Claiming Katy Ch. 12

"Don't be absurd. She is infatuated with you and wishes to please you however she can."

"But she-"

"Be quiet." I fell silent, my lips trembling. Her expression of complete detachment and disdain made me want to cry. My pulse was growing ever quicker and her hands burned against my skin. I was being scrutinised and had to fight the urge to close my eyes. When I blinked my eyes felt wet.

"What other reasons? How else has this helpless slave angered you?"

The words were always so cool and soft, even playful, and yet I felt like I was being spat on. I knew I had to answer, but I felt humiliated even before I spoke.

"She irritates me. She doesn't obey or she's slow or she's just hard work..."

This simple answer made tears prick my eyes and I didn't know why.

Bella smiled. "The first part was untrue, the last was not. You are so open to me, it is quite amusing. She is such hard work, but for reasons which have nothing to do with obedience, and everything to do with you. You may affirm I am correct by apologising for the untruth."

I felt unable to do anything but whisper "I'm sorry Doctor, I didn't deliberately-"

"And what did she do to anger you tonight?"

Before I could answer I felt tears run down my face, and I raised a hand to brush them away. Bella squeezed me again, but quite affectionately.

"No. Hands away from your face. If you're going to cry I want to see it. Answer my question."

Little sobs choked me when I tried to speak, and more tears squeezed from my eyes.

"I wanted to think about you. I felt so wonderful. You were so wonderful. I felt like a different person, and you were a new and exciting experience. And she was grovelling on the doormat, looking filthy and degraded and it felt like an insult."

"Did you hit her?"

"No I sent her away. Told her she was stupid. A child. That I didn't want to play games with her."

The doctor considered this for a moment. "I see. You meant to hurt her as a woman, rather than as a slave."

I nodded and whined as sobs shook my body, every tremor communicated directly to Bella's fingers. She let me cry like this for a moment.

"As if there is any distinction in her case. And what was this supposed to achieve?"

"I don't know!" I wailed. "I just... why shouldn't I expect her to take some responsibility? Why shouldn't she be sensitive to my feelings?"

"That's not what I asked you."

"I don't know!" I shouted. "I lost control! I was weak!"

"Lower your voice please. Yes, you were weak. And absurd. Why should she take responsibility or be sensitive to your emotions? Why should you need that? Pathetic. She is your plaything. Put your hands behind your head."

I obeyed without thinking. I exposed my breasts with some relief, and angled my body as though offering them for approval.

"And spread your knees. Are far as you can."

I obeyed again, but only because it felt like punishment. I shuffled my knees wide apart and felt the warm night air against my pussy. I shivered and drew a ragged breath, but my tears were subsiding. I had a flash of memory: of Katy kneeling on my bedroom floor, posed in just this way. I groaned.

Bella stood up, releasing my throat and making me miss the intimate contact. She stood just inches from my exposed body, and looked down at me. I returned her gaze, aware that I was indeed craving some sort of approval. She yawned.

"You look like you're in the mood for something sexual." She smiled. "And in the mood to be punished. Both at once." I bit my lip and closed my eyes. I didn't know what I wanted. I was empty and I needed something - anything - from Bella. "Eyes open, please."

When I opened my eyes, Bella's stance was subtly different, and her right foot slid forward so that I could suddenly feel the top of it, sheathed in warm fabric, nestling very gently against my pussy. I couldn't tear my gaze away from her calm eyes.

"Interesting. More obviously wet than I expected. Very well. If you want both at once, I think you would demean yourself by humping my leg, no?"

In a trance, utterly captivated by the soft face looking down at me, I shuffled slightly forward to comply. Almost immediately she moved her foot away, sneering. She laughed.

"Oh really, Sophie, no. I already told you I wasn't interested. That's pathetic."

I groaned as I felt the roiling sickness of utter humiliation. I curled forward and screwed closed my eyes, sobbing and letting tears flow. After a moment, I felt the foot touch my cheek (slightly damp, slightly perfumed with my own scent) and gently guide me upright.

When Bella spoke again she was utterly kind and warm.

"Upright, eyes open."

As soon as I opened my eyes and looked up at her, she moved silently out of my view, walking behind me. I didn't move and didn't try to look at her. A moment later I felt Bella's fingers gently entwining themselves with my fingers where they clasped the back of my head.

"Do you trust me, Sophie?" The voice was close and quiet.

My head bobbed.

"I don't know. I don't know what's happening..."

The fingers squeezed and caressed.

"I'll give you a clue. I just let you degrade yourself utterly and you're still naked and kneeling at my feet. I know we agreed you're not as smart as me, but... maybe try again?"

"Yes Doctor. I trust you." I almost smiled.

"Thank you. You see I am aware... you might not believe this, but I promise I know what I'm talking about... from this moment I could cure you and send you on your way. Or I could takes steps that you wouldn't notice, that would be simple and subtle and small, and I could make you my slave. I mean that within an hour you would not want to leave me tonight. Within a day you would be begging for degradation... within a week you would be weeping because I wouldn't let you clean my lavatory with your tongue... well, I won't go on. But I promise I know what I'm doing. Knowing that, will you submit to me now? Would you let me do anything I want with you? Absolutely anything?"

I felt myself growing tense again, and realised I was ashamed of my answer and even slightly disappointed.

"No."

"Why not? We have established: I am smarter, you desire sexual punishment, you trust me. You have begun. Explain yourself."

"I'm sorry. It's not you. I can't surrender power like that. I can't give away everything. I'm sorry."

"You don't have to apologise. But Sophie, I have stripped you, humiliated you, made you kneel and expose yourself. Haven't you surrendered?"

I gripped Bella's fingers, desperately glad of this affectionate contact.

"I've chosen to surrender this much... because I want your help."

"So you're in control?"

I felt myself blushing furiously, sure that she would feel the heat radiating from my neck.

"Please don't mock me. I don't quite understand what I'm doing, but I do know I haven't given up all control."

"I'm not mocking you, Sophie. You're quite correct. I respect that. That's why I've permitted you as much dignity as I have. It would be counterproductive if I had to fight you. And I would not wish to see you submit further. Right now you are beautiful, true enough. But when you stand tall and proud and dominant you are electrifying."

I didn't dare admit how aroused I was becoming. I hoped she couldn't read my body now.

"Thank you Bella."

"You should still call me 'Doctor'; we haven't finished yet."

"I'm sorry Doctor."

"But all of this is the source of the problem. You have failed to understand your slave. She is different, she is extraordinary. She will allow you to do absolutely anything with her. She is capable of total submission. Absolute. She trusts you utterly, in a way you or I are not capable of."

I knew this was true. "I didn't ask for that. Not really. It's insane."

"That's irrelevant. It's also a lie. You have asked for it, you just didn't expect it, didn't understand what you had, and didn't handle it correctly. The only relevant question is whether you can do better. She's either utterly in your possession or you don't deserve her."

I felt the guilt again, but now it didn't overwhelm me, didn't make me angry. I accepted it.

"Mrs Alderney said as much."

"You should think about her, too. Their relationship is not a fulfilled and satisfying one for either of them. You should think about why that is."

"She hasn't let Katy submit to her absolutely."

"Katy submits to her control, but wants more. Mrs Alderney cannot dominate her completely as you can."

I shook my head. "She doesn't want to. Why should she be like me? I'm a joke."

"Why a joke, Sophie?" Bella's fingers stroked my hair, and I felt new tears in my eyes. I couldn't speak, I didn't want to explain. I just wanted to cry.

The sensation of contact on my hair changed, and I realised her foot was resting gently on the back of my head. I knew what I was supposed to do.

"You're strong and brave," Bella whispered earnestly.

I exhaled and bent forward, lowering my face to the floor. My brow pressed into the carpet between my knees and and I could smell my own scent. Barely any pressure was exerted by the toes touching my neck, but I felt pinned.

"You're also not a fool," Bella's whisper continued, "so I don't have to press this point. We agree I am more intelligent, and now you are kissing the floor under my feet. It would be absurd to pretend you are not inferior to me right now. Agree?"

I tried to nod, but realised this didn't work. Tears continued to flow, but in unexpected directions in this inverted position.

"Yes Doctor."

"Inferior. That means you can't disappoint me... or look more foolish... or humiliate yourself. And you've done so well already. Now you can tell me why you're ashamed and afraid."

"I'm ridiculous!" I sobbed, and my voice was loud in my ears. This only made me feel worse. "Oh fuck, look at me, Bella! What am I doing? What sort of fucking stupid games have taken over my life?"

"Address me as 'Doctor', Sophie." Bella spoke with perfect calm and gentleness. "What sort of stupid games? Tell me."

"This! Earlier, I couldn't fuck you without having you crawl at my feet. I don't know how to be normal! Everything I do is... a joke." I was crying freely now and had to force out the words.

"It's okay, beautiful. It's simple, I promise. Would you like me to help you?"

"Yes please Doctor. Please... can you hold me or something? I need something..."

"Shh, of course." Her toes moved from my neck and began slithering down my spine. The sensation was beautiful, and conjured an image of the doctor, balanced perfectly, an elegant leg raised like a ballet dancer's. I smiled in spite of my misery and my tears began to ease.

"I shall explain it to you. You are ashamed and embarrassed by your desires and your nature, and that makes you angry. You lose control of your temper, and you're ashamed of that. Your shame makes you angry, and you lose your temper. You are afraid of your anger, and ashamed of your fear. And on and on. Fear, shame, anger... it all goes around and controls you. You no longer have control, even of yourself, and that is an existential disaster for you. Correct?"

I smiled at the phrase 'existential disaster', but answered promptly.

"Yes Doctor."

"Meanwhile, who is this girl Katy? You think she is ordinary and that somehow her submission has boundaries, then when you abuse her - do things to her that would drive an ordinary girl away in horror - she deepens her submission. The boundaries are not there, the limits are not there and yet you want to abandon yourself to your passions. But instead you must take care. Of her. You must work hard, lest she allows you to do something... excessive. To the extent that you are afraid of your slave. Agree?"

Each point seemed obvious enough, put like that. And the warm caress was calming me.

"Yes Doctor."

I felt her foot flatten on my back and she rested some of her weight on me.

"And meanwhile your need to control harms no-one but you. She manipulates you? You get angry. She tongues your cunt when you don't want her to? You get angry. They play out their sad corporal punishments in front of you? You get angry. And we know what anger does to you."

"Yes Doctor. But how do I change?"

"You don't have to change, bella. You are powerful. You are a Goddess. Accept that. She makes you angry? Punish her, whether she deserves it or not. Who cares? And shame? You are a Goddess. What can you be ashamed of? Who will judge you?"

"Mrs Alderney?"

"She is nothing to you. And she is nothing to Katy, compared to you. Besides, she needs you to be Katy's Goddess too."

"You then," I muttered, but without conviction. This line of argument seemed to be evaporating, and a new certainty was growing in me.

"Oh, Sophie. You're so silly. And a little self-centred. Do you really think I crawled at your feet because I thought you needed me to? Katy, Mrs Alderney, me... we all need you to be the same thing. You have a crowd of women demanding that you embrace your desires. I want to know you are Katy's perfect, cruel mistress. That's the person I want to fuck. And you don't have to become that person. You don't have to become a Goddess: you already are. You don't have to become fearless, merely recognise that you have nothing to fear. Even submission. Look at you now, under my foot. It is nothing to you."

I laughed. I realised I had stopped crying, and I was full of new energy. Bella stepped off me, and was now standing in front of my lowered face.

"I can advise you what to do next."

I lifted my head and looked at her legs.

"No. No thank you, Doctor." I leaned forward, arching my back as I pecked a kiss on the top of each of her feet. "Thank you Doctor, but I think we're done."

With astonishing speed and strength, Bella's foot moved and came down firmly on my head, pushing my face uncomfortably into the carpet. I didn't try to move, but I no longer felt submissive.

"No Sophie. In my office, we're done when the Doctor decides, not when the horny slut gets bored."

The pressure was quite hard and I couldn't breathe or speak, but I managed to make a noise that sounded like an apology.

"Better. Stay."

As the pressure lifted, I realised I was not obeying any more. I was following her instructions out of gratitude and respect.

"Very well, Sophie. You are done."

Slowly and deliberately, I stood. First I took my hands from the back of my neck, then got onto my hands and knees. As I moved I felt stronger, suddenly thrilling with excitement. I didn't look at Bella until I had eased myself carefully to my feet, fully erect and poised. I took a breath, raised my gaze to look her in the eye, and took a sudden step forward. Bella, whose eyes were wide with excitement, was taken off balance. I bumped my body gently against her until she fell backwards to sit heavily on the sofa. I grinned.

"Oh Sophie, you're magnificent!" She beamed up at me, eyes shining in the dim light.

"You're incredible, Bella. What have you done to me?"

She laughed. "Aren't you going to call me 'doctor' any more?"

Her knees were parted so I stepped between them, smiling silently and raising an eyebrow.

"Do you really think you could have enslaved me? All of it? Honestly now. I really want to know."

"If it was a very clean lavatory, perhaps."

I laughed loudly and enjoyed watching her grin up at me. She blinked shyly.

"I'm not so sure of myself now. But I believed it when I said it. That's why I said it. Once you were warned it was impossible."

"I'm not sure either. But maybe. I think I would have enjoyed it. I think you could have broken me."

"Yes, Sophie. I think so. But then I would no longer have my Sophie. My magnificent Sophie." She was whispering now. "Please don't ever ask me to do this to you again. It wasn't quite as much fun as I thought it would be."

"It was more fun than I expected," I grinned. "I think I will ask you to do this again, and I don't think you'll refuse. But I won't ever be this weak again. I won't ever have these doubts again. I feel powerful. Thank you."

Bella just gazed at me, still smiling. Then she reached out to my hand, but I moved it out of her reach.

"Don't touch me," I purred, grinning.

She looked at me with glittering eyes.

"Why?" she asked, a playful smile tweaking her lips.

I stepped my feet apart so that her legs were parted further, then leaned over her, letting my hair fall over her face. I lowered my face until it was inches from hers. She moved to kiss me, but I moved subtly away and grinned again.

"No. Don't touch me."

"Why, Sophie?" Bella laughed.

"Because I'm not in the mood for anything sexual. Not with you, not tonight. Not until I fix my situation. You should have taken advantage when I was begging for it on the floor." I took a moment to enjoy Bella's gentle, intelligent face, which displayed only sweet amusement, then stepped away. Silently, I turned to pick up my clothes and started to dress, but I left my underwear on the floor.

"What will you do now?"

I buttoned my blouse while I thought.

"I'm going to claim her. We'll see if she is really capable of total submission."

"And Mrs Alderney?"

Fully dressed, I approached Bella and stood close in front of her again.

"What about her?"

"I would still advise you to think carefully about her. I don't think you've thought about her properly. But I must respect confidences, so I won't say more. Also, I daren't try to tell you what to do now. You scare me a little"

I laughed. "Okay." I leaned down to stroke Bella's hair. "Thank you Bella. I won't ever need this from you ever again. I won't ever be hard work for you again." A look of relief came over her face, and I felt enormous affection toward her. "God, you're wonderful. I can't see you again until I've straightened all of this out. I'm serious, I need to be comfortable with Katy before I can give you what you deserve. Or be what you want. But I will. And I'll pay you back for what you've done tonight."

She bit her lip. "Is that good?"

I leaned in further to put my lips against her ear. "What do you think? I'll see you soon. Now tidy up these dirty clothes and go to bed. I'll let myself out."