Crossed

During the actual race there was no talking as neither man wanted to expend any energy in conversation. Then again, Trevor was running at a sub-seven-minute pace while Phil was plodding along at a respectable 8:20 a mile or so.

Trevor crossed the finish line in just under three hours, his personal best to date, while Phil limped in—literally—about 45 minutes later.

"You okay?" Trevor asked him once he'd had a couple of minutes to catch his breath.

"I don't know. My left knee is killin' me!" he said as he gasped for breath and gingerly limped around.

"You need to get to home and alternate putting hot then cold water on it as soon as you can. Remember that oscillating between hot and cold opens and closes the blood vessels and speeds healing. You've got thousands of micro tears in your muscles and that'll really help," Trevor told him. "Do that and take some aspirin if it doesn't bother your stomach."

He knew Phil was too tired to think about post-run recovery. They'd discussed this many times, and Trevor could only hope Phil would go straight home and do just that.

"Maybe Marissa can help you with ice packs and a heating pad after that," he offered.

"Fat chance," Phil said as he limped around. "She's barely even speaking to me anymore."

"Jesus, Phil. What's going on?" he said without thinking.

Phil stopped, stood up straight then shook his head.

"I can't talk about it," he said as he continued to shake his head.

"Man, I'm really sorry," Trevor told him sincerely.

"It's okay. I guess I was hoping she'd understand, but that ain't happenin'," he said telling Trevor less than nothing.

"Damn, Phil. If you want to talk about it sometime just let me know, okay?"

He shook his head again then said, "If I said anything—even a single word—that'd be it. Marissa would walk."

Trevor exhaled a long breath then said, "I uh, I don't really know what to even say to that."

"There's nothing left to say," Phil assured him. "We're either gonna work this out or we're not. It's that simple."

Dying to ask but knowing better, Trevor told him one more time he was there for him if he ever needed a sympathetic ear.

"Nah. Thanks anyway, but there's nothing you—or anyone else for that matter—can do. Marissa's either gonna learn to be okay with this or she's not."

Now beyond confused, having no idea what 'this' might be, all Trevor could think to say was, "Well, okay. I guess I'll see you...when I see you."

He turned to walk away then turned back and stuck out his hand.

"Congratulations. This was huge. Nicely done."

"Thanks, doc. I couldn't have done it without you, man. Thanks for stickin' with me. You know, I'm down to 147 pounds now and I've never felt better."

Phil was 5'11" and that was very thin for a guy his size, but it was his life, and Trevor knew distance runners were generally thin. But Phil had lost so much weight so quickly he looked almost emaciated while Trevor, at 6'0" even and 168 pounds looked very fit.

Again, it was none of his business, and as long as he was happy, it was Phil's choice, but it was also Marissa's business to whatever degree this could be affecting things on the home front.

"My pleasure, Phil. You take care, okay?"

"I will. You too, doc. And again—thanks. You have no idea how important this has been to me."

And with that, they shook hands again, and Trevor headed home to start his own post-run recovery care.

He was very glad the next day was Sunday when he woke up. As always after a marathon, his body hurt pretty much everywhere. It had been pushed to its limits and severely dehydrated during the run. He'd done everything he could to replenish fluids and glucose levels, but he was definitely hurting as evidenced by the way he was gingerly walking around the house.

After having a huge breakfast all he wanted to do was lay in his favorite recliner and watch something on ESPN and preferably not something like the Ironman competition.

As he vegged out, he tried putting the pieces of what he thought could be a puzzle together with regard to Phil and Marissa, but too many pieces were missing.

He recalled the various things she'd said, the way she'd looked at her husband, and then what Phil had said to him after the race, "She'll either learn to be okay with this or not."

But what was 'this' was his last thought before falling back asleep for another three hours; sleep his body desperately needed as it repaired the tissue damage done during the marathon.

Marissa was unusually quiet when he got in on Monday morning.

"The coffee's ready," she said without looking at him when he walked in.

"Okay. Thanks," he said now getting concerned.

He poured himself a cup then decided to see if perhaps she felt like talking.

"Marissa?" he said when he walked back into the front of the office.

"Yes?"

"If I'm outta line here, please say so, okay?" he began.

She didn't reply so he continued.

"I have no idea what's going on, but Phil's been acting very...different lately. It's none of my business, but is everything okay?"

Marissa sat up straight then said, "Acting differently. How appropriate. You really hit the nail on the head with that, Trevor."

"Is there anything I could possibly help with?" he asked knowing he was getting very close to prying.

"No, I don't think so," she said forcing a smile. "I just have to decide whether I can live with this...big change of his...or not."

"Is Phil...sick? He seems very healthy, but he has lost a lot of weight. Is there something serious going on?"

Marissa shook her head and said, "Is he sick? Well, I suppose that's depends on how you view his new...activity. Some would say 'no' and that I'm the one with the problem, but when you fundamentally change the dynamic in a marriage overnight, and you're forced to realize you have to accept something you can barely tolerate, I don't think that makes me the bad guy."

Now completely lost yet again, Trevor told her the same thing he'd told her husband.

"Well, I'm here for you if you ever do want to talk about whatever's going on."

"Thank you, Trevor. You have no idea how much that means to me," she said forcing another weak smile.

"Okay, well, I should probably get busy," he said almost wishing he hadn't asked.

"Oh, you have a change at 9 o'clock. Let me fill you in," Marissa said as though nothing at all had been said out of the ordinary just seconds before.

Three more days passed like that with Marissa not being her normal, cheery self, then, the following evening, just as Trevor was getting ready to leave, he noticed his office manager was still there—again.

"Marissa? I know you well enough to know you're never behind on anything, so I know that's not why you're staying late every night lately. You're welcome to stay here as much as you like, but wouldn't you rather be home?"

For the first time since he met her he saw tears in her eyes. She'd tried to turn away as though she was filing something, but it was obvious there was nothing to file.

Trevor moved closer, sat down, then asked if she wanted to talk.

"I'm...I'm not sure it would do any good, Trevor. I have to learn to accept this or...."

Her face was still turned away but he when he saw the 'hitch' he knew she was crying.

"Hey, you know you can talk to me, right?" Trevor said kindly.

He instinctively wanted to reach out and hold her, but they were at work, she was married, and that wasn't going to happen.

"I know," she said as she reached around for a tissue without turning her body.

She dabbed her eyes then took a deep breath before speaking, her body still turned away from him.

"I meant it with all my heart when I said 'til death do us' part. The 'in sickness and in health' and the 'for better or for worse'. I just couldn't imagine...this...ever happening."

Trevor was now pretty sure he understood as he delicately probed for more information.

"Marissa? Does this by any chance involve another woman?"

She turned back toward her desk but still didn't look at him when she said, "I guess that depends on what your definition of a 'woman' is."

"I don't understand," Trevor said politely now wondering if he was way off the mark.

"Ha! Join the party," Marissa said back referring to his not understanding.

"Did Phil cheat on you?" he asked more directly but still just as nicely.

"No. Not in the sense of an affair. No, nothing like that," she said taking another very deep breath.

"Okay. I won't probe any deeper then," Trevor told her.

"Thank you. I don't think I could tell you anyway."

She finally looked at him then said, "If I did tell you, it would destroy your impression of Phil and everything you know about him."

Marissa paused for a moment then added, "Just like it's done to me."

Trevor looked at her then looked down at the floor then back up at her before saying, "Okay, maybe I will ask one more question. If you don't mind."

"No. Go ahead. I may not be able to answer it, but feel free to ask," she said trying to smile. Her mascara was streaked, but she still looked so very beautiful to him.

"Is there anything...illegal...going on? Drugs or gambling or anything of that nature?"

"Oh, no. Nothing like that," she assured him. "No, it's not illegal. It's just...bizarre. To me, anyway."

"I have to admit I have no idea what's going on, but I can see it's serious and that whatever it is, it's hurting you deeply."

"That's an understatement," Marissa told him.

"And he's not...you know...hurting you, right?"

Marissa shook her head slowly then said, "Well, not physically."

She looked right at him then said, "I don't want to keep you here, Trevor. This is my issue to deal with. You should go home. And please, don't worry about me, okay? I'm a big girl, and I can handle my problems."

"I know you can," he told her sincerely.

"You're a very intelligent, very talented woman. And although it has nothing to do with your ability to deal with issues, you're also a very...beautiful woman. I don't know what's going on, but if Phil is causing this, he's a fool of the highest order. If I had someone as wonderful as you, I would do everything in my power to make sure she knew she was the most important thing in my life every day."

Marissa finally smiled a real smile then said, "That's the kindest thing anyone has said to me in a very, very long time. And it was very sweet, too. Thank you, Trevor."

"You're very welcome, and it's all true and very heartfelt, Marissa."

She sighed a very deep sigh then told him, "You are going to make some lucky girl very happy one day."

"I hope so," he said as he stood up. "Okay, I guess I'll be leaving unless you feel like talking some more."

As he walked away, Marissa said, "If you want to understand what's going on, stop by the house tomorrow night."

Trevor stopped walking and turned around.

"What's going on tomorrow?" he asked forgetting what day it was.

"It's Halloween," she said quietly. "Then imagine having to deal with that a couple of times a week."

She could see his confusion but still couldn't come out and say it.

"Just stop by to say 'hey' around 7pm or so. I mean, if you really want to know what's happening to us."

"Um...okay. I'll do that," he said still as lost as he'd been since this first came up.

They told one another goodnight, and Marissa assured him again she'd close the office which was fast becoming the norm.

Nothing was said the following day; it was business as usual and all business until Trevor got ready to leave.

"Do you still want me to stop by the house tonight?" he asked before going home.

"Only if you want to get involved. I mean, that alone won't get you involved, but it will tell you what I'm dealing with."

He could see she had more to say then after a long period of silence said, "I've been dreading Halloween for months."

"I won't ask why. I guess I'll just come over in an hour or so and see for myself," he told her wondering what on earth could be going on that had Marissa so upset, sad, and downright despondent lately.

It was 6:05 and Trevor needed 20 minutes to get home and another half hour to nuke something and eat it then maybe ten more minutes to get to Phil and Marissa's place. It'd be a little after 7pm, but it didn't sound like he had to be there at 7 o'clock on the dot, so he decided not to rush around like a chicken with its head cut off. In fact, he was now almost dreading finding out what this big 'secret' was that Marissa couldn't even talk about.

It was almost a quarter after when Trevor pulled into their driveway, and he took it very slowly as children were walking and running up and down the street and the sidewalks as they trick or treated with their parents or friends.

Even as he walked up the sidewalk of their house, several kids zoomed around him and one of them hit his leg pretty hard and didn't even apologize. Trevor just laughed as he remembered back when his only concern on Halloween was candy, too. He laughed again when he thought about the way candy had become a kind of enemy and yet a friend, at the same time, as it was a cause of many of the cavities that sent business his way.

His musings were interrupted when the front door opened a very tall woman he didn't recognize stood there looking at the trick or treaters.

"Trick or treat!" the children all yelled.

As he got closer, he stopped, unable to avoid staring.

"Holy...shit," he said when his brain pieced the puzzle together.

The 'woman' was Phil and 'she' looked almost convincing with the key word being 'almost'. Phil hadn't seen Trevor yet, but they were just five feet apart, and Trevor could now see him quite clearly.

He had obviously gone to a lot of trouble to have a wig styled and his makeup done because both of them looked like they might have been done professionally. Phil's nails had also been painted to match the lipstick he was wearing, and were it not for his Adam's apple and the fact that he was around 6'3" in the heels he was wearing, Trevor had to admit he looked pretty damn close to a real woman. Well...kind of.

As he dropped the last of the candy in their plastic pumpkins, Phil looked up and saw his friend. Rather than call out, "Hey, buddy!" he tried to do a kind of pose as though he actually was a woman then said, "Well, hello there...handsome," in a voice that was downright scary.

"Hello yourself, there...you," Trevor said not sure what to make of the person standing in front of him.

"Would you like to come in?" Phil asked using more of his regular voice albeit in a much higher pitch that sounded a bit unnerving.

"Um...sure. Why not," Trevor said as Phil stepped aside.

"Nice boobs," Trevor quipped as he walked by.

"Real silicon," Phil said tapping them as though he was bragging.

Marissa had heard Phil's voice and came out from the kitchen. She didn't smile, but the look on her face told Trevor all he needed to know. He didn't say anything, either, but he did raise his eyebrows in a manner that showed Marissa he finally 'got it'. He also mouthed the word 'wow' in a negative kind of way, and she actually smiled and almost laughed.

"You can say that again," she said causing Phil to ask what should be repeated.

"Oh, nothing," Marissa said.

"Can I get you anything, Trevor?" she asked.

"No, thanks. I was just in the neighborhood and thought I'd drop by and see how things have been going since the marathon. I didn't mean to interrupt the um...festivities."

"We're glad you did," Phil said now using his regular voice.

Trevor gave him the once over and said, "You look...different."

"I do, don't I?" he said before spinning around and asking, "So what do you think?" as the poodle skirt he was wearing flared out widely.

Trevor glanced at Marissa before answering, and he could 'feel' the cold from the look on her face from ten feet away.

"I'm...speechless," Trevor said which was an honest assessment.

"I thought I'd try something different this year," he said.

Phil smiled when he said it, and as Trevor looked at the man in drag, he had to remind himself this was Marissa's husband. He was by no means any close to a beautiful 'woman' but he was, in some ways at least, convincing-looking enough that his brain was having difficulty keeping things straight. Phil wasn't attractive in any way, but he didn't exactly look like a dude in a dress, either. At least not until one took a second, more careful look. Even then, it was very subtle.

"Yeah, well, that's definitely different," Trevor said in a noncommittal kind of way. "I guess as long as it's a once-a-year kind of thing, it's okay."

"Yeah, right!" Marissa snorted loudly enough for everyone to hear very clearly.

"More like twice a week," she said very quietly, her voice trailing off at the end.

"I'm gonna to have another glass of wine," she announced before heading back into the kitchen.

Trevor now understood and yet he had many more questions than answers but didn't feel like he could ask them.

"You sure you don't want a drink, doc?" Phil asked.

"No. I'm sure," he replied trying not to stare.

"I could have never pulled this off had I not lost all that weight, so I've got you thank for that," Phil said very cheerily.

"Um...yeah. Sure thing," Trevor said wondering how Phil could have female-looking curves and a female butt. He got the 'boob's' because of the silicon comment, but the rest of it was baffling. Then again, it was something Trevor didn't really want to know in any detail.

Before Phil could say anything else, the doorbell rang again, and the taller, older man struck another odd-looking quasi-female pose and said, "Duty calls!" in his falsetto voice.

Trevor walked into the kitchen just as Marissa was finishing the wine in her glass.

"That was fast," he said not in a judgmental way.

"Can you blame me?" she said as she poured another.

"How long has...that...been going on?"

She took a long, deep drink then said, "A little over four months. Evidently it isn't that new, though. Phil said he started doing this in childhood then off and on while he was in the Army, but he claims he thought he was over it once he met me. As you can see, he's obviously not."

Marissa nearly drained that glass, too.

"So he does this regularly?" Trevor asked. "In the house?"

"Yes and no," she replied. "He does it a couple of times a week, but he agreed not to do it in front of my anymore. We tried. I tried. I thought I could deal with it. But after seeing him...all dolled up...I just couldn't handle it. I mean, I married a man, you know? Not...that."

She killed the glass then shook her head.

"He's been looking forward to this for weeks, and I've been dreading it like the plague. The only good thing is no one should have any idea it isn't just a 'one off' kind of thing since it is Halloween. But I do, and I'm not sure how much more of this I can take," she said on the verge of crying again.

"Why don't we talk about this tomorrow? After work. If you want to, that is," he offered.

"I...I don't know what good it will do, but now that you know, it might be nice to be able to discuss this with someone I trust," she said trying to smile.

"I'm glad you feel you can trust me, Marissa," he told her sincerely.

"I'm a little drunk, Trevor, so excuse me if I say things I shouldn't, okay?" she told him as she reached for the bottle.

"Hey, I understand. I'm not sure I could deal with...that, either."

Marissa suddenly laughed and covered her mouth.

"You are so cute!" she said as she laughed. "No. Make that...handsome. Yes, you are definitely...very handsome."

Trevor understood that was 'one of those things' and only smiled in response.

She smiled again then said as she poured another glass nearly draining the bottle, "If you weren't my boss I'd tell you I have a huge crush on you. 'Cause I do, you know."