All Comments on 'College Dreams Ch. 01'

Good intro! Keep it up However, can you finish the next Game of Thrones book first then come back to this?

Basically a good story, but pay more attention to sentence structure and use of correct pronouns. An editor would help.

You need to proof read better, too many errors too soon, and I switched off when after leaving the library at 11pm to walk in the woods there was dappled light and passing hikers! Sorry, too many errors to take this seriously.

Bloody awful writing.

like the story ... keep going its great :)

I thought the group of hikers was going to be about three young girls who joined in and let you play with their bodies