy river approach and let us learn some things about the people and how they arrived at this juncture.

Enjoyed your story, thanks for submitting.

I see you've ran into the "Loving Wives Welcoming Committee". Their job appear to be making sure that no one ever posts another story, not sure why. I think it reminds them of the wife that ran off and left them, taking half of the community property.

sorry to say it but this would benefit from help in writing to make it more realistic.

absurd cuck shit.

i am that you had to read jack99 comments he is just another retard that ruins this site for everyone except for his sick friends who think it alright to murder three people over a pig oh by the way i couldn't rate it any lower then a 1.

I would have liked something in the story to make the wife better.

She went along with it. So hard to see him forgive as written.

Still a nice read.

1*

Story line was ok but lacked a lot in the ending.

. . . and sometimes they don't. Life and stories have some similarity. This was a story that did not work at all.

Just my opinion, try again.

But why not burn the wife also?

Is English your second language or did you sleep through ALL the English and writing classes in school?

Sometimes violence is justified . In this case it was necessary. Fight for the woman.

Needs fleshed out.

Definitely needs editing.

Needs to be believable overall.

Loved the plot but it fell way short at the end.

P.S. Ignore the anons that just bitch. It's the only way they can feel big. SDS syndrome I guess.

But he kept the slut wife. WTF? You may have to change your name to dragonwomann00!

Circumference = pi x diameter Your small "trees" were one inch in circumference.

1" = 3.14 x d

1/3.14 = d

d = .318"

Your trees were almost but not quite 1/3" in diameter.

Threw not through

Feces not fesess

Lie not lye. Lye would have burned their asses badly

Start a family with the slut? NO man would do that.

How the hell did that happen? Charlie doesn’t sound like a forgive and forget kind of guy. He eliminated the three assholes that took his willing wife but kept her? She doesn’t love him; she’s scared shitless of him.

You almost lost me with your introduction sentence: its signers not singers unless you get your critiques from Western Union. This was the first word error I saw, Anonymous 12/15/18 pointed out several othersbut I did read the rest of the story and while it needs character development. Spell check is an easy way to catch many errors but check for synonyms to see if you’re using the correct suggested correction.

Why keep a cheating slut wife? It wasn’t her idea but she was ok with it

How could hubby ever believe she had love for him or could be trusted?

When she said, "...your loss." that would be the end of it.

We see a story where the cuckold extracts revenge. Wife got off too easy, though.

Reminds me of the scenes in the movie AIRPLANE where being compelled to listen to the biography of the "protagonist" drives everyone to suicide.

The author forgets that Literotica is a porn site that features erotic stories, not Walter Mitty's fantasies of revenge.

One star. and that is generous. Poor plot, unlikely scenarios and as to reconciliation ... .... forget it !

Why stay together? I agree with Just Words. It was over when she said your loss

She fucks her pals while hes tied up sitting in his own shit made to watch. Then he murders her pals in cold blood, terrorizes her for weeks then gives her a bath and everything is fine and they lived happily ever after? And what sbout the blunt forced shovel wound on DeadCuz too? Did the coroner think a stove in head is a symptom of malnutrition?

PUHLEEZE.

Over the years I've likely read thousands of Literotica stories, with an emphasis on Loving Wives.

After reading this story, I thought: that's worth 5 stars just for being something different.

By different I have in mind the shipwreck and survivor scenario combined with him dealing with/doing in his enemies who deal so treacherosly with him in return for his saving their hides and doing all the work.

Also, his unique treatment of his wife, which is neither a return to her former entitled/privileged status, nor a BTB, but rather somewhere in between. (As pointed out, she could likely have done better by him while he was restrained. But at least she did not abandon him to thirst to death or to starve).

As for "holes" or problems as brought out by commenters, I do not expect perfection from a human, especially when he is an amateur volunteer contributing to Literotica (and thus to me) an entertainment that I do not pay for.

Good enough for me,

Paul in Oklahoma

The first comment thinks that this story is copied, although changed.

The second comment (apparently by the same Anonymous) reveals the story he thinks was copied, namely, Gill, Igg, and I's Land by StangStar06 (although Anonymous gets neither the title nor the author exactly correct).

So, following his lead, I read Gill, Igg, and I's Land.

After reading them, one right after the other, I would never think that one had the other in mind. Even with Anonymous putting that suggestion in my mind, I do not see it.

The similarity is a couple shipwrecked on an island because of a storm.

Most of the rest is different:

Age of the couple

Way the boat is wrecked

How they survive

Whether deaths are involved

Circumstances of the cheating

What happens to the couple's marriage

And more differences

These two stories, posted over 4 years apart, show no evidence of one depending on, or using, the other.

Paul in Oklahoma

No. Can't be staying together after that.

Again. Rough first story, but I like it. The fact that it offended Grendlepup and the other cucks makes it even better.

Cucks get one star

Tell the 'truth', they three men who survived assaulted you, kidnapped you, threatened to kill you while raping your wife in front of you, you killed one when escaping, the one died when they attempted to kill you in revenge for escaping, the last died after he killed your wife in revenge for his cousins

You'd get far more money from all their estates and the whores life insurance, with that kind of money you could get a sex salve who didnt stab you in the back

Rambling, nonsensical and barely coherent, this gets a solid two middle fingers up score from me. Having a BTB theme doesn't elevate it nearly enough.

He smothered the first one and hit the second with a shovel but the authorities thought they died of malnutrition? I'm pretty sure I remember reading another story almost identical to this.

You know nothing of the signs strangulation leave and being killed by having your head caved in with a shovel is kind of obvious. Get you shit together when you write.

Hilarious!!!!

he shouldve let her die

Another marriage made in heaven he’s a moron and she’s a whore.

I know authors on this site are really starved for ideas but come on.

Read it again. You really fucked that up right at the end. Could've been a good story.

0 stars - really just a sick story.

He did everything right except to save her. One day he may wake up with a knife in his chest. He should have never trusted her again. There are better women out there.

Stupid, sick story with multiple spelling and grammatical errors.

The author is a sexist. The fact she is a woman does not disqualify the wife from the same consequence that was paid by each of her lovers.

WTF kind of worthless closeted cuck are you? This was truly horrendous crap!

Was a good idea for a story but several mistakes. First if the husband was tied up for the amount of time you stated he would have died in that environment. Secondly the husband would have had a much much longer conversation with they wife about her giving in to them after they attacked him. Like why she is going along with it for instance. Also you.never ever bury bodies this can be used against you in a later time if you had to murder them to save your life. He should have put them in the ocean and let the sea take them. Last the wife if she was complicit due to fear is one thing but if she went along with it to spite the husband she would have told on him to the authorities. Unless he broke her down over weeks. Still the way it was described she just went along with it like it was old times in college, but it was never really made plain. This story really needs a rewrite.

Was with you until you had no consequences for the wife after all she did. Just didn’t seem to go with the flow of the rest of the story. The way you wrote it she was a willing slut and probably was already pregnant by one of the guys before leaving the island. So close to a really good one.

Childish name calling and terrible plot. He willingly went back to her. Trash

How incredibly stupid to take her back. To be clear that means YOU are incredibly stupid@dragonmann72, and it shows in your work

Plain stupid,totally incomplete as a story.You did have a story line but simply did nothing to develop it past a narration.. narrations are seldom successful or enjoyable for a reader.The ending is just unbelievable..... 2 stars for the attempt.

Several plot holes,needs an editor,but still a better story than I could write,5stars.Dalbydad.

Srupid stupid stuipd story!!!

The only damage done was to the English language

He should have prepared one more grave. Please get a dictionary so you can spell correctly and use the correct wording.

This author needs a crash course in the study of the English language. Please go back and study your 2nd grade assignments by staying awake this time. Killing the assholes was fine. However, killing the language is unforgivable.

Atrocious!