All Comments on 'Cheating'

The story.

There is no story-shouldn't had submitted this one at all

The point of the story is that both are cheaters? Obviously she is, we have no concrete proof that Drake is other then him working late and lack of sex with her.

...for decent grammar and spelling. Because there's no half-star option.

You need more life experiences. Note; it WAS Saturday night, ie in the past. Drake's phone RINGS.... ie in the present. Make the tenses consistent.

I couldn't get past the whole ass fucking no lube thing. Nah. Research that stuff.

Hey man, got some critiques but looking forward to your next work. Firstly I think you should of expanded the history between Tyler and Sophie. It goes from boyfriend problems, to hand holding, to kissing. Yes in theory this is a good setup, but there needs to be depth to fill it out, otherwise we can't relate to the character's motives at all, they just seem two dimensional this way. Now for some technical critiques. Anal with no lube would be painful and unpleasurable, if even possible. Not to mention the IRRESPONSIBILITY of unsafe sex. Tyler isn't really there for her if he doesn't put his and her future in mind, and the fear of STD's is very real in today's world. Considiring the possibility of Drake having other partner's and Sophie's unknown sexual history Tyler really didn't shine in this moment. Back to the anal thing, maybe her ass bled through the friction and that was enough lube, but that sounds horrible, unless she was into it. If so, holy shit (no pun intended) she needs get help. Your body is a temple. Lastly, my biggest critique: Tyler's multiple ejaculations. Tyler could have the biggest thunder cock known to man, but NO WAY is this nigga cumming more than once in the period of 10 minutes, you don't even need a sexual partner to know this, just spend an afternoon going at it and see how long it takes for the ol children factory to recharge. PS: Them passing out on the floor is unrealistic, also when drake sees them naked and covered in cum he's gonna be PISSED. Peace out praise be the Morman church.