All Comments on 'Celebrating New Things'

I look forward to reading more of your works I am curious to see who the father of mollys baby is and if bev got pregnant

First they were ordinary brother and sister, and then, bang!, banging each other.

Missing something between that could explain why that second part happened.

No story, spelling errors "wood disk" or was that suppose to be a wood desk. the whole story is a mess. stick to reading not writing

just drinking & talking how horny she was preggo would of fucked bro & dad but apparently never did(or did she?wouldn't know because way story written) out of blue she plants one on him then sucks & fucks him

Not much of a back story on Black delivery guy IE How/Why she & sister in-law fucked him

Can't believe i'm saying this but story needed to be longer!! Desperately needed back story etc etc

Too rushed.

Where's the rest of the story?

ZERO IS AN OPTION! Zero means leaving no score, but that would ruin malicious intent. Through the years I've been baffled by people who continually grade grammar, composition, and punctuation on a free sex story web site. Attempting to hurt someone's feelings by remote means is a pitiful thing to witness. Others attempt to demonstrate their intelligence with convoluted negative attacks. It makes no sense! If you want to make a negative effect on someone, give your opinions to someone face-to-face. You will probably get your ass kicked, so never mind; go back to jeering in the faceless crowd.

RS

This really isn't very good.

Where to start? I guess this is as good as anywhere: **she quipped.

"What're you doing here?" laughing at her quip**

(Note to Lit - bold and italics in comments would be good!)

If you can't write, don't. If you don't know whether you can write or not, don't. And don't "ask a friend" if it's any good, because they'll lie out of embarrassment.

Recapping: Don't. Don't. Don't.

Seriously man what is this? First they drink and then his wife become pregnant with another man's baby and then his sister wants him to knock her up, am I missing something cos it sure seems like that..... This is a fucked up story

I should have referenced that the characters from this story are linked to two of the other stories I submitted: Spa Day and Lingering Guilt. In those stories, Nick's wife and sister fall under the sway of a delivery man.

With regards to my writing, I am just starting on my journey. I will work harder to elaborate on some of the ideas I am trying to convey. I also will work on editing my story to eliminate grammatical errors. Any criticisms are appreciated, especially positive ones.

If any of the critical Anonymous posters could send me links to any stories they have written, it may be constructive to see how more established writers work.

Thanks!

at nigger

Great story. And the talk about being horny while pregnant could lead to more. Would love to read it.

Bev is a complete worthless whore that not only cheats on her boyfriend but also has her sister in law cheat on her brother and possible get her pregnant with some other guys kid. Well guess they might be in for a suprise in 9 months with the baby comes out black since they are white. I hope that is what happens and brother finds out that his sister caused it and leaves both worthless whores and never speaks to them again. Burn in hell cunts.

ok? A: more than likely that baby will be half black? B: When it all washes out? he will find out his sis was involved and no more family bonding lol. Good thing this is fiction.