Courtship by Proxy

"I'll try," she said. "I guess the best place to start is by telling you that I am a virgin, and I intent to remain a virgin until my wedding night."

Kyle couldn't have been more surprised if she had told him she was from another planet. "Wow!" he said. "You certainly have some natural sensuality and inherent sexual skills if you have never had sex before."

She smiled and said, "I don't know how natural things would be with someone else. I respond to you in a way that I have never done with another man in my life. Obviously, with my job I have seen the male body naked before, but yours is the first one that I have seen outside of a clinical context, and until tonight, no man had ever seen me naked. The fact that I have no inhibitions around you is something I wasn't fully prepared for. I welcome it, but I'm not sure how to deal with it."

She pulled his face to her lips and kissed his cheek. "I want to have a physical relationship with you this weekend, but I need your help and understanding to protect me from going too far. If you're willing to teach me and guide me, I will do anything to please you short of intercourse."

"Before we go any further with this discussion, I need to ask you a question," he said. "Are you speaking to me about this as Tara, or as a proxy for Bubbles?"

Tara pulled her head back so that she could look him in the eyes and said, "Both actually. I am Bubbles when I am with you, so our 'situation' is shared."

She saw Kyle roll his eyes, so she tried to clarify, "One of the pledges made by all Sisters is that they will abstain from intercourse until their wedding night. So, whether you are with me, Cammy, Bubbles, or any other unmarried Sister, you would be faced with the same opportunity."

"Opportunity?" asked Kyle.

"You have the opportunity to teach the woman who loves you exactly how to please you." She continued, "You have a clean slate, Kyle. When I said that I responded to you like no man before, it was the truth, because there has been no man before you."

Kyle slid her off his lap onto the bed beside him. "I think you better call Bubbles on the phone so I can explain this to both of you and avoid any misunderstandings," he said.

Tara was shocked by Kyle's reaction and words. She was speechless for a moment just watching him look at her with a sad expression. "I can't call Bubbles when I am with you," she told him. "She'll learn everything from me and understand things as you explain them to me."

"I'm sorry," Kyle told her, "but this is where I have my biggest problem with her whole 'proxy' approach. You and your sisters can talk about feelings all day long, but you'll never convince me that you can each actually feel what the other feels, and more important to the topic at hand, you cannot convince me that each of you would respond the exact same way to what you felt. You all need to understand that from my perspective, it is the response from one person to the actions of another that determine the direction of a physical relationship."

"I can appreciate that Kyle, but I was speaking of pleasing you. Your responses to my actions would likely be very close to the same actions performed by one of my other Sisters."

Kyle interrupted her, "See, that's where you are wrong – at least where I am concerned. I am a 'giver', or at the very least a 'sharer'. Simply taking or accepting pleasure has no place in my life or my relationships. I'll give you an example: Let's say that you started running your fingers through the hairs on my chest. While it would undoubtedly feel good, I could not just let it happen without responding. So, let's say that in response to your hands on my chest, I placed my hands on your breasts. Your response to my touching you would define and direct subsequent actions that I would allow from you and respond to in kind. Can you tell me that your response to having your breasts fondled is exactly the same response that I would experience from one of your Sisters?"

With the most serious expression Kyle had seen on her face, Tara looked him directly in the eyes and said, "Yes Kyle, I can tell you that. Based upon the impact that your brief physical contact had on Cammy, and what Bubbles had told me about her times with you – combined with my own first-hand experiences of this evening – I can guarantee that all our responses to you would be exactly the same under identical circumstances and conditions. If you pinched my nipples and only brushed over another's, then the responses might be different, but apples to apples from you, then you would see the same response."

Kyle just stared at her. He couldn't accept the premise that these women were so 'in-tune' with one another that their responses to the same stimulation would be identical. Then he remembered how every physical contact that he had shared so far with both Cammy and Tara had in fact been exactly the same.

"Look," he said, "I'm not convinced that a lot of intimate physical contact between us this weekend is in anyone's best interest. I can promise you that you will leave the weekend with your virginity intact, but I won't promise to contribute to your sexual enlightenment in other ways. I would be honored if you would share my bed with me and allow me to hold you in my arms, but if you're not comfortable with that, I can sleep in the guest bedroom."

Tara couldn't hide her disappointment with the way their conversation had progressed. "Whatever you decide on will be fine, Kyle. I only want to please you."

Kyle had to bite his tongue to avoid verbally lashing out at her in anger. "You just don't get it," he said. He rose from the bed and looked down at her sitting there. "There is another comforter in the closet if you get cold. Good night."

She watched in stunned silence as he walked to his dresser and opened the bottom drawer. He pulled out a pair of cotton pajama bottoms and a T-shirt. With his back to her, he slipped out of the satin boxer shorts and replaced them with the pajamas. He then turned and put the T-shirt on as he left the room and closed the door behind him.

Kyle wasn't totally surprised when his home phone rang. Since leaving Tara in his room, he had been standing at the counter separating his kitchen from the living room, listening to her sobbing before she went into the bathroom and turned on the sink.

"Thanks for the boxers," he said as he answered the phone.

"They're kind of a moot point lying on the floor of your bedroom," she said. "Are you angry at me?"

"I'm not angry," he said. Then a moment later he added, "I'm just very disappointed."

"You're not the only one," she said.

"I thought Tara couldn't call you while she was with me?" he said.

"While she is with you, she is me. I can't very well call myself, now can I? The point is, she isn't with you right now, she is crying in your bathroom. Kyle, help me understand why you are so disappointed. Please."

Kyle sighed and tried to frame his response. After a few seconds he told her, "I guess I had expectations from my time with Cammy, from my conversation with you earlier this week, and from dinner with Tara which were unfulfilled. That's the best way I can describe it."

"Can you explain these expectations?" she asked.

"I can sum them up in one word," he said. "'Sharing'. You told me that this wasn't about you, but it was about 'us'. That isn't what was asked of me tonight."

She was silent for several seconds before asking, "Do you want my virginity, Kyle?"

There was no hesitation in Kyle's response, and he hoped the tone was not too harsh. "You took pride in explaining how much you knew about me, but you obviously know nothing. Tara can stay the weekend or I can take her wherever she wants to go, but I'm done with this game."

"Kyle please!" she screamed into the phone. "Please listen to me."

When he didn't respond, but stayed on the line, she continued. "Kyle, please understand that for all intents and purposes, you are dealing with a child. I am so immature when it comes to relationships that I don't know what to do. Help me grow... help me learn. Explain things to me as if I was a child if necessary."

Kyle considered her plea and tried to explain. "I'll give you an example, and maybe you can extrapolate greater awareness from that. Tara said I had a clean slate to teach the woman who loves me how to please me."

"And you do," she interjected.

Kyle continued, "But that is in conflict with your request that I help 'us'. It is in conflict with my expectations that I have more than a companion; I want a partner. I won't teach Tara, you, or anyone else how to please me, because it simply isn't possible. I want someone who would like to learn along with me how to please each other. If you're not willing to share your pleasure with me, I can't – and won't – share my pleasure with you. This has nothing to do with your virginity. The woman I love could take her virginity to the grave with her and we could still experience a level of intimacy that made our relationship whole. Answer me this, you say you love me, but if I was unable to have sex with you, would your feelings change?"

"God no," she said. "I would love you regardless."

"Then can you accept that I have the potential to feel the same way about you?" asked Kyle.

"Oh Kyle, of course," she said. "Kyle, we have the same desires and objectives, but as you just proved, you're so much better at articulating these things than I am. Sharing and learning together is exactly what I want, but please be patient with me. I don't know what I don't know, and I may say the wrong thing from time to time as a result. When I ask you to teach me, it goes beyond specific acts. Teach me the way of loving that we both want. I'll be a devoted student for you, I promise. I trust you, Kyle."

"You do intrigue me..." he said.

"You amaze me," she said. "Now please come back to bed and hold me like I've dreamed of. I love you Kyle Mason." The phone clicked off.

As he entered his bedroom, Kyle saw Tara bringing her empty bag out of the closet. He walked over to her, took the bag from her hand and set it on the floor. Looking into her eyes, he reached down and grabbed the bottom of her nightgown in both of his hands and raised it over her head. She raised her arms to allow it to become free of her body and stood staring at Kyle as he dropped the nightgown into the bag and then kicked it to the side of the room.

He took her hand and led her over to the bed. He pulled the covers down on her side and eased her into a sitting position on the edge of the bed. Bending down, he picked up her legs and swung them around so that she was lying with her head on a pillow, and then he covered her back up and stared down at her.

"Would you like some more water or anything else before we retire for the evening," he asked her.

She just stared at him and shook her head. He pulled his T-shirt off as he walked around to the other side of the bed. After pulling the covers down, he took off his pajama bottoms and crawled into bed next to her.

Lying on his back, he pulled her over so that her head was resting on his shoulder and his arm was around her.

"Do you understand that your pleasure is my pleasure?" he asked.

"I think so," she said.

"Nothing can feel good to just one of us," he said. "The intimacy is in the shared pleasure. Are you willing to try?"

"Definitely," she whispered.

"Then come here." He pulled her body fully upon his and hugged her tightly. "How's the fit from your side?" he asked.

"Perfect," she replied, and he had to agree with her.

As she wiggled her body against his, she said, "It looks like we have some company between us."

"We do," he confirmed, "but this is where you get your first lesson. I will frequently have a very visible and significant reaction to you like you're feeling now, but you shouldn't pay more attention to it than you do to other responses from me. A man can have an erection for reasons other than arousal, and if a woman uses it as her only means of measuring the pleasure of her partner, they will both miss out."

"Can I touch it?" she asked.

"Absolutely, but not right now," he said. "I think we should try something tonight if you're willing."

"Okay, tell me what you want me to do," she said.

"What I want 'us' to do," he corrected her.

"What you want 'us' to do," she agreed.

"For tonight, let's keep all caressing of each other with our hands limited to above the shoulders. We can use any part of our bodies to touch the other below the shoulders, but not our hands. The exception is when we are simply holding each other. Then since the hands are attached to the arms, they can follow along, but not to caress. Okay?"

"Can you give me an example?" she asked.

"I would be happy to," he said as he shifted their bodies slightly so that both of her legs now straddled one of his.

He bent his leg at the knee and lightly brushed the inside of her thighs with his, slowly moving the caress up her thighs to her pubic region. Her gasps and changes in breathing told him she had responded as expected.

"You want to try something on your own?" he asked her?

"Yes, I very much do," she said. "Did you have something in mind for me?"

"As a matter of fact I do," he told her. "Use your feet to caress me wherever you want, but you need to focus on how you feel doing it as much as you do on my reaction to you. Our bodies have the ability to feel over our entire surface, but the sensory input is too often missed. Pay attention to what you sense with your feet, from temperature changes on my skin, to texture differences where there is more or less hair, all of it. Can you do that?"

"I want to try," she said. "Will you tell me if I do it wrong?"

"There is not right or wrong, Tara. There may be some trial and error – for example you may find something too ticklish until you change the amount of pressure you apply, but that is what we want to discover together."

"Okay," she giggled, "here goes nothing."

Opening his eyes, he was greeted with the sight of Tara's beautiful face staring directly into his. He smiled as he remembered her enthusiasm from the night before.

"Guess what?" she asked in a whisper.

"What?" Kyle whispered back to her.

"I woke up naked in bed with Kyle Mason this morning," she giggled in a conspiratorial manner.

"No regrets?" he asked.

"Only that it took so long for it to finally happen," she told him as she snuggled her body against his under the warm covers. "Granted, I have limited experience to draw from, but you – I mean 'us' – it's all so much better, more sensual and stimulating than I ever imagined possible. I could easily get lost in you and I being together like this."

"Will you excuse me while I take care of some morning business?" Kyle asked her.

A puzzled expression danced across her face for an instant before she caught his meaning. "Of course, go ahead," she told him, then she asked a question, "Kyle, would you be comfortable leaving your clothes off around the house?"

Kyle chuckled as he swung his legs out of the bed, "I am comfortable doing that, and it actually might aid us in an idea I have. Give me a couple of minutes and I'll explain."

Kyle found Tara kneeling in the center of the bed with a look of rapturous anticipation on her face when he returned from the bathroom. She was obviously extremely comfortable around him with her own nudity, and that fact pleased him immensely.

He sat on the edge of the bed and Tara moved in behind him to put her arms around him and kiss the back of his neck. "Tell me your idea," she whispered in his ear.

"Are you familiar with the basketball game known as 'HORSE'," he asked her.

"I've never played it myself," she said, "But I think I understand the concept of the game. One player attempts to make a basket from someplace on the court, and if they make it, the next player has to attempt the exact same shot. If they fail to make the same shot as the first player, they earn a letter. The first person to earn enough letters to spell the word 'HORSE' loses the game. Is that the one you meant?"

Kyle pulled her around him so that she was sitting on his lap and replied, "Yes, that's the concept I was alluding to. I think we should try something similar today between us, only it will involve touching by our hands, and not carry any penalties. Let me demonstrate my idea..."

Kyle took her left hand in his and ran a finger around the base of her ring finger as if he was tracing the outline of a ring. He then released her hand and said, "Now you have to touch me in exactly the same place and in the same way." He held his left hand up for her to take.

Tara looked into his eyes as she found his ring finger and repeated his motions. "Like this?" she asked.

"Close," Kyle said, "and it served to demonstrate a point that is critical to this exercise. We need to place greater focus on awareness of each other's touch. You copied my basic movements, but did you notice that when I traced around your finger, the direction was clockwise? It's a small detail, and probably wouldn't mean much in this instance, but I think we owe it to each other to try to be as aware of the detail of every touch between us as we continue to explore our mutual pleasures."

Tara gasped and said, "You're right, I hadn't noticed. As insignificant as it might have been I agree with you that I want to be fully aware of every one of your touches, and I would hope that you were aware of the details from mine."

"I'm very glad that we share that desire," he said. "Now the other thing I think we should do is to only touch one another with our hands as we want to be touched. So, if I touched your lips like this," he ran his index finger around her full lips, "what would you do?"

Staring intently into his eyes, she said, "I would do this." She copied his movements exactly.

"Perfect," he said. "Now you try it with me."

Without hesitation, Tara placed both of her hands on Kyle's chest and caressed his nipples, rolling each between two fingers to make them erect, and then tickling her palms as she drew them over each in turn.

This confirmed for Kyle that his idea would allow each of them to learn how the other liked to be touched. The gentleness of her touch on his chest would have been his initial approach with her breast regardless, but the affirmation of her touching him in this way increased his and her confidence. He copied her movements, doing his best to match the exact degree of pressure that she had used on him.

"Was I close?" he asked once he had removed his hands.

"You were spot on, Kyle. You could open a school on couples' pleasure and make a lot of people very happy."

"There are only two people whose pleasure concerns me. Now, we just need to remain aware all day of who initiated a touch, and then repeat that same touch as soon as possible. Want to do this?"

Tara contemplated this. "You mean you want this to be an all-day exercise, regardless of where we are or what we are doing, we must each touch one another only where we want to be touched and then repeat the touch initiated by the other?"

"That was my idea," he said.

"It will definitely keep me on my toes," she laughed, "but I'm excited to try it. Now, I have a question for you."

"Shoot," he said.

"Can I play house with you today?"

"Don't tell me you already have a list of 'Honey-Do's' for me!" Kyle teased.

Tara wrapped her arms around his neck and said, "No silly, quite to the contrary. I want to pamper you today like a partner who lived with you should. I want to start by making you some fresh blueberry muffins for breakfast, and then maybe we could go to lunch at Charley's Chili, followed by a walk between the Newport and Balboa piers. We could stop at a grocery store on the way home and let me buy the makings for the dinner I want to prepare for you, after which we can curl up and watch a movie together. Sort of a one-day version of domestic bliss between two people in love."