All Comments on 'Catherine 01: Tuesday's Lunch'

Your grammar is simply appalling! And learn the difference between breath and breathe.

"Hesitating slightly before she says, "Well..." My holding my breathe waiting for her answer."

"She hesitated slightly before she said, "Well..." While I held my BREATH waiting for her to answer."

or

"I held my breath while she hesitantly said. "Well..."

I couldn't read much more than that. 1*

Grammar and spelling are horrible. Totally Stupid story. It reads like some 3rd party reporting what was said. Women have breasts(generally) not breast. One doesn't ware an article of clothing you WEAR it. If English isn't your native language that's understandable. Please work with an editor.

1 star

DragonRider55

Not a bad story, though admittedly kind of confusing. I think you saw the english lit professor's comments, listed as anonymous, but don't stop writing

I appreciate, "constructive criticism." it will help make my story better. I'm not a professional writer, and this is my first attempt at getting something out that i have strong feeling about. I will try harder on eliminating spelling mistakes, spell check sucks I guess. An grammar, I'll work on too. Just remember, this is for armatures, and not Pulitzer winning writers. Also, leave a name, Autonomous will get you blocked.

I love the desire between both parties. Sizzling!

"Your grammar is simply appalling!"

"Grammar and spelling are horrible. Totally Stupid story. It reads like some 3rd party reporting"

"I couldn't read much more than that"

You sound like some stuff shirt with nothing better to do that belittle others efforts. As far as, "3rd party reporting." my intent is for story that is open ended, sort of like the following:

"First Person Narrator: Definition. First person narrative is a point of view (who is telling a story) where the story is narrated by one character at a time. This character may be speaking about him or herself or sharing events that he or she is experiencing."

Again, as I said before, I appreciate "Constructive Criticism," and not belittlement.

Thank You.