All Comments on 'Crime & Punishment Pt. 04'

Outstanding story telling, worthy of five stars or more. You have created a cast of credible characters involved in complex and moving plot lines. As a reader who appreciates a well written story, I hope that you continue to entertain us with future stories involving these lawyers, spouses and associates. Having read all that you have posted to date, I look forward to many more to come.

Loved it, thank you. I even got past the lack of use of the past tense as in the modal verb “used to” instead of “use to”. But that’s just me a little pedantic.

Interesting 5 stars

This story is in my top 5 stories on Literoca. My only regret is the sex was minimal. The story had twists and turns that I did not expect. That is a good sign in any story. Predictability is the death of a storytelling. This author kept me guessing. For those that nitpick this author on grammer and punctuation, get a life. The best punctuation and grammer don't save a poor story.

Great series!

Another well written piece. I had intended to read it in chapters but once I started I couldn't stop. Thank you for sharing your work with us.

I liked story, I have to be honest that I skipped most of the non-main character litigation story, maybe I go back later and read it all, but thank you for your hard work.

Malapropisms, misspelled words, improper use of her/she, lack of/improper punctuation, and other issues - I’d stop using that editor, were I you. Still, it was an enjoyable story… not on the scale of Clancy or Grisham, but still a nice read. Laura was a cold, conniving, calculating, selfish bitch willing to spread her legs to advance her career. The author’s attempt to rewrite her character as an insecure little girl was a pathetic attempt to make her likable after painting her as the evil betrayer she was. This, of course, was so the author could justify the reconciliation.

Laura was unforgivable

So he's a strong willed determined and ruthless lawyer/ politician unless it's related to his cheating whore of a wife (who cheated on him several times throughout their relationship) then he becomes a totally kept man and the cuck to end all cucks. But that's all okay because she's insecure and is an irresponsible adult almost dying due to not taking care of herself while pregnant, lol.. lmao even. That ending is just nonsense.

1* Because it doesn't go lower.

"Anonymous17 days ago

Third reading and it’s still a five. Were it not for the frequent misuse of words and homonyms, it could have been a ten."

The above quote is an example of a reader trying to elevate them selves in knowledge above those who don't care. My remark is the MC was a human and human's make many mistakes. The story was written in the same manner that the character MC was in the mind of the Author.

SO. "Anonymous17 days ago" your thoughts are most likely dismissed by Most.

A brilliant multi-facted fictional gem. I regret I am allowed to give it five stars only. It is deserving of many more.

Anonymous10 days ago

Sad to say the MC, as written by the author, is a very good example of a duality of character. A cutthroat politician, but yet a cuckold. This is not relatable or realistic.

Failed.

Try again. Do better.

Anonymous

Jajajajajajajajajajajaja

Hahahaha

Funny Person

Complex, at times, just a little bit vague. Also, mercy is good for the soul. Remember, he who is without sin can throw the first stone at the defenseless, stripped, naked slut who has no protection. If a woman can be portrayed as a slut who is the man portrayed as the wolf. In a contest of wills, what chance does the slut have when standing against the hungry wolf. As in your story, the woman is trying to survive; the man has his pride. Sorry for being a preacher we should be trying a little harder to help the weak.

I liked the story a lot. Although this last chapter could've been easily twice as long. It felt rushed compared to the first part of the story, where the plot and characters developed slat a nice pace. To me to was a bit confusing at times. And for the moat part it felt to me like a list of events rather than a story. Like you were just checking boxes to close the story. If you kept the same pace at the end as the begining, this could easily be a book. Still it was a good story and gave it 5. Thanks for sharing!

Sad to say the MC, as written by the author, is a very good example of a duality of character. A cutthroat politician, but yet a cuckold. This is not relatable or realistic.

Failed.

Try again. Do better.

Third reading and it’s still a five. Were it not for the frequent misuse of words and homonyms, it could have been a ten.

Not bad for your first story, all around. The ending is still something left to be desired. Editors will fix the grammar. But it's clear you crammed this chapter and rushed it to the point of confusion. A better transition in between events may have helped. The influx of characters along with their redundancy to the actual story was a bit off putting as well. I was confused at that point. My only real issue is the "reconciliation via bullying," bit. Dude got cheated on, and everyone was basically like "Grow up." The divorce proceedings were thrown out while he was recovering. Then his estranged wife basically took advantage of him whilst he was unable to defend himself and trapped him with a pregnancy. The Doctor was treating his wife's lack of well-being like it's his fault. How about the mother's responsibility to stay healthy and accept help? Why not tell the doctor what how she REALLY got pregnant? To make matters worse, he went along with it even though he is portrayed as a strong and smart man which also gives the appearance that there are still loose ends to be concluded. It just doesn't feel like he won; feels more like he just accepted his role.

Also, I know this is fiction, but Pat should not have had the affair happen in the first place! There ain't but two kinds in the world big ole Goodens and good ole biggens,,

Í Second time through just as good as before. Egos,hubris and inmoral behavior will get you sooner or later! Is

Second Time and just as good. 5*

anon.1

How did this take such a horrible turn in this last chapter? WTH

The crime? Writing this crap.

The Punishment? Sticking with all 4 parts to see whether the story improves.

I mean, it's a long, drawn out story that sprinkles in some infidelity, but inevitably concludes with RG's usual BTB/RAAC mix of a husband who hates his slut wife and sucks it up for the greater good. Also, let's not forget RG's white wives banging BBC to cuckold their old white husbands. Where would we be without that tripe? *yawn*

Great ending nice twist 5*****

Second time. This was really good storytelling however the Patrick/Laura relationship was simply unpalatable.

Damn, what an odyssey. A starry-eyed law student from Brooklyn marries a highly ambitious and worldly attorney and slowly transforms into a cutthroat politician.

Not bad for a first story, RG, not bad at all. Except for a few grammatical errors I thought it was a great story. Maybe worthy of a TV mini-

series. I really don’t understand all the detractors’ problems with it. other than “haters gonna hate”, I guess. Thanks for a great tale, RG, I appreciate your sharing it.

Five stars.

Good story, though at times confusing.

Like a book you can't put down. Anyone who says different is full a shit!

The only weakness in this story is the relationship between Laura and Pat. It wasn't fully developed as much as it could have been and the ending seems more like an uneasy truce than a reconciliation. I think the biggest issue is that Pat never says, even to himself, that he loves Laura, at least not since the beginning of the novella. We all get a sense that he does, on some level, but it's murky and because of that the ending feels muddled. Sure, you can say "Leave it up to the readers to decide if it's a happy or sad ending" but I think that we can't really do that unless we know how Pat feels.

What a load of complete dumpshit!! So many characters and no likable characters. I can like a reconciliation story if it's earned. None here whatsoever, no remorse,guilt or action shown by the slut wife,basically baby traps him,have to wonder if it's even his. The people in power helps the wife basically leaving the wimpy cuck husband helpless, well one thing the author said right by his character, he's a wimpy cuck husband True till the end. No one gets justly punished.

Excellent read. This would make heck of a good movie.

I wonder what it was that Laura as a wife and mother forgot. It's really not hard to eat properly during pregnancy, though I suspect the American medicalisation of the whole thing plays a part in turning something mundane and commonplace into something exceptional and difficult.

Some gramatical errors aside I'm not sure that reconciling with Laura should have been on the cards. Or at least in the way it was handled. Also Saul should have been given a serious thrashing or if not that at least some sort of pain. Perhaps he should gave endured watching his wife get fucked and love it...

Pat is a weak man.

Let me get this straight. Patrick has his wife cheat on him, then he is fucked over and strung along by the courts until his wife's boyfriend has him crippled for life, somehow ending the divorce proceedings, allowing his estranged cheating wife to take him to her home and force herself on him until she gets pregnant. Now that he is baby trapped, he gets bullied by everyone around him until he finally resigns himself to remain married to her.

Even granting that The guy who cucked him ends up dead, it is impossible for any man with a true sense of what strength is to believe that old Pat is the strong one in the marriage. He has just managed to lie to himself enough to make his life palatable.

Great story, loved it

Litrotica should have a great big information box on the page where users submit stories: YOUR != YOU'RE

Superbly written & constructed story. Five hypernovas.

Second read for some of this story and first for all of it but it is a 5 all the way.

The characters are beautifully developed and as the story progressed, new layers of each emerged. I found each character with positive traits and yet somewhat flawed. This is my second time reading and it was just as enjoyable as the first.

Mimi Read it again 5*

Good read, held my interest to the end. REM

Overall the story was well written and enjoyable. I do not like the author's predilection in a number of his stories for the main character to have found his spouse in the wrong and then having the spouse basically emotionally torturing for chapters the mc to stay together.

Again, you lied about this not being a cuck story.

After taking the ethical fall to register on his wife's Alpha map, the husband was entirely appropriate to forgive her. BUT, remain married? Nope. Get a DNA test on the kid, negotiate on fair child custody and support, then divorce and find a wife more conducive to a political life. She had neither the character nor the personnal to avoid future scandal. Too weak and unreliable.

Was expecting BTB here... since long ago in the story...

Certainly what BuzzCzar said - at least in the first para.

I think this is my 3rd reading of this story. It's broad with several key players. It could easily have become cumbersome and unwieldy but conversely it's beautifully written with a fine plot. Excellent storytelling.

Each time though, I wish this author or his editor could spell the word "aisle". SMH. I've never doubted my 5* decision.

Far too contrived. Would be nice to have some real characters not encumbered by careers the author knows only through TV show caricatures. I'm sure though that many marriages of convenience among the rich and powerful are flexible enough to accommodate such cheating behaviour, but only because neither party actually loves the other, and only because they are kept from public knowledge and tarnishing the image of those involved. So it is annoying to find that characters that supposedly deeply love each other are capable of behaving as if they don't really care.

You are a very talented writer however this story has way too many moving parts. Too many characters with too much information to follow. You got stuck in the weeds on this one I could not finish it. 4 stars for the effort.

A wonderful piece of writing. Five supernovas.

Nicely done. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

A very complicated storey. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Just another typical story for you. A weak husband is manipulated into staying married to a cheating slut who got pregnant without his consent. You have a penchant for creating weak male characters. When a man is cheated on and chooses to stay married to the skank, he is by definition a willing cuckold. This story sucked like all of your stories suck.

Excellent storytelling. I didn't like Laura and it would have been nice to see her tossed into a dark night on her butt in a big mud puddle on a rainy street. But life doesn't often give us easy, clear choices. In the end Pat made his best choices out of the options available. He might not quite live happily ever after, but his life will go on and he will be fine. As will we. Therefore, as the great philosopher once said to us, "God bless us everyone." Thanks for sharing the story. One of the best.

Females are inherently, genetically, betrayers shopping for the best deal. They will, with absolutely no compunction, lie, cheat, steal from one male in the ardent pursuit of another. Every female is susceptible to this at any time. All feelings of guilt or unrighteousness are the remains of a layer of “societal morality” that can wash off with the next shower. Women shop for males who will maintain their various systems: transportation, dietary, domicile, hormonal balance, physical fitness, finances (including tax preparation), etc. Every female does this at all times. It’s just the way they are: it is a part of their human condition. Husbands are those who, at that particular time, provide the either the best service in a preferred area or acceptable service in multiple areas. If he falls far enough behind, then he is history. A transactional relationship may well be the only appropriate approach to living with a female, but the male must always be aware that never has there been a female that felt that she got a fair deal. The demand for equity is a siren’s song. All of the exceptions to these conditions are ideals existing only in literature and myth.

Fascinating reading. Easy five. But if that is a true reflection of US politics then no wonder the US is in such disarray. What a swamp.

.

He should have dumped the bitch.

Amazingly well-constructed plot points harmonizing with excellent character development. This author demonstrates notable insight into court trials, political intrigue, and some of the shenanigans that mar the reputations of otherwise well-respected lawfirms, along with the behaviors of sophisticated, complex characters. I find it amazing that this talented author says he is a novice and that this story was his first attempt writing fiction. Extremely well done, certainly rating a 6 or 7 on a scale of 1 to 5.

Well poor Sal is so lost in his mind....

Really good interesting story and writing, although more editing would have helped

Interesting that the sluts get most of what they want

Enjoyed it immensely. well done.

Nice Story, very good

Excellent story, thank you.

Really nice pencraft. Weaving two plots togerther allows me to ignore lawyers by skipping over unnecessary cryptic garbage, as I have my entire life, and focus on the marital plot.

Lawyers confuse truth and facts for a living, not worth reading in my opinion.

Tell me a female that is not a 5 star slut in any LW story in LITEROTICA…….3,4,5 guys a night is standard…..sometimes at the same time. R. H.

I always appreciate great writing and so I will probably be binge reading your stories now. I see a bit of fussing about editing, and while I agree it is not perfect, there was nothing that I found broke the flow of the story for me. And I find that editing and grammar errors and typos do tend to break the story flow for me and pull me out of the immersive experience of reading. So, either the mistakes were inconsequential or the writing and story line was just that good--I guess you win either way. Keep writing and sharing your work!!

Had to temper my review once again as poor Mr. Sullivan had to be blamed by everyone,told he was being childish SEVERAL times, and rather forced to remain with his spouse. A woman who had GANGBANGS while they dated and who knew that he would not have married her if he knew. That's the initial tragedy.

So many grammatical missteps that totally broke the flow. Someone needs to find an editor and pay attention to business.

Wow. Somewhere along the way, this story morphed from infidelity to political intrigue. A few details were hard to follow, but great story otherwise.

I really enjoyed this story. Although I could only give it a 4. I know it's your story and you have every right to write it however you wish. My dislike involved the marriage counselor and OBGYN. Man haters pure and simple. The Wife willingly spread her legs for another man but by golly the husband surely must have some blame in this??!! Bullshit. And he keeps her in the end.......Disgusting.

Just my opinion.

Once again our story points out actions have consequences. The last contact that Frank had was with that waitress and they were driving down road for a rendezvous so I'm assuming she had something to do with his overdose, hmmmm? still worth 5 stars

Outstanding series, very well written and told. You are a very skilled and competent writer...........():\

@nictox, just go away then, unhappy as you are, and spare we USA “bores” the poison of your inferiority complex. We assuredly won’t miss you.

Brilliant story; proper outcome. Love especially the wiser counsel from the ICU doc, something to the effect that: “being grown up means doing what’s best for your family, even when it may not be what you want to do.” Amen.

Thank goodness nixrox plans to stop reading RG’s stories…and making comments that are unhelpful. If only Dark2Donut2 would do the same. Why keep reading an author such as RG, ohio, etc. and then complain about story after story? This series was RG’s first foray into writing free stories in LW for people who are all-too-often ingrates. Fortunately, most readers appreciate RG’s stories (in spite of minor errors throughout). However, it rankles when readers have so little understanding of fiction that they make attributions of the author’s character based on his or her stories. It would be akin to castigating Thomas Harris and calling him a sociopath because he chose to write novels about a sociopath. It’s called imagination and creativity people! It allows an author to write about reprehensible people (real or imaginary) without approving their behavior. Why is that so difficult to understand? And why do you complain about an author’s stories, as many are wont to do, just because you’d prefer a different kind of story or a different ending? If you don’t appreciate what RG has been offering for free, maybe you should find another site, or write your own stories, or (as I think JPB suggested) stick to reading published authors…even if you might have to pay for those stories.

To Mr Richard Gerald,

Sir, in my opinion, you are the finest writer in LWs, there may be better at loin stirring sex scenes but for a tightly woven, entertaining, cant put down, long story, you may not have any peers. Im not sure if its you or another author but theres a very minor problem with the proper usage of "then vs than". It occurs often enuf that its a tiny little distraction when reading. But mostly, thank you very much for your inventive and fascinating contributions. rk

All this journey for him to stay with Laura. Forget the cheating. She held him in utter contempt during their entire marriage. And she showed such poor judgment in choosing a lover that had him shot. There’s no coming back from that. The RAAC is an insult to the reader and the character.

1 star - USA politics has got to be the most boring subject on this planet. The males in this story are all pretty pathetic - morals, ethics, trust and honor is clearly missing.

I don't think I'll waste more time trying to read any more stories by this writer.

Cuck shit.

Sorry but not an outcome that I can accept. Sullivan is weak and allowed himself to be continually manipulated. Laura got away with a gross betrayal. Politics stinks!

It was so good to read a story with some depth and breadth to it. Where the “loving wives” part was central but didn’t over power the complicated web of a story you wove. Thank you, really enjoyed reading it!

I like this story, mostly. As far as Pat forgiving his cheating wife, I learned a long time ago that there’s just some people in this world who’re too kind for their own good. And if they want to forgive someone who screwed them over, it’s no skin off my nose. What bothered me about the story, though, is the way lawyers and politicians (is that an oxymoron?) are portrayed. Maybe I’m just being cynical, again, but I can’t help but believe that there is more truth than fiction there. And that does bother me. Still a good story, though, RG, 5 stars.

This is a complicated story with more than one thing going on at the same time and both are woven together I can’t say that I liked it, but I needed to give it 5 stars.

Bill S.

Ironically I feel way more sympathy for Laura than for Susan. While both cheat in their husbands, their motivations and personalities are completely different. Susan feels entitled and hates that Steven is banging Lynda every weekend. Of course we know from the follow up story how disastrous is her affair with Tony Greco. Susan loses everything ultimately, as she should. Steven onlynout up with her bs because he has a very gray sets of morals given his childhood trauma. As an aside why Susan would want to have her conquests so brazenly while Steven is so handsome, intelligent, a rising star in the defense attorney circles, and apparently a cosmic lover, is confusing. Especially in that she not only has trusts but a long, damaging affair with Tony, for whom she will never forsake Steven but Tony becomes obsessed. While this story is about Laura and Patrick, I point this out since Susan represents thr narcissistic control freak who uses her sexuality for conquests and gets more than she bargained for in Steven, and losing everything because she had no restraint (next series). One might same a similar thing about Laura and Patrick, but they are different people. Laura's bragadaccio is a facade. While she cheats on Patrick at the hen party, they are not yet fully exclusive and have not had sex, and yet Laura feels terrible about it afterwards and unfulfilled, while Susan has zero remorse. Ss another aside the deVoe women are all head cases including her older sister Mary in "Obtuse", where thr RAAC seems unconscionable. Laura is more human than Susan who is more a self centered force of nature. Laura fended off the serial predator Frank for some time, only caving when it became clear it was the only way she would make partner so she and Patrick could start having kids. Was she wrong to have thr affair? Hell yeah. Did she enjoy. No. She herself remarks that she did it for only one purpose and that the sex was not enjoyable just different and not at all like what she has with Patrick (who apparently has amazing stamina and recuperation). For three months she fed herself to the jackal Frank (from Christmas to early Feb) and when she got partnership she di one more tryst at President's day, and then tied it off. Yes some will say she was afraid that Patrick was getting suspicious and denying her sex, but honestly that doesn't appear to be why she dropped Frank. She has no affection for Frank, felt more and more guilty as the affair continued and achieved her goal of partnership. All she wanted was to go back to only Patrick and have their children. Now if she had not been caught, would she have cheated again down the road? Absolutely. At some point when she was blocked in her career or the kids were going to leave home, etc. She loved her husband but did not respect him. When his wolf came out, that all changed. She mourned thr loss of the black and white arrow that was the Patrick she thought she married. The counseling sessions were long, but not one sided. The counselor clearly saw that Patrick was the wolf and Laura was the insecure girl who was weak. The wolf was never going back but defanged (some) when his wife gave birth to their daughter. The counselor ripped a new asshole on Laura about the cheating after several months. Yes she manipulated Patrcik but only within the bounds of his wolf like personality, calling attention to how weak Laura really was and how she was not what Patrick thought he married. Certainly Patrick married too young. He loved unequivocally and saw the illusion shatter. But over time he came to forgive Laura and together they built a family that the Wolf would now give anything to protect, while Laura accepted the new dynamic and realized her frailty and took on a very different role in their marriage. Were the divorce proceedings underhanded? Absolutely, but Patrick got over it and his life changed a lot since then. He went from idyllic to grizzled in about a year. I think they will make it. They deserve a chance. Without the attempt on his life and the birth of his daughter, they would not have a future together. Laura had zero clue that Feank would rey to rub out her husband. She couldn't even avvept it at first. Laura was repentant not just for the affair but for what she saw as Patrick's radical transformation, never realizing that the Wolf in sheep's clothing had been merely been sleeping. But in the end the Wolf accepted Laura and their daughter (and assume future kids) into its pack. Hence a reconciliation. No reconciliation is possible for Susan. She is a whole other ball game.

Thoroughly disappointing ending. She should have been tossed in front of a bus.

What a blast it must be. Having written this story over 8 years ago, there are still emotional reactions being expressed. For me, it was a great read. 5 stars

Good grief. Eta on the rise in sea levels?

Just another weak, needy, low T, cuck of an RG husband character. The wife essentially raped him, and then SHE gets written as a victim. Saul is a complete putz...enough of a putz to make this Jew anti-semitic. I've practiced in NYC for years, and the "power" over the disposition of divorce cases like this one does not exist.

IRC, the wife whoring herself out to advance her so-called "career" would lead any remotely normal man to divorce the prostitute.

Excellent start, but became harder to read and follow.

Disappointing end.

Well I got to the end finally. The basic material was solid and the various side trips interesting. Unfortunately the flow was uneven and sluggish. The seeming ‘cast of thousands’ never renders a plot palatable. Some sections however were very good indeed and for them I take my hat off!

Irrespective of the comments and the outcome.

It's a damn good narrative.

Even after a re-read.

Having said that, insecurity leads to infidelity is something I don't subscribe to. So, Laura has to introspect a lot more.

Reading the last two chapters got harder and harder, it was like reading treacle. Totally disagree he could not divorce his wife. For me a poor and hard tread. Others will like and have liked it. Its all down to he writing style but a style that was way too much for me. Strange because the first two chapters were a good read.

This author write in soap opera style, patching one plot segment on another for the sake of keeping it going. Accordingly, his characters are changing as needed to make the plot fragments stick. Overall the whole story becomes a series of weekly connected pieces with an array of characters that are like sticks in the rail that the author is holding attempting to finish the never-ending narrative. No wonder now he needs a sequel, prequel, commentaries etc.

Giant hogwash.

Another thing comes to mind, it seems people seem to see raac, baby trapping, trivialising serious relationship problems, minimising deep betrayals and more as romantic.

It goes to show that the average reader is average in more than one way. Some will find themselves on the receiving end of the treatment foisted upon the MC and they will find it unfair and horrendous, which it is, but very few, if any, will see the irony of their reaction and even remember giving such high marks to this crapshoot of a series.

This is proven by the fact that, for some unknown reason, it is rated quite highly. It just proves that the masses can't really be trusted.

Shame. From powerful to wimp, you turned a great character that had his own values and morals to one that you can't root for. A cheater is a cheater so why would he still stay with the cunt, that, by the way, baby trapped him.

Typical RG hogwash, piling up character after character then messing it all up. This guy writes like soap opera writers, his characters like this "Pat Sullivan" change like chameleons nevermind the need.

You need a blueprint and notes to follow crap like this only to discover that it is all worth jack shit.

And you do need to be very pretentious to call this crap "Crime and Punishment".

Second reading. Your story is rich and complex, layered, deep. Your characters' natures are only revealed when you choose to do it, and no, this reader can't identify well with any of them. tropes get teased out and then broken and dropped into the dust between the paragraphs. But it remains so dadgum good a story that it's still one special read.

The comments are good, and for a change, helpful. Yes, there were parts the could confuse the reader, but mostly because we as weak on what goes on in the political arena. Well done. Good job. Keep writing.

XYZ