Crossed

"Oh, yeah. I'm probably not gonna ever run a marathon again, but well, you know why I want to stay fit. And...lean," Phil told him.

Trevor laughed politely then said, "As long as you're happy, my friend, it works for me."

Phil stuck his hand out again and as Trevor shook it, Phil said, "This is really hard for me to say, but if I don't say it now, I won't get up the nerve to say it so...."

"You're not gonna ask me out, are you?" Trevor said trying to kid around but wondering if that's what was coming next.

Phil laughed then said, "Hell, no! I'm not into guys. Most crossdressers aren't. No, I like women and only women so you can relax."

"Whew!" Trevor said pretending to wipe his brow. "Then what is it?"

Phil looked down at the floor for a couple of seconds then said, "After just telling you I was kind of jealous of you back before my...big revelation... I was thinking that, well, if you ever wanted to, you know, maybe ask Marissa out or something sometime...."

He stopped talking for a second then continued.

"Look, I know you're this hot, young dentist, and you could have any woman you want. So even though I think Marissa's the most beautiful woman on earth, I understand why you don't see her like that. But if you could, you know, maybe take her to a movie or whatever just every now and then, I'm sure she'd enjoy your company, and it would really cheer her up, you know?"

That was not something Trevor had been expecting to hear. Even so, he found it interesting that Phil would think he didn't see Marissa's beauty because she was older than him when he shared Phil's impression of just how attractive she was.

"Look, if you don't want to, I get it. I mean, if I was your age and could date anyone I wanted, I'd be looking for hot, young chicks myself. But Marissa's pretty special, and well, if you wouldn't mind, I'd really be grateful knowing there was someone looking out her. Don't get me wrong. It won't take her too long to find someone else. Any guy my age would jump at a chance to go out with a woman like her, and there'll be plenty of guys doing the jumping once she's ready."

"No worries, Phil. But...what if I do ask her out and she ends up falling for me?" he asked worried he was coming across as serious while trying to kid around.

Phil roared with laughter then slapped his younger friend on the shoulder.

"You and Marissa? That's rich!" Phil said.

Trevor realized the older man couldn't even conceive of such a thing so he played along.

"I was just wondering if you'd be my best man if she did."

Phil smiled then said, "Or maybe her Maid of Honor?"

Trevor winced in spite of himself and said, "Um, let's keep it real here, okay?"

Phil laughed again and said, "Right! Like you and Marissa getting married?"

Phil got up to leave when Trevor said, "Phil? Does Marissa need any help with the new place?"

He turned around and said, "I'm sure she does, but she made it clear she didn't want mine. If you want to stop by and check, I'd appreciate it. Here, lemme give you her new address."

The two friends said goodbye, and Trevor stood there staring at the piece of paper in his hand for several seconds before deciding what to do. Thirty minutes later, he was on his way to an apartment complex in a part of town that wasn't 'bad' per se, but wasn't the kind of place he'd want anyone he cared about to live in given a choice.

Marissa was carrying a couple of cardboard boxes from a U-Haul truck she'd rented that were stacked up to her chin when he caught up to her.

"Need some help?" he said startling her half to death.

"Oh, my gosh! Don't do that!" she said with a smile once she recognized who it was.

"Here, let me get those," Trevor said taking the boxes before she could object.

They were fairly heavy, and she was thankful for the help and told him so.

"How did you find me?" she asked as she opened her new apartment door for him.

"Believe it or not, Phil stopped by this morning."

"You're kidding," she said as she showed him where to put them.

"No. Not at all. He asked me to kind of look out for you."

Marissa didn't get emotional, but she was clearly touched.

"Yes, that's Phil. He always took such good care of me. Until he couldn't."

Trevor set the boxes down then told Marissa about the conversation they'd had.

"That really surprises me," she said. "I didn't think he'd want to talk about something so personal to anyone."

"I kind of brought it up, and I think it was good for him to be able to share what he called his ''hobby' with someone he could trust."

"Phil does trust you," Marissa said. "Then again, so do I."

She smiled happily when she said it, and Trevor thought about telling her what else Phil said, but decided to wait.

He helped her carry everything else inside then volunteered to help her put things away.

"No, you don't have to do that," she said.

"Besides, it's about time for lunch and you'll probably want to get home so you can eat some tofu or whatever it is you eat."

This time her smile was as playful as it was sweet.

"I've tried tofu and once was enough. Trust me," Trevor told her. "I do eat real food, you know. It's not always twigs and bark."

Marissa laughed at his comment then said, "I don't really have anything here to offer you other than a jar of peanut butter and some crackers or I'd offer to make lunch for you."

"I like peanut butter. A lot," he told her.

A few minutes later, they were sitting on the floor with a paper plate full of crackers between them along with a jar of peanut butter and two plastic knives. Marissa also provided some bottled water, and that became her first 'meal' in her new place.

"This reminds me of when Phil and I were first married and too broke to go anywhere," she said.

"I didn't mean for this to be a reminder of better days or anything."

"No. I'm not being melancholy. It's just the truth. And it was a very happy time," she told him in a way that let him know she wasn't sad at all.

"There's something to be said for shared sacrifice when you're first starting out," Trevor offered even though he'd never experienced that before and Marissa wholeheartedly agreed with him.

Once the crackers were gone, she picked up the plate and said, "So did I impress you with my cooking skills?"

Trevor laughed then said, "You did. Nothing was burned and the water was excellent."

Marissa laughed a genuine laugh then told him how pleasant it was to have someone to talk to.

"I enjoyed it a lot myself," he said as he stood up, too.

"Right! Handsome young dentist eats stale crackers and sticky peanut butter with old, soon-to-be divorced woman. Woo-hoo, right?" she teased.

"No, actually I'd put it like this," Trevor said as she tossed the paper plates and napkins into the little wastebasket by the sink.

"Young dentist has best time in years with the most beautiful woman he knows."

Marissa had been smiling and laughing, but the laughing stopped and the smile faded.

"It's more than enough you stopped by to help out, Trevor. You don't have to say something like just to make me feel good. I'm not a shrinking violet, you know."

As she turned around they were face to face and just inches apart.

"I didn't say it just to make you feel good," he said quietly as their eyes met. "I said it because it's true."

Marissa wasn't expecting company and wasn't wearing any makeup. She was in jeans and a sweatshirt and her hair was pulled into a ponytail, and she was feeling anything but attractive. And yet Trevor's eyes told her he wasn't teasing or joking around.

There were several awkward seconds of silence as they just looked into each other's eyes before Marissa finally looked away then said, "I really have a lot to do, so I should get busy putting stuff away."

Trevor wanted to tell her what he was feeling, but he wasn't sure exactly what that was. Instead he asked if she could use his help or if she was maybe tired of his company.

"I'm not tired of your company, Trevor, but I don't want you to feel like you need to stay. I had every intention of doing this all myself, so the help you've already given me was a very nice little bonus. And thank you again for that, by the way."

Her smile was back, but the way she was looking at him was different. She wasn't really making eye contact, and Trevor couldn't help but wonder if he'd somehow offended her.

"I'd love to stay and help out," he said in a voice that evidently didn't sound very convincing.

Marissa turned to him and said, "I know Phil asked you to 'look after me' or something, but you don't need to do that, Trevor. I'll be okay. Really. I know you have better things to do than hang out with me unloading boxes so, please, if you need to go then...."

"I'm not here because of Phil," he said cutting her off as she spoke but not in a rude way. He wasn't trying to be curt or terse, it was just that whatever it was he was feeling, was on the verge of boiling over, and he had to speak.

"But Phil told you where I live and you said he asked you to...."

Trevor took a step toward her and when he was again just inches from her gently put his hands on her shoulders and said, "I'm here because I want to be here, Marissa. I want to be with you. I want to...."

Her eyes were darting back and forth with his as he spoke, and it was then that Marissa found herself unable to stop herself from doing what she knew she shouldn't do, and without warning she stood on her toes and kissed him on the lips.

It was more of a quick peck than a kiss, and the peck was followed by a look of horror as her hand covered her mouth.

"Oh, my God! I can't believe I just did that. You were being so sweet, and you made me feel so good like you always do and...and I just.... Trevor, I am SO sorry!" she said as her eyes told him she felt deeply embarrassed.

"No. Don't be. You...you saved me from having to apologize for doing the same thing," he said as he reached out and gently touched her face.

"The same thing?" she asked as her heart began to race.

"I was standing here wanting to kiss you wondering what you might do if I did, but you beat me to it," he told her.

"You were?" she asked barely above a whisper.

"I was," he said just as quietly before leaning down and kissing her.

This kiss wasn't a peck. It was a very real, very soft, very long first real kiss.

When it ended, Marissa was so stunned she was speechless.

"Was it that bad?" he asked.

"Bad?" she quietly repeated before saying, "That was the most...amazing kiss of my life."

"So...not bad?" Trevor teased.

Marissa put her arms around his neck, smiled sweetly then said, "No, definitely not bad."

"I can do better," he told her very seriously.

"I'm not sure I believe you," she said just as seriously.

"I can prove it," he told her.

"Well, maybe you should try," she told him as she pulled him close, their lips coming together as both of them moved closer. Tongues touched briefly for the first time as the kiss lasted for quite some time.

"You were right," she said as it ended. "It was better."

"U...maybe we should unload some of the boxes now," Trevor suggested knowing he was on the verge of being unable to stop if they didn't stop right then and there.

"Oh, right. Yes, that sounds like a really good idea," she said as she slowly pulled away.

It was a little after three in the afternoon when they finally called it quits.

"It's not much, but it's home," Marissa said as she looked around.

"Phil is keeping the nicer things until I decide what I want to do with my half. For now, they just wouldn't fit in here in a 'swanky' place like this."

Trevor didn't comment as there wasn't anything to say. The place was small, clean, and comfortable, but that was about it. Rather than respond he changed the subject.

"May I take you dinner tonight?" he asked out of the blue.

"Are you sure?" she asked.

It wasn't that she didn't want to go, she just still wasn't sure this incredibly attractive younger man was really interested in her like that. It seemed so unlikely and yet the way he'd kissed her and the way he'd talked to her told her it might be possible.

"I'm sure," he told her as he reached out for her hands. "In fact, I've never been more sure of anything in my life."

"Well, if that's the case, I guess I could maybe clear my schedule and fit you in," she teased sweetly.

"Any time you could spare would be very much appreciated," he told her as he she smiled up at him.

"So...you're paying for the peanut butter and crackers this time?" she said continuing to playfully tease.

"Crackers and butter butter? No way. Uh-uh. No, tonight I'm treating you to the best twigs and bark money can buy," he said very authoritatively.

"Wow. You really go all out to impress a girl, huh?"

"If she's someone I want to impress," he said as they stared into each other's eyes.

"Then you should probably let me shower and change clothes, because I'm not going to impress you looking like this," she told him.

"Au contraire," Trevor said. "You look absolutely perfect me just the way you are."

To his surprise, Marissa's eyes began welling up with tears before she said, "Do you really mean that?"

He couldn't possibly know what she was feeling after all she'd been through, but it wasn't hard to imagine her self-esteem taking a huge beating as she continued to wonder if her marriage ending was somehow her fault. It wasn't, and Trevor knew that one day she'd know it, too, but for now she needed to be reassured, and he was all too happy to do just that.

"Yes. I really mean that. I think you look amazing just like this," he assured her.

She blinked several times then smiled and used his line as she said, "I can do better."

Trevor smiled then told her, "I'm not sure I believe you."

"I can prove it," she said trying not to laugh. "But you'll have to give me a couple of hours."

"I can do that," he told her.

"I'll make it worth your wait," she told him.

"Then I'll definitely be leaving and giving you some time to um...impress me," he said with a smile.

"What time do you want me to be ready by?" she asked as she put her arms around his neck again.

"Six o'clock?"

"Okay. I'll be ready by six," she said before kissing him again.

"Oh. How fancy a place is this twigs and bark joint of yours?" she asked in her normal, cheerful voice.

"Very," he told her. "Yeah, they import the twigs from the European Alps and the bark comes from somewhere in Mongolia. Yeah, it's all very high end."

Marissa hadn't felt so happy in such a long time she felt like she might tear up again but managed to keep it together.

"Okay. Fair enough," she said. "I'll wear my best plaid shirt and work boots."

"Perfect," he told her. "I'm sure you'll look amazing."

She walked him to the door, thanked him again for all the help, then said, "I'm so glad you came over today."

"Me, too," he said as he took her pretty face in his hands. "This isn't the way I would have chosen for this to happen, but I'm not sorry it did."

"I feel the same way," she said. "I know I should be sad and moping around, but I can't because I'm not sad. I'm just so...happy."

"Dittoes," he told her before kissing her again. "I'll see you soon."

"Yes, you will," she said sweetly. "Bye, Trevor."

"Bye—beautiful," he told her.

Neither knew that the other was thinking nearly the very same thing after Trevor left, but both of them were wondering what had just happened and how it had happened so fast. More importantly, both of them were very, very happy that it had.

Trevor had always noticed the way Marissa dressed, but he'd never seen her look like this before when he came back.

When he showed up right at six o'clock, she was wearing a beautiful black dress that was low-cut in front and which fell to about four inches above her knee. At 40, her legs were sexier than most women's at 20, but it was the entire look that, as he dad might say, 'knocked him for a loop'.

"You weren't kidding," he said when he saw her. Her hair was down and between its silky shine and the way her makeup looked, she was stunningly beautiful.

"About?" she said having forgotten their word play.

"You did do better. A lot better, in fact," he said as he admired her while trying not to stare.

"When it's someone I want to impress I can do pretty well for myself," she told him trying to recall his earlier words but not getting them exactly right.

They chatted about work and Marissa's new apartment on the way to the restaurant and for the first few minutes of their time together after being seated. Trevor sensed she wanted to say something and asked her what was on her mind.

"No, I don't want to spoil a wonderful time talking about my problems," she told him.

"In case you haven't figured it out, I kind of care about you," Trevor told her. "And because I do, I'd like to know as much about you as I can. This...situation...with Phil isn't a minor thing. If you need to talk about it, I'm very happy to discuss it with you or just sit and listen."

"There are just so many things running through my mind."

"Such as?" he asked letting her know he meant it.

"Well, for starters, it's taken a lot of the fun out of, well, dressing up. I used to love wearing something pretty, you know? But after seeing my husband or rather my soon-to-be ex-husband trying to look...pretty...it almost makes me not want to wear nice things. I know that sounds ridiculous, but it's how I feel."

"Nothing that's important to you sounds ridiculous, Marissa. Nothing. I can't say I understand, but it does make sense. It's like the one person you were never...what...competing with...suddenly starts making you feel like you are."

"Yes! That's exactly how I feel!" she said. "Wow, that was very insightful. Competing is the right word even if that wasn't his intention."

"You know, even a blind squirrel occasionally stumbles upon an acorn," Trevor said with a smile.

"Blind squirrel. Ha! You're one of the smartest people I know," she told him. "And...you're also very attractive."

"Is that a problem?" he asked trying to be playful.

"Well, kind of. Maybe. I don't know."

"I'm still listening," he told her.

"It's just that I really have had a kind of secret crush on you for a long time, but until recently it was just fantasy. A kind of work thing, you know? But now I'm not sure I can...keep working around you all day. I mean, if this—whatever this is—is real, how can I pretend things haven't changed?"

"Normally, I'd say that losing you at work is the last thing I'd ever want, but now...."

He reached out for her hand then said, "Not losing you in my life is even more important."

"I agree," she said. "I'm just very confused now. I'm still married...legally, anyway, you're still my boss, I'm very insecure about my age and my looks with you, and I don't know whether to run for the hills or stay and hope for the best."

"Please don't go," Trevor said even though her statement was metaphorical. "I won't beg you to keep working for me, but I would very much like you to. But more than that, please don't run from me, Marissa."

"I do very much need a job," she said with a smile. "Money was never an issue before, but I'll be back on a budget now so quitting isn't an option. I suppose I could find a job with another dentist, but then I wouldn't be able to be around you all day anymore which is the problem."

She smiled then said, "To be or not to be...around you. That is the question."

Trevor laughed then said, "Can we try taking things a day at a time?"

"I believe that's our only option," she said sweetly. "Time passes at a fixed rate so one day at a time is all we get."

"Now look who's showing off her understanding of life and the universe," he said with a smile of his own.