Note: You can change font size, font face, and turn on dark mode by clicking the "A" icon tab in the Story Info Box.
You can temporarily switch back to a Classic Literotica® experience during our ongoing public Beta testing. Please consider leaving feedback on issues you experience or suggest improvements.
Click here
"Yeah."
I locked the door. And he escorted me to his car, opening the door for me.
We drove to the movies in silence.
Finally we got there. There wasn't that many people in the line.
"Do you want popcorn and a drink?"
He asked
"Yes." I smiled
We got in the theater and took our seat.
Making small talk about the previews for different movies.
Then the movie started.
Nick starred at her. Taking in at how beautiful she was.
Her beautiful caramel skin that glistened from the light. Her beautiful smile. And that curvy body she had. He got to get a good look at it when he had gotten popcorn a drink for her. Her ass was nice and round that spread out to her hips. Leaving her with no waist. And about 36C cup breast.
He turned back to pay attention to the movie screen.
***********************************************
After the movie.
Nick smiled at how I was talking about the movie. He felt like she had warmed up to him.
"That movie was killer." I said excited.
"I see you enjoyed yourself." He said.
"Yeah I did thank you." I smiled
"Your welcome." He returning my smile.
He drove me home. Kayden wasn't there yet. Nick walked me to my door.
"So you want to hang out again another time." He said showing me all of his perfectly white teeth.
"Maybe." I replied back.
I put the key in the door. I hesitated opening the door. Then I turned around and looked up at Nick. I let go of the door and reached Nick's face.
In that moment nothing mattered.
He leaned down and kissed me, I kissed back.
Then I pulled away with my eyes still closed smiling I finally open them. 'Well for damn sure, this wasn't a dream.' I thought.
"Good night." He said.
"Good night." I replied back.
I opened the door and closed it. Turn on the light.
Why did I kiss him? Why did it feel right? What did he have that Kayden didn't?
I walked upstairs jumped in the bed and fell asleep. Forgetting to call Kayden.
***********************************************
At Rochelle's house.
"Kayden is everything set for Morgani's birthday tomorrow?" She asked looking at her phone.
"Yeah all of her family is coming tomorrow morning and I got to meet them at the place." He replied back
Exhaustedly, laying on the floor.
"Ok then I'll give you a call tomorrow morning." She said standing up.
"Ok, Im gonna go." He said yawning, and getting from off the floor.
"Ok I love you Kayden. And tell Morgani I said hey." She said hugging Kayden.
He hugged her back and kissed her cheek. "I love you to. And I will."
He walked out the door to his car. Then suddenly he got this strange feeling. He sped to Morgani's house.
**********************************************
Back At Morgani's house.
I woke up from my sleep. It felt like there was someone watching me.
So I slowly got up. Trying to adjust my vision. I walked toward the door of my room. I peeked out but, didn't see anything.
Then suddenly I felt hands grab my mouth and pull me back.
Then I went into battle mode. All I could feel coursing through me was adrenaline.
I took his hand and twisted it behind his back and kicked him in his stomach. I then punched him in his nose.
He fell to the ground in pain.
Then Kayden rushed upstairs. Busting through the door
"Kayden." I said starting to tear up.
He grabbed me and turned the light on.
They both looked at the intruder in disbelief.
- COMMENTS
black_maestraover 9 years agoI agree with the last 2 comments. Your story is kind of all over the place. Ch. 1 was okay (Everyone needs an editor, especially me). Ch. 2 only confused me with Kayden being an assassin. Then he wants sex on the kitchen table? That just seemed out of character for Kayden, you painted him as some devout chastity toting guy. He wouldn't finger her, but he'll eat her out on the kitchen table his first time. Not plausible. That level of freakiness has to be worked up to for a first timer.
I hope you don't mind this constructive criticisms; but First, you keep changing POV (point of view), like who is telling the story? First Person (Morgani, Nick, and/ or Kayden) or Third Person (you, the narrator)?
Second, you gave some details of a shortly lived character's interactions, whose mostl likely only purpose in the story was to emphasize another character's (Kayden, [whom I am sure is not the male lead character] secret vocation).
Third, it would help the story flow better, if you gave some background on each character as you introduce them to your audience, we (well I do) like to get the feel of their personality. To be honest, after you mentioned Sarah from the penthouse party, I thought she and Morgani were best buds and after mentioning the so-so relationship of her and Kayden, I assumed he was on his way out of the story.
Well I've said a lot, didn't mean to, but your story has a lot of potential. Also, keep in mind, to and too (as in 'also'). Your story feels rushed. I like the direction of your tale. I will reiterate.... could you not change POV mid paragraph? Oh, and plz 4give any of my typos as well. lol
Desideraover 9 years agoI think Kayden is adorable. In a murder-for-hire, homicidal, suicidal, virginal type way. Lol! A murderer who loses his virginity with someone he sincerely loves....Morgani. How special is that! LOL! This is interesting. I really like Kayden's character actually more than Morgani's. I don't know if you are writing it like that or not, but in this chapter, it seems to me that his character is a bit more interesting and enticing and the others are there as "mcguffins" just to move the story along. In some places, I got a bit confused about who is talking because sometimes it seems like the author is narrating what is happening and then in the same sentence it seems like the character is narrating. Nonetheless, I am hooked! Can't wait to see who the intruder is! Keep writing!
chocolatesistaover 9 years agoWho is the intruder? Kayden is hot and so is Nick but who to choose? I hate that Morgani is doing this to herself and most importantly Kayden. I wish he would tell her what he does maybe if he did she would love him really love him! I can't wait for the next chapter. Love you
