Cheaters Coven

There was silence for a while, the women all digesting this last story.

"It's funny though. I've had sex since – the club scene is still exciting, but I never do it around here any more. Indiana, Milwaukee, even California on a very rare occasion. But not here. And I date, and have sex with some of the guys, but I just don't have it in me to have a full time relationship any more. Like Gina, I don't seem to be able to accept a man for any period of time. I measure them against Joss, all the things he did for me, the connection we had, the way we made each other laugh, the new experiences he opened up for me. It just...isn't right. I miss him so much. I miss the life I had. We were a proper family"

"I'm so sorry," said Brooklyn, genuinely moved by Rhonda's tale. Like Gina before her, she reached out to touch Rhonda's arm.

Rhonda put her hand over Brooklyn's and said, "It's ok. I made my bed. We all made our beds. We just have to learn to accept it, and move on. One day I will. Till then, lots of meaningless sex with attractive men for me!"

The last was said with false bravado, but it broke the tension of the moment.

Then, tentatively, Rhonda said, '"You wanna know the weirdest thing? Even though we are divorced, we still get it on occasionally. When he's in town, he'll call and we'll meet at his hotel and we'll just fuck. It's taken a while for that to happen, but now it does. He even asked if I was still doing the club scene and I told him the truth, - that I was, on occasion. And he asked about some of what I'd done. It wasn't done for titillation, just because he was curious. And I tell you girls, if I could persuade him to come with me once more, I'd make him the happiest man in the world. There are several couples who owe me favors now, and I know they would loan me the female half, so he could have his threesome. Hell, he could have a fivesome as far as I'm concerned, and I'd just sit and watch and not participate at all, if he didn't want."

Then she added, "Well, a girl can dream, anyway. I just wish he was there with me. I feel like it wasn't the fact that we went to a sex club that destroyed us, but how I acted while I was there. It was all so new, I went over board, and I destroyed his faith and trust in me. If I hadn't screwed up... If that second time we'd gone, we'd managed to get a three some going, I think life would be very different now."

Rhonda had a wistful tone in her voice, and then, after a moment, she shrugged and said, "Joka menneitä muistelee, sitä tikulla silmään."

Brooklyn looked blankly at Rhonda who said, "Finnish proverb. It means 'a poke in the eye for those who dwell on the past'."

"Ahhh," said Gina, wisely, as though she had a clue what Rhonda was talking about.

"Shall we break for more drinks? I'm sure that coffee pot needs attention," said Mae, rising from her chair. She picked up the coffee service, and moved off into the kitchen, humming to herself.

Gina looked at Rhonda and said, quietly, "You think she's going to tell it? All of it?"

"I don't know," replied Rhonda.

Brooklyn looked back and forth at both of them, confused. "What? Is she going to tell her story?"

"That's what I was asking. We've gotten bits of it before, but never the full story. To be honest, neither of us have the courage to ask her. She's got this way of putting you off, you know? The nicest way of saying 'fuck off'," said Gina.

"What do you know?" asked Brooklyn.

"There was some long term infidelity. It came to light, bad things happened, that's about it, really."

"Well, that's about right, I think," said a voice behind them. Mae had reappeared, with a refreshed coffee service.

Gina's eye's glanced in panic at Rhonda.

"Well. Isn't thisnice," said Mae, in the nicest possible way, but staring at Gina and Rhonda, her meaning couldn't be mistaken.

Rhonda and Gina looked at the floor and the coffee pot, respectively, avoiding each other's eyes.

"So, Mae. Whatisyour story?" asked Brooklyn, innocently, while turning in her seat to face her.

"My story?" said Mae, in a quiet reflective voice, "well, yes. I do suppose it's time. I've never really told anyone here all of it. Parts, perhaps... bits of it. The bits I choose to share, but...maybe it's time. Baring the soul is goodforthe soul, so I'm told."

She smiled at Brooklyn, genuinely, and then said, gently, "Yes. And those two, who haven't had the courage to ask properly, can listen too."

Gina and Rhonda looked up and glanced at each other. Gina now had a broad smile on her face, like a teenager caught at something she's not that ashamed of.

Rhonda grinned back and leaned forward to refill her coffee cup.

"Are we all settled? Yes? Good." Said Mae, settling herself in her chair.

"So let me tell you about Randall. My Randall. My goodness me, that man was everything to me. We met in 1975. He had just returned from being stationed at the Cambodian embassy, as a young marine. Everyone was evacuated when the Khmer Rouge took Phnom Penh, the capital city there."

She looked at the non-comprehending looks from Brooklyn, Gina and Rhonda.

"Never mind – ancient history. Suffice to say, he was a young marine, and oh so handsome. He was with a friend of his, Ronny Cordell. I knew Ronny from high school – he was the football jock, so everyone knew Ronny. He'd become friends of Randall while in the service, and Randall was back here on leave with him. We were at a dance. Well, disco really. It was the time. I was never really that interested, but my friends loved to dance, and the Bee Gees, Donna Summer, they were all the rage. I was a nurse at the time. I met Randall at some club – I forget which one – in Champaign Urbana, where I lived, and I was smitten at first sight. I can tell you what he was wearing, what I was wearing. I can even tell you what song was playing. It was 'Love to love you Baby', by Donna Summer. He was wearing jeans, boots and a checkered shirt, and I was in a yellow sundress.

She stopped, staring off into the distance, reliving past glories.

"He was oh so handsome. He stood there, with a beer in his hand, and I just stared at him. Then Ronny came over and said hello, and he introduced me to Randall and I stuttered and spluttered, and he took pity on me and asked me to dance.

"It was heaven. He was heaven. I hadn't known I was waiting for him specifically, but I had been. I knew that night I was going to marry him. We had four dates – and no sex, thank you – and then he had to leave again, back to duty. He wrote every other day and called when he could. He came back every leave he could – he was stationed in Georgia, as part of the security detail at some base there. By the fourth leave, he proposed and I said yes before he even finished asking. He mustered out a year later and moved to Urbana to be with me, and we started our lives together. I lived with him – even back in the seventies, it wasn't quite the thing that ladies of my breeding did, as my mother put it, but I wanted him so badly, I did it anyway. We were married a year later and it was bliss. Just the best day ever. Not like weddings today – small, just our friends, and such a wonderful night. Perfect temperature, not too long, no drunken uncles, just perfect.

"And the night, oh my goodness, that man could love. I mean I was no virgin. This was the seventies. Bra burning from the last decade and everything else meant there was alotof experimentation going on. I'd been around and explored a bit. I knew the difference between a confident lover and someone bumbling around. Or, worse still, a confident lover whose confidence was misplaced. That's the worst, you know. And thankfully, Randall was confident forallthe right reasons. Looking back, I still don't even know why we waited. I think it was misplaced chivalry, and on my part, trying to be like my parents' generation had been with the man I truly loved. I look at today's children and the way they jump in and out of bed with everyone before marriage and can't help but think that's more healthy – knowing you are sexually compatible with your partner before the commitment of marriage is just a better way to be, don't you agree?

"Anyway. Suffice to say Randall was great. Loving, confident, attentive, clever, funny, soft and yielding when it was right, and firm as concrete when that was required. My perfect man. We lived in an apartment in downtown Urbana, and he got a job as the superintendent there or, as you would say today, the building manager. He was a combination of general handy man, fixing stuff and office manager, vetting new residents and all things in between. It was a fantastic time - anything seemed possible. He had no family except a brother in Idaho, who we saw periodically, and my family – my mother, and two sisters. My Dad had died of heart failure in 1972, and his parents had died in a plane crash in 1968. We were happy. We scrimped and saved and bought a small – well not so small these days – place, and life was great. I worked at the hospital, for an oncologist there, and Randall puttered around the building.

"I got pregnant three years into our marriage, and we had Ezra - my little bonny boy. Hehatedthat term of affection. Then Ellie, eighteen months later, and finally Cameron, my baby about two years later. You can see them in the pictures on the mantle."

All the women rotated to look at the multitude of pictures on the mantelpiece – pictures of Mae with small children, grown children, individuals, at places like the Grand Canyon and Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco.

Gina and Rhonda had seen these before, but never knew exactly who they were. They guessed they were of Mae's family, but she'd never volunteered that information before, and they'd never had the courage to ask.

"That's Randall in the picture there, with the two boys," she said, sipping her now lukewarm hot chocolate.

Randall was a big man, almost six feet two. His hair had thinned, but he'd not succumbed to the dreaded comb over – just close cropped instead. Both his boys were not far behind him in height in the picture of the two of them with the Statue of Liberty in the background. He had piercing blue eyes, which both his sons also had. A goofy smile denoted a sense of humor, as did the fact that he was making bunny ears behind both his boys behind their heads, obviously unbeknownst to them.

"We traveled everywhere. It's something we both loved. All around the States, heck, all around the world. We went to Egypt, and Asia, and Europe. I loved London. So did Randall."

There was more staring off into the distance. More memories of better times.

"He was so good to me, and I was to him. We just...understoodeach other, you know? It was a match made in heaven. I gave him what he needed, and he gave me what I needed. We ended up doing ok, too. He ended up owning the building he was managing, and then he bought some other buildings. By the time we were one, we owned two apartment buildings, three office buildings and three parking lots, plus four duplexes and our own house. We moved eight years into the marriage, into a much nicer place. It had a covered pool, and even had a pool house! All very fancy and la-de-da, let me tell you. Our Fourth of July parties were the talk of the town!

"I went into politics once the kids were grown. I was bored, and I'd given up nursing when Ellie was born. Randall encouraged me and even helped fund my first run for city council. The next thing I know, I'm running for Mayor! And I won! Sort of. I mean I did get elected. It was heady times, girls. Like I said, everything seemed possible. And it was, right up till the end."

There was a quiet moment where Mae just frowned, Rhonda and Gina squirmed with impatience and Brooklyn sat with rapt attention.

"Well, that was Randall. He was my everything. Which is why it's so hard to talk about Dexter."

Mae looked at the other women uncertainly, wondering if she was really doing the smart thing. "In for a penny, in for a pound," she thought to herself, "They've bared their souls..." and surged on.

"So Dexter. He was everything that...Randall was not. Or more to the point, Randall was everything Dexter was not. Randall was steady and firm. Dexter was flighty and all over the place. Randall was commitment personified, Dexter ran from commitment like it was cancer. Randall thought through whatever he was going to do and Dexter, well, if the thought came into his head, he did it. Randall had a slow and quiet sense of humor, where as Dexter thought everything was rip roaringly funny, and poked fun at everything. Randall worked hard and long for everything he had, Dexter, well, things came to him easily, and left him just as easily. One day he'd have thousands to spend and the next, he'd owe thousands.

"I'm sure you girls know what I mean. He wasn't so much a bad boy, as they put it, as a little boy. But he was fun, and for some reason, we just couldn't seem to leave each other alone. I met him before Randall and we had a torrid affair for three or four months. It was never going to be a full on relationship, that was obvious to me very quickly. Dexter was more than just a flight risk. He had a wandering eye, wandering hands, and no maturity or conscience whatsoever. And honestly, after two or three days of his company, you just needed to speak to a grown up. But there was something about him, like a wounded bird. You just couldn't help wanting to mother him and make him laugh.

"When I met Randall, I hadn't seen Dexter for months. I knew what Randall was the moment I met him. He was my soul mate. But Dexter...he was like my fun mate, if you know what I mean? He'd appear for a few weeks, we'd find some time to be together, sometimes we'd be physical, sometimes we'd just drink...I just couldn't resist him.

"Even after we were married, it carried on. Like you ladies, I knew for a fact where my bread was buttered, and by who, so Dexter, he was like a naughty interlude. Like a bad habit. He knew he had no chance of having anything long term with me, like a real relationship, but...he'd show up, after spending eight months in Paris or somewhere, and call me up and we'd meet for coffee, and then spend a couple of hours catching up..."

"You mean shacking up, don't you Mae?" said Gina, a little acidly. Here was Mae, the matriarch, and finally she was admitting to being human. Gina couldn't help but feel some satisfaction.

Mae sighed.

"If you mean we got physical, then yes, that happened. Dexter was wildly inventive, Randall was less so. I mean, if someone told him about something, he'd try it, but he wasn't one to look at a hairbrush and think 'I wonder how we could use this as a sex toy?' Dexter, on the other hand, would already have stories about what you could or couldn't do with it. Randall wasn't boring, and I don't mean to make it sound like he was – healwayssatisfied me, without question. He could leave me a blubbering mess on the bed. But Dexter, well, you just never knew what he was going to do next.

"It went on for years. He was like my other husband, one that was away a lot. He'd come back, regale me with stories of where he'd been, what he'd been doing, who he'd been doing it with – he was never shy about telling me about the other women. But then he'd stroke my cheek and say 'but none of them are you, Mae" and then he'd kiss me and I'd just smile at his sheer audacity. I didn't care. He wasn't mine and I wasn't his – I had my man at home. Dexter was just so....comfortable. I think that's the word.

"He even bought me a ring. It had an inscription on the inside that said 'Always there, waiting', which I did think at the time was unusually perceptive for Dexter. I wore it on my right hand, on the same finger as the ring finger. All very silly I know."

"Silly?" challenged a momentarily emboldened Gina. "That wasn't silly, that was outrageous. Putting his mark on you? Andwearingit? That takes some balls, Mae."

Mae just looked at Gina, calmly, and then said, haltingly, "Yes. You are right. I should never have done that. I knew what it was, what it symbolized. I should never even have entertained the idea. But I had some stupid thoughts of a woman who had everything. The husband she was devoted to and the lover who scratched a fun itch. It was pure arrogance and lack of thought on my part that did that. Thankfully, Randall never had a clue."

There was another silence as the other women began to really get a mental handle on the enormity of what Mae had perpetrated. A long term betrayal of the man she purported to love with all her heart. It was hard to comprehend. They'd been weak, but this, this was premeditated. Over years.

"Getting back to the story, when he was in town, we'd find ways to meet – sometimes at his place, or if Randall was in Chicago – two of the buildings we owned were in Chicago – he'd come by the house, and sneak into the pool house from the back. I'd never have him in the main house – that was Randall's and mine, not his.

"You know the funny thing? Dexter was so divorced from my main life – with Randall and the kids – I never even really felt that guilty about our time together. I mean, it was something I'd done all along, Randall had never suffered for it. It was like Dexter was just an old friend that sometimes I'd be physical with. I never even really thought about it. He was like old slippers or a favorite hairdresser.

"We did have fun though. I learned a few things – things Ialwaysmade sure to take back to Randall. We did some outlandish things that just confirmed I didn't like them. I'm not going to go into details – others here are more comfortable with that than I am," she said, arching an eyebrow at Rhonda, who just stared back, po faced, "a woman should have some mystery I think, but I will say that bondage is not for me. Nor is any of that humiliation or name calling garbage. If I'm there, I'm a full partner in what is going on, not some little tart to be ordered around. And when Dexter brought over another man, I threw them both out and Dexter didn't show up again for almost a year. I have my standards.

"Or I thought I did..." she said quietly, after a moment.

"The thing is, when you've effectively gotten away with something for years, you stop considering what it is you are actually doing. The impact it will have. It's been there, a part of your life, for so long, it's as if it's normal. You stop thinking about it as something wrong, even if you are making sure that no one else knows. You stop thinking aboutwhyyou are arranging things that way, and it just becomes part of your life. It's what you do.

"I had this life, public office, my main man by my side, a love that would never end, and a bit of occasional fun with an old friend that absolutely no one knew about, who was no threat to any of it anyway. Except...he was.

"Public office...It's a strange thing. I was ready for it, when the opportunity came knocking. I was a Republican candidate, back when the Republican Party actually stood for something other than big business, religious zealots and hypocrisy. Given that we owned buildings, we were known in the community, did community work, relatively well thought of, I think. Well, it was not a surprise when they came knocking. I'd already served as an council person, and done a relatively good job of trying to get the public school system in Urbana sorted out, so I had the experience. When the local party approached me, I wasn't that surprised. Randall was beside himself with excitement, and I was very proud and honored too.

"We just decided together, this was something we could do. I could do the job, and it was a way of serving the community. Leaving a legacy beyond our children, even though they were so very very important.