Cheaters Coven

"I spent a week getting over what I did. Trying to understand it. I vowed I'd never be alone in the same room as Michael again. I wasn't in love with him, or overcome with attraction. It was more an interest inwhatwe did, than the man himself, you know?"

She looked anxiously around at the other women, and Gina and Rhonda shared another glance, this time with a tight smile that indicated, that yes, they knewexactlywhat she meant.

Gina said, softly, "Yeah," and Rhonda just nodded.

Mae patted Brooklyn's hand and said, "I think we all understand, Brooklyn. We understand too well. We get it."

Brooklyn took a deep breath and continued, "Well, my resolve lasted two weeks. Then, when Josh was out at some evening meeting, Michael showed up. I didn't even want to let him in, but he said he had to borrow one of Josh's tools, so I kind of had to. The kids were both at friends' houses. And within three minutes of him being there, he had his fingers jammed in my pussy. And what's worse..." the last came out as a sob, "I wanted him to. The moment I opened the door, I knew what he was there for, and I just got wet at the thought."

"He got me off twice, with just his fingers. I was on fire. Then he fucked me, roughly, across the couch. Josh could have walked in at any moment, and some how, that made it even more exciting. I was gushing. I don't know, I barely looked Michael in the eye. He kept saying things like, 'take it, bitch' and all the rest of it, and I didn't even try and stop him.

"And that's how it started. I didn't have to worry about contraception, I have an implant in my arm," she raised her arm and indicated a small area under the tricep, "that lasts for three years. And so, Michael would just show up on occasion when he knew Josh would not be around, and the kids were occupied. And we'd fuck. We wouldn't talk much – we never even mentioned Josh or the kids, or his fiancée. They were just topics we never mentioned. We both knew this was like a release thing, you know? There was no love.

"We even had his fiancée and him to dinner, and when they were there, there were no longing looks. Nothing to indicate that we had any other kind of relationship. I was just his toy. His plaything. And he was mine.

"I mean, I felt guilty, but it's like it was just in part of my mind. I still functioned like the same wife I'd always been. There were times when I turned Josh down, just because I knew I was sore or enlarged, but most of the time I didn't. And I made sure I was douched and clean for him. I initiated it a few times, in a romantic way. I needed to be sure I still loved my husband and I did. I do. It was no different. If anything, it was better because I had the lack of love from Michael to compare against. Josh was tender. He loved me and he took his time.

"And then it all turned to shit. It all came out."

Brooklyn dabbed at her eye as she said the last sentence, emotion leaking out everywhere.

"I still don't know how Josh found out. I don't suppose it really matters. I got a phone call from Michael just saying, 'He knows', and then he hung up. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what Josh actually knew, if he knew the extent of it or what. If he knew we'd done it in our house, or what he might know. I didn't know if I should leave, or what I should do. So I cleaned the house and waited for him to come home. He never did, at least not that night. I didn't know if I should call him or wait or what. The kids asked where he was and I told them he had a work thing.

"He showed up three days later, looking like hell. I didn't know what to do. I tried to go to him and hold him and he didn't want to even touch me. He was so hurt. And hurtful, with the things he said. He called me a slut and a whore. I found out later that he'd beaten Michael to within an inch of his life, and excommunicated him as a brother. And he'd given his parents the ultimatum that they had to, too. Or they'd lose him as a son. He'd told Michael's fiancée about it, and now she would be looking for me.

"I didn't know what to do. I tried to talk to him, but he just kept telling me to shut up and go away. I was served four days later. They even had pictures of us. He told me to leave and I started packing for the kids and it was then he got physical, and just grabbed me and screamed at me that I was leaving, but they weren't. I was afraid for the first time, so I packed what I could and left as fast as I could. He was unshaven, angry, he had red eyes and he was just so angry! I mean, I can understand it, I betrayed him with his brother. But I was...terrified. He was just so angry. I've never seen him like that before. I don't think he'd hurt me, but his eyes were just so wild..."

Gina and Mae exchanged glances, full of empathy.

"It's ok child. That's in the past. This is now. No judgment here," said Mae, gently.

Brooklyn gave a small sob, then smiled, embarrassedly at the other three women.

"Sorry," she said, "I thought I was over that."

She took another moment to gather herself and then smiled, both bravely and brittle. "So. I'm here. In a crappy one bedroom. He filed for adultery. His brother has been cut out of the family entirely. I see the kids, and they still don't really understand – Josh has not kept them from me, but he makes sure we don't cross paths when I see them. I pick them up from his parents and drop them back there."

There was silence for a moment as Brooklyn stared into the distance. And then she whispered, "But that's not the worst part."

The other three women just looked at her, as she looked from face to face.

"I don't know if I can even say this out loud," she said, as she dropped her gaze to the floor again.

After a few moments quiet, she said, impulsively, "I'm still doing it."

There was another shocked silence as the other women digested this nugget.

"He calls me sometimes. Tells me to be at a motel. And for some reason, I go," she said, listlessly, still staring at the floor.

"I don't have anything else to do. Josh makes sure I have enough money to live, but not much more. I've thought about going back to work. I've thought about ending it all, but then I think of the kids. But when Michael calls, I go. It's mechanical. He fucks me, I get up and dress and go home, brain dead. I don't even know why I go. He's barely able to get it up anyway, he's still all bruised and in pain. I think it's about getting even now, in his mind."

There was even more silence at this revelation, each of the women dealing with the shock and trying to work out how to respond.

It was Mae who got herself together first. Smoothly, she said, "Well, then child. I have to ask, do youwantto be doing this? Going to him?"

There was a whispered, "No," from Brooklyn, and she continued to just stare at the carpet.

"Well then," said Mae again, "I think we need to do something about that. Rhonda, do you still have that spare room?"

Rhonda nodded.

"I think that young Brooklyn here needs to come stay with you. That'll be alright now, won't it?"

It wasn't so much a question as a statement, but Rhonda didn't mind. She understood – sort of -what was going through Brooklyn's mind, and she wanted to help. She nodded vigorously. "I certainly do. I'll follow Brooke home, and help her pack up some stuff. If that's ok with you Brooke?"

Brooklyn looked up, tears staining her makeup. "You'd do that?"

"Of course," replied Gina, softy. "We all would. You need support and help. Thiskusipääis preying on you. You need the help to resist him and send him away, and we are here to help you."

"That's settled then," said Mae, with some satisfaction. "Brooklyn, you can stay with Rhonda for a while, while you get more settled, and she can ride shotgun for you, and keep this rather revolting man away from you. It honestly sounds like he got what was coming to him, seducing his own brother's wife. Really."

Everyone sat for a moment, and Brooklyn burrowed into her purse and produced a packet of face wipes that she started to use to wipe up the streaks in her mascara.

"Are you seeing any kind of therapist, dear?" asked Mae, after a few moments thought.

"No. I had thought about it, but I don't know how to find one. I want to see a marriage counselor with Josh, but he won't talk to me about that."

Mae nodded. "Well, I think that's par for the course, my dear. Given the situation right now, and his low opinion of you, he doesn't want to hear your voice right now. And I'm not entirely sure that he's wrong, or that it's a bad thing. While it's true there is only a certain window of opportunity to turn things around, it's also true that if the aggrieved party doesn't want to even try at that point, then it's not going to work anyway. Better for you to spend the time to understand yourself, understand what happened and get some help and tools to combat that, andthengo back and try and talk. It may be too late, but going in flailing and desperate isn't the way to succeed either. The fact that he's at least talking to you at all and not just cutting you out entirely is a major plus."

Gina interjected, "Brooklyn should use my woman. She's really good."

"What about the guy Deanna used?" asked Mae.

Gina shook her head. "She needs a woman, Mae. Look at her."

Mae looked over at Brooklyn, who was weeping slowly again.

"Yes, perhaps you are right. Can you make the introductions Gina?" asked Mae.

"Of course. You know it," replied Gina, glad she could actually offer something tangible.

"I.... I don't know if I can pay for that. I am still on Josh's medical insurance, and I am not sure that's covered."

"Hush child," said Mae, a little sharply. She continued in a slightly softer voice, "We can help out there. You just need to talk to someone qualified. We can offer support, but we aren't therapists and we don't pretend to be. Don't worry about the cost. We can all work that out later."

Brooklyn was wiping her face and held out the wipe in her hand, just looking at the other women and said, tremulously, "Why? Why do you do this? Why are you helping me? You don't know me? I don't know you. Why are you trying to help me like this?"

There was wonder in her voice, but it was a fair question. In fact, it was the major question of the evening. The reason for her being there, in Mae's house.

Mae gave a "hmmmmph" sound, the sound one makes when they are about to embark on a long and detailed response.

"Well," she said, for the third time, "we all have pasts. You've heard us say a bunch of times that we have all been through this and have been where you are. That wasn't just words. All three of us have made...questionable...decisions in the past. All of us have hurt other people, made mistakes, and then often compounded them. We've created a sort of...support network for those who, like ourselves, have made mistakes and need a safe place to talk about it, work it out and either dedicate ourselves to trying to rebuild, or, if necessary, to move on."

Brooklyn recoiled a little, and said, "You've all fucked up like me?"

"Oh Babe," said Gina, with a smile, "You havenoidea."

"Seriously?" asked Brooklyn, with a very small smile on her face, the first they'd seen.

"Oh yes," interjected Rhonda, firmly. "Very much big time."

"In fact," said Mae, "One of the things we generally do in this first meeting is discuss our own situations, so you can see that we aren't here to judge or try and manipulate you. Would you like to hear our stories? Get a feel for who we are and why we can so easily relate to your situation?"

Brooklyn stared at Mae for a few seconds, trying to comprehend what she was saying, then she looked at Gina and Rhonda, and then nodded, vigorously. Almost wondrously.

"OK then, who wants to go first?" asked Mae, getting up. "I'm going to get myself a fresh hot chocolate. Gina? Rhonda?"

Gina and Rhonda looked at each other and there was silence for a moment until Gina said, a little exasperatedly, "Sure, I'll go first." It was lost on neither that Mae had taken herself off to the kitchen at that exact moment in order to avoid having to go first. It was a typical Mae move.

While Mae was into the kitchen, Gina put down her coffee and pushed herself back into her chair, making herself comfortable.

"Well, lets see," she began, "how to start? I'm Gina Trellis. I used to be Gina Nape, but not any more. I'm thirty-eight. I've been divorced for almost four years now. I'm a community college educator. Not a full professor, more like a mid level teacher, teaching adult classes for both GED and bridging classes to a full degree. Mostly, I teach English, although I do some phys-ed classes too. I spend a lot of time at the gym and I have a small side career as a pole dance teacher. I teach some belly dancing too, but to be honest, most of the girls want to know how to spin around a pole and not look stupid."

She stopped, smiling self-consciously. "Yeah, I know. Embarrassing. But," she shrugged, "it pays the bills. And you wouldn't believe the body control it takes to be upside down on a pole for ten minutes."

"I was married to Scott. He was...great," she said, a little wistfully. "It was great. Everything a marriage should be – it sounds a lot like yours, Brooke. We met right after college. Before I met Scott, I had my moments as a party girl. I went to a few parties, met a few guys, and hooked up with several of them, as every girl does. I went a bit further though – I took on two or three guys a couple of times, and attended a gangbang, where I did a few guys. Not as many as the main attraction – a girl named Paula, who was dating some guy named Bob – but still, I helped myself to a few dicks that night. But when I met Scott, all the partying stopped, and I was totally ok with that. No resentment or anything – I'd had my fun, spread my oats and seen what was out there, and I was totally ok with that. I chalked it up to life experience and never really thought about it again.

"I was already trying to student teach, which is a nightmare in this city. I met Scott at a mixer held by the alumni club of U of I. Apparently he was an alumni too, only from a different campus from me. It was love at first site. I was smitten, and he was too. All those corny and stupid things you hear people say? It was all true. Hearts, flowers, stars in your eyes, the whole bit. We spent the entire night we met talking about how many kids we'd have, where we'd live, what religion we'd raise them, I mean, it sounds really stupid now. We were kids. We were raised on the whole Disney romance thing. I thought it was forever, and he did too. And for a while, it seemed like it would be."

Mae had returned by this point, just in time to catch the last points made by Gina. To everyone's surprise, she nodded along with what Gina was saying, agreeing with her emphatically through body language.

"We dated fast, and were living together within three months, and married in nine. And it was great. So much in common. He was a sports massage therapist. He knewallthe buttons to push, let me tell you.

"And yet, as with all things, familiarity, well it didn't breed contempt, yeah? But it fuckin' bred complacency. I look back and I don't know what happened. I was teaching and there was this guy. You know? There's always 'this guy'", Gina used her fingers to do the quotes signal.

"I dunno. Scott was working a lot; this guy was...exciting. We didn't have kids – we were both doing ok with our careers, and Scott thought that we might have to move a few times for his career and all the rest of it, so we'd put it off. It was just the two of us. He was working a lot, doing his best to be selected as the massage therapist for one of our Olympic teams. I was starting out teaching at the gym. I started out with just Yoga. This guy, Donny, he worked at the gym too as a private trainer. Well, I'm sure you don't have to imagine. He was hot, get tight bod. He came into my yoga class, 'to tone up'. Yeah, right. I can imagine he was hardening up alright. And of course, I had to have my hands all over him to get the posture correct. We were all hot and sweaty...I should have been stronger but one night, it just happened. The gym was closing, there was no one there, he asked me about a particular posture, which is basically bent over, doggy style. That's what we used to call it, in Yoga training. And course he's behind me and I can feel his bulge, and then he's in the position and I'm moving his body and I can feel his erection. And he gets up and just looks at me, and I look at him, and we end up kissing, and I, for some reason, cannot wait to get his erection out. Like you were saying, Brooke, it suddenly became the most important thing in the world – I've no idea why.

"Well, I don't think you have to imagine too hard to see where it went from there. The only thing that stopped us for a second was him running into the office to turn off the lights and the video recording system, and we proceeded to fuck on pretty much every piece of equipment in the place.

"Not once did I think about Scott. It was like I was at college again. Just hot, sweaty sex, with some great orgasms thrown in. Nothing about love or long-term relationship, just ships in the night. Well, that's how I justified it afterwards. There was some guilt, but honestly not that much. Scott was never going to know, and it was all extremely unimportant to me. I ended up doing the dirty with Donny three of four more times over the coming weeks, all just when the opportunity presented itself. To give him his due, he never came after me or hounded me. It was purely if and when there was opportunity. I think it meant as little to him as it did to me. We were fuck buddies, and nothing more.

"See, that's the thing. I remember sitting at home and thinking about it one day, after the first time, with a bottle of wine, determined to work out why I did, when I obviously loved Scott so much – why would I do something like this? And then it hit me – that since it was outside of my life with Scott, it had no bearing on it. I mean yeah, obviously that's just stupid, but at that time it made total sense to me. I didn't love Scott any less. It was just sweaty fun. A new cock. Finding out what a new guy liked and didn't like, and what tricks he might have. There was nothing more to it than that. Ha. Nothing more. I guess I missed the fact that if it was so unimportant, then I should have no problem just not doing it. To me at the time, it made absolutely no difference to my life with Scott. I loved him just as much – more even, because I understood even more how unique he was, what he meant to me. I'd had sex with someone else and felt absolutely nothing beyond some raw physical attraction that was easily sated. It was the wrong thing to do, of course, but the net result was an affirmation that no one could touch me and Scott. We were beyond that kind of emotional cheating, and I'd had sex with someone else and proven it to myself."

There was a moment where all the women sat in silence, sipping their coffee. Mae stood up and poked the fire that had diminished, adding a couple more logs and then sat down again, listening to Gina speak. The women contemplated what Gina had said, examining the statement she made and trying to reconcile it with their own experiences.

"But," continued Gina, "I'd obviously not really thought it through. Just because it didn't mean anything to me didn't mean it wouldn't mean anything to anyone else. Scott, for example. Or some other suitor.

"And that's what happened. Donny, that was purely physical. I think he was attracted to me, but once he got what he wanted, the whole relationship became...mechanical. We got it on a few times, and then he moved to Idaho, and he did it without a backward glance and I didn't even bother to say goodbye. That should give you an idea of how, well, just nothing, the whole relationship was.