Daddy Blue Pt. 03

"You look like you could use another drink, Charlie, and I know I could. Sit tight. I'm gonna duck inside and grab us another round."

Finally, a chance to clear my head and call Dell. He was a little slow in answering and I could tell he's been napping when I rang.

"Were you asleep? How can you sleep at a time like this?" I said, teasing him. It was hardly surprising to find him sleeping since it was past one in the morning. But I also knew Dell would kill me if I didn't check in with him and let him know what was going on.

"Never mind that," Dell said, stifling a yawn and shaking himself awake. "What the heck is going on there? It's been two hours since I heard from you."

"Chill, Dell. Nothing is going on. We've been, well, mostly just talking."

"Mostly talking," harrumphed Dell. "I bet you were. So what's the verdict: Did he cough up anything new about your dad?"

"Well, uh, no. Not yet, anyway. I've been keeping it cool, you know, low-key. Taking it slow and easy."

"Jesus, Charlie, I thought you went there to find out if your dad was gay. That's not exactly a low-key kind of question. What exactly have you been doing the last two hours?"

"You know, Dell, that's not the kind of thing you can just come out and ask somebody. You have to lay the groundwork first. I wanted to gain Todd's trust before I sprang a bomb like that on him."

"Oh, bullshit. Something tells me the one getting trusting over there is you. Anyway, you didn't let him steer you out on that damn patio, did you?"

"Oh, um, well . . ."

"For God's sake, Charlie!"

"Dammit, Dell, stop shouting. It's obvious you haven't been to the Zee or you'd know that the patio is just a big open area where folk go to get away from the crowd. It's the only place here quiet enough to have a conversation. Besides, there's nothing weird going on out here."

"So you're on the patio right now. Where the hell is he?"

"Inside, getting us another round of drinks."

I could just see Dell rolling his eyes. "Of course he is. Tell me again how you don't like this guy, Charlie."

"OK, so what if I do like him a little—big deal. Look, Dell, I haven't forgotten what I came here for and I'm just as determined as ever to get the truth out of him, just like I said I would. Uh-oh, he's coming back. I've gotta go."

"Fine, Charlie, but do me a favor and keep the phone close. And whatever you do, don't you dare go home with that louse. This business is complicated enough without mixing sex into it."

"You don't have to worry about that. Look, Dell, I've known a few smooth-talking dogs like Todd and I'm not about to fall for his line of bullshit. And mark my words: I'm going to get the answers I came for, one way or another."

Dell was right, of course. In fact, it was irritating how well he could read me sometimes. I had come here tonight with the sole purpose of getting some information out of Todd, and instead I was finding it hard to focus on that because I was being more and more attracted to him. Despite all that glibness, there was something unpredictable about him, something a little wild. I always had a weakness for bad boys, and now I could see that that's exactly what Todd was. And I really hadn't anticipated that.

"Todd," I said as he handed me the beer, "there's something I've really been wanting to talk to you about."

"Sure, but first come over here and take a look at this," he said pulling me to my feet and guiding me over toward one of the dark corners of the patio. I'd already noticed that the crowd of people milling about on the patio had thickened as the hour had grown later, a fact I attributed to the fact that the bar would be closing within the hour and cruising activity had noticeably increased.

As we approached the corner I saw several couples were huddled together in the shadows, actively kissing and groping each other. Because of the sheer number of bodies moving about, I hadn't noticed just how physical these couples had become. But now as we approached them, I could plainly see that these guys had moved beyond mere groping into the early stages for full-on sexual touching.

Most of them had stripped off their shirts and several had their pants open. A few even had their cocks hanging out, and were being actively pumped and stroked by their partners. One almost completely naked young guy was on his knees, noisily slurping down his older partner's humongous dick. Now it's true I was no virgin when it came to public sex. On more than one occasion I had furtively spied on gay guys getting it on in public restrooms at A&M, and on several times Trey and I had even indulged in a little outdoor sex play of our own like the time we snuck into some bushes at the zoo near the monkey house, and did a quickie, much to the delight of the monkeys.

But nothing I had ever seen or done approached the boldness or sheer wantonness of these displays in the Zee Bar. These guys were proudly putting on full sexual shows right there in the bar for the entertainment of scores of people; in fact, the crowd around them were cheering them on. I gasped at the thought of it: Here was sex shorn of its intimacy and feeling, sex as spectator sport, pure unadulterated, exhibitionistic sex, fucking just for the hell of it.

I was both shocked and repulsed, and, yes, more than a little turned on by the display. And even before I could fully take it all in, Todd nudged me and directed my attention to the couple that had gone the furthest, the one where the boy was sucking off his daddy.

"Charlie, look who it is."

The twink was young, slender, and had his jeans pushed down around his ankles, while his older partner was tall, dark, tattooed, and . . . and then it hit me who the older guy was: Todd's friend Cliff, sans his t-shirt, his pants unbuttoned, roughly handling his eager young cohort.

"Oh, shit, Todd, it's your friend! Should he be doing that?"

"Hell, no, the damned idiot."

Todd pushed his way through the drooling onlookers and intercepted Cliff. He stepped right in-between the two of them and got in Cliff's face. Cliff was in no mood to be interrupted and attempted to shove Todd aside, but Todd stood his ground. A few heated words were exchanged—unfortunately I couldn't make out anything over the general hubbub of the crowd—and then amazingly Cliff backed off, took a deep breath and then began buttoning up his jeans. He slipped back on his t-shirt, grabbed his overheated twink and headed for the exit.

"What did you say to him?'" I asked as Todd made his way back to me.

"Well, after I called him a fucking idiot, I pointed out that there were yahoos in the crowd with cell phone cameras who would like nothing better than to burn a cop."

"Does anyone here even know he's a cop?"

"A few do, word gets out. Look, Charlie, the thing is a lot of commanders are willing to look the other way these days and give their people a little freedom to live their lives, but only as long as it doesn't get messy and come back on them. All it would take to get Cliff fired is for one asshole to snap a picture of that little foreplay and slap it on Youtube."

"Doesn't Cliff know that? What was he thinking?"

"He wasn't thinking. We all slip up now and then, Charlie, but I admit we have to keep a extra close eye on Cliff. He likes to drink and on occasion he likes to do a little weed. And when he puts those two things together he's likely to throw caution to the wind and get down and dirty with his little twinkies."

Well, here was a side of Todd I never expected to see: a solid, unselfish, standup guy looking out for a friend. It suddenly became very clear to me that my initial impression of Todd as a self-centered asshole only out for himself was about as wrong as it was possible to be. Behind that smirking mask was a pretty sensitive guy, the sort of a guy I could really go for if I let myself.

"Don't get me wrong, Charlie," he said, with a twinkle in his eye. "I'm not that different from Cliff. I like sex—hell, I like lots of sex—and I even like doing it in places where I'm not supposed to do it— like, for instance, here sometimes."

And as if to prove his point he slipped his arms around me and pulled me to him, drawing me into a deep searching kiss. He didn't have to coax me. I was kissing him just as hard as he was kissing me, my mouth enjoying the sweetness of his tongue. Nor did I flinch when his hands slid down the length of my back and found my ass.

"Aren't you afraid an idiot with a cell phone is also going to start taking pictures of you?" I asked when our lips parted.

He grinned. "Not so much. I'm not in the same boat those other guys are in. They're street cops. They've gotta pull on a uniform every day and go work a beat, follow a bunch of rules, and basically work with a lot of very uptight cops. I don't. The small undercover unit I work in is made up of guys who are basically just like me: longhaired, nonconformist weirdos who couldn't hack it driving a beat. And as for rules, we basically make them up as we go along. That's the thing about me, Charlie. I can't do what everybody else does. I gotta go where the wind blows me."

This time when we glanced in the corner, there were several couples engaged in full-on, outright sex. One guy was bent over a patio chair, his pants down around his ankles, groaning while his buddy plowed his ass. Another guy, also with is pants around his ankles, leaned again the wooden fence, his face a frozen mask of intense desire as his hungry boy toy sucked his dick. At least two other couples were starting to join in the fun, though they hadn't quite progressed to the point of total flat-out sex. Todd guided me closer to the action. I could tell by his breathing he was definitely enjoying the show.

And so was I. There was the action of course. All these couples involved in pure, unmitigated exhibitionistic sex who were clearly enjoying what they were doing, in front of a gaping audience. But there was something inside me, too, that was drawn to this. Maybe it was the boldness of it, the devil-may-care brashness of it, and the pure, unmitigated, in-your-face gall of it. But there was also the risk of it, the danger of getting caught doing something you know you shouldn't. I could feel my cock going rock-hard inside my pants just watching these egotists at play in their little sexual sandbox. It seems Todd and I had more in common than I realized.

I wasn't the only one hard. Todd moved in behind me, slipped his arms around my waist, and held me close to his body as we watched the pulsating show. He gently humped his erect rod against my ass, slowly and sensually caressing my crevice as he nuzzled my ear. The feel of his hot breath across my cheek in the cool nighttime air was electrifying. He didn't have to pull me against him. I was a willing participant in the whole thing, backing into him, rubbing against him, scratching my itchy ass on his steel-hard poker, and loving the feel of it even through our jeans. Finally, he pulled me away from the crowd and gave me an impatient kiss.

"What are we waiting for, Charlie? Let's get out of here."

We were nearly to the door before I snapped myself out of my trance and pulled my arm away from him.

"Where?" I asked.

"Where do you think: my place. We can't exactly go to yours."

"No way," I said, still trying to clear my head. "I definitely don't trust myself to be alone with you."

"What's going on, Charlie?"

"I have a confession to make. Todd, I've been using you."

He chuckled a bit, then reached out and caressed my cheek. "In case you hadn't noticed, I've been using you too. I don't exactly have a problem with being used, Charlie. Let's go somewhere where we can use each other."

"You don't understand. I didn't come here for a date, Todd. I came to get information."

A look of real disappointment traced across Todd's face as he took his hand away. "What sort of information?"

"What difference does it make? I can't go through with it now."

"Through with what? Charlie, you're not making a lot of sense."

"I'm going home."

He intercepted me and pulled me back. Though the look of disappointment was still there, his tone softened noticeably. "Hold on. Look, I'm not mad. You came all this way. You might as well ask what you came here to find out."

I took a breath and sighed. Now that the way was free and clear, I couldn't find the words. I just stood there, dumbfounded. What the hell was the matter with me? I hadn't done anything wrong. I hadn't lied or cheated or led anyone on, at least not like Dad had. Why the hell did was this so hard?

"Cat got your tongue, Charlie? OK, so why don't I make it easier for you by asking you a question? This wouldn't by any chance have anything to do with Matt—would it?"

"Yes."

He snorted ironically. "Fucking idiot. You found that damned taped copy—didn't you?"

I nodded yes.

"Damn," he said. "I warned him. I told him put that thing somewhere safe. Something like that in the wrong hands could be like setting off an incendiary device."

"That's a pretty good description of the effect it had on me. Honestly, it had never occurred to me my dad would . . . could . . . you know, make it with another guy."

"So I suppose you want all the gory details, is that it, Charlie? Is that why you came? You wanna know when and where and how . . . it all happened."

Just hearing Todd say those things knowing he meant my dad gave me goose bumps. Damned right I wanted to know all that stuff. Again I nodded.

"Sorry, kid, you're outta luck," shrugged Todd with a smile. "I worked on your dad a long time trying to get him to let me film him. He finally gave in one condition only: that when it came to yakking about what we did, I keep my big mouth shut."

"I just want to know if he's gay. Can't you at least give me that much?"

He laughed. "Not if I want to keep all my teeth. Just kidding. Look, Charlie, I'm genuinely sorry, but I can't even give you that. Your dad is one sharp honcho. Somehow he saw this coming and made me promise that no matter who asked, I'd have to keep my trap shut."

"I don't believe it," I said, exasperated. "This took the last ounce of courage I had, to come here and talk to you. What am I supposed to do now?"

"You're not gonna give up, are ya? In my experience there's always another way to skin a cat."

"Well, disgusting as that sounds, I don't know what else I can do. I suppose you're going to be like my friend Dell and tell me my only choice is to confront him."

"Well, no, not exactly. Look, I get how intimidating Matt can be when he wants to be. It happens to be one of the things I find really sexy about him, that he can be both tough and tender at the same time. Why don't you take me up on my offer and come over to my place? We'll have a drink and hash it out."

"You never give up, do you?"

Again Todd laughed. "Probably not, but that's really not why I offered. Let's just say Matt made me promise not to discuss our relationship with anybody, but he never made me promise not to show the other tape we did."

I think my jaw must have hit the floor. "There's another tape?"

"Not only that but it's a damned sight better one than the first. Look, I can't talk about what we did, but nothing's stopping me from showing you what we did . . . if you're interested."

"Are you fucking kidding me? Let's go."

I followed Todd to one of those hip, new, glassy apartment high rises that have been popping up all around West Houston like weeds in recent years. His cool, spare, modern apartment was tastefully furnished and had a nice, lived-in feel about it, something I did not entirely expect. I could actually see myself getting comfortable in a place like this, though I was determined not to. I was especially drawn to the fact that instead of paintings or prints on his walls, Todd had a number of large framed black-and-white photographs, of people and landscapes. It occurred to me that these photos looked like originals.

"Did you take these?" I inquired, examining a large photo of a group of native women milling around an open market in what looked like Mexico or Cuba or someplace like that.

"Yep," he grinned. "When I was in Mexico a few years ago, I knocked around a lot of small villages on the Baja peninsula mainly just looking to get a feel for how the people lived. I caught those images with first morning light at a market in Cabo San Lucas."

"So do you do that a lot—photograph things?"

"When I can find the time. Usually I take a couple of trips a year, and go wherever the wind blows me, just me and my camera. You know, I bet you'd enjoy doing something like that. Hey, come take a look in the bedroom. I've got some really great Caribbean shots in there."

"Um . . . no thanks. I'm good right here," I said, suddenly aware of just how close he was standing to me as I gazed at the photos.

"Look, Charlie, I wish you'd relax. I know the reason you came over here was to see that tape. I promise I won't do anything unless you want me to."

"So what's the thing with you and pictures?" I said turning to him.

"Can I assume we're not talking about that print on the wall anymore?"

"Yeah, you've got that right. I'm talking about those movies you made with my dad. And I'm betting those aren't the only ones you've made of you having sex."

He smiled coyly. "I guess you'd win that bet, Charlie. What can I say: I like taking pictures, lots of different kinds of pictures of lots of different kinds of things, like for instance of me having sex. I've filmed others having sex and I've filmed myself having sex. To me it's no big deal. I happen to enjoy it. Does it bother you?"

"I didn't say that. I'm . . . not sure."

He reached out and stroked my arm. "Well, I always say don't knock it until you try it."

"Oh my God," I said, glancing around the room, "are you taping me now?"

"For Pete's sake, Charlie, give me a little credit—will ya? Like I said, I'm not gonna do anything you don't want me to. I don't even have a camera set up in this room. The only set-up I've got for taping is in the bedroom and I only turn that on when my guest says it's OK."

"So Dad actually did agree to it?"

"Of course he did. Hell, I would never try anything like that on a guy like Matt without getting his permission. Let me explain something, Charlie: Fucking on camera, when it's done right, is a king-sized turn-on, a lot like doing it in a public place. With the camcorder running, it almost feels like you're being watched. It can

be very exciting. Believe it or not, when I explain that to my guests, most of them actually ask for me to turn the camera on. Take you, for instance. With that face and that beautiful brown body, you'd look incredibly hot on film."

What was it about this guy that made me want to believe everything he said? No, I wasn't seriously considering letting him film me, but just the look in his eyes when he said it was enough to make me blush a little. Todd disappeared into his kitchen to get us something to drink while I pretended to look at another of his framed photos, but what I was really imagining was me in one of his videos. My pulse quickened at the thought of being on tape with him, naked, exposed, him stripping me of all my inhibitions.

I was a little surprised when Todd returned with a glass of wine for me. I had never drunk wine, but decided not to make an issue of it when I saw he had prepared a mixed drink for himself.

He sat the drinks down on the coffee table and approached me. I jumped a little when he rested a hand on my shoulder.

"You know, Charlie, I don't give a damn what your motives were for meeting me at the bar tonight. I still think we have a real connection. And whether you like me or not, I know I still like you."

And with that Todd slipped his arm around me and kissed me. And though I knew I should have, I made no effort to stop him. And when he pulled me closer and kissed deeper, I didn't stop that either. But finally after a while, I gently but firmly extricated myself from his embrace.