All Comments on 'Dad Was A Kansas Farmer Ch. 01'

I'm looking forward to the further exploits. This installment ended a bit abruptly, leaving me hoping for more. I've said it before, ot is nice reading a story about an adult woman and her father instead of the "rich 42 year old dad with his 18 year old daughter" .

Bouncing between a couple of people is one thing. Bouncing between more than a couple people, or bouncing after a short paragraph or two, just gets confusing. I'd suggest you confine yourself to two perspectives at the most, but spend time with each one. At least long enough for the events they're experiencing to last a few minutes before you switch to the other.

I was lost before I was a third of the way through the first page.

Pick a perspective and stick with it. I stopped after 5 paragraphs when I saw where this was going. I didn't even vote.

I'm not saying you're not a good writer, but the multiple perspectives sent me away......

Daughter Ella is using every conscious excuse she garner to not have sex with her fther! However, the unconscious body-desires have other ideas, it should not be long until Ella is on her knees in the barn with daddy shucking his 7" plus cob in her shucking twat. Might even get the joy of her being impregnanted!!!

I think that he was probably "zipping his fly" and not "sipping his fly"

Seems some of the commenters here are not comfortable with multiple viewpoints in a story. I've read a lot of stories with many more. Thanks, a fun read.

Warren

If you wish to tell a story without continuous flow and have a story jumping between characters then please learn how to do it properly. I enjoy stories told in such ways, but it is just a clusterfuck if not done properly. Diana Gabaldon and George R.R. Marin have great examples of two different approaches, and you might benefit from checking out both.

Good story

Write part 2