by MissMebius
Okay, I'm sure other commenters will attack me for this, but as a woman & feminist, I detest the word "fuckhole". It's a total spoiler in an otherwise incredibly fabulous masturbation scene. Also, I'd suggest not using the overused trope "fitness model" to describe a girls appearance because you do such a beautifully crafted sensuous description, it's unnecessary to even used "fitness model" to describe the character.
This story was beautifully crafted & detailed. The protagonist & secondary characters were vividly painted. They're tantalyzing. The dialogue is fluent & natural, easy-going & realistic. The narrative is well nuanced & the desires & fantasies you've hinted at are exciting. Of course I wanted more!
You're quite a brilliant writer. BTW, my self described lesbian label isn't totally correct. I'm open to different sexual experiences, I just don't do cis men. There's a term for that I think, just can't ever remember what's politically correct or au currant any longer.
5 well deserved stars. You obviously labored long & hard to post this story & you've my thanks for it.
That first paragraph really grabs your attention. After that, it was nice to see they everyday routine of a futanari. Still, I would have thrown in a sex scene to make the readers hungry for more.
I loved it, can't wait for more chapters, Hannah is such a lucky girl.
I was even panting from it.
Great start, Please Continue.
Look forward to more of this story
Got a chapter idea hannah wears a skirt without panties or her boylegs maybe Cassie hides them due to wanting to see more of her dick she goes out like that and Lisa sees her dick
Fantastic start. Looking forward for the next chapters. 5*
Good sart (expecially for a 1st submission). Please keep writing!
Felt a little short, but got my curiosity piqued for sure. Will be looking for more of this story, and as for editing, there weren't many glaring errors that I could see, but it still wouldn't hurt to find someone to proof your work. If you have trouble finding one, let me know and I would be glad to help out.
Rnebular