by 350ZMAN
Good storyline and character build up. You desperately need to put the dialogue in parentheses and Separate them from the storyline. Little more detailed sexing's would also be welcomed.
I liked your story a lot, and I hope you'll write a sequel. I liked the interaction between the guys, the heart-to-heart, and the sensual feeling of the story.
I'll keep my eyes open for more of your stories.
Your work is good. The story is familiar but then thats not unusual. Your wording is ok but watch your style a bit more. I fell your at 85% so please contine. I will be looking for a continuation.
not original, not well or carefully written, and a 5/8 or 6/8 in diameter penis would be really skinny. Might be good for ass-fucking, and a major oddity, but it is a ridiculous image.
Like your story, are you going to continue it, you left off like you would.
This was a hot story, wish my workout buddy was like that. I guess I need to go to another gym.