by Jack597
Very well written. Eros at its best. Loved every word.
This could be a good story, except you used first person. I'm not the subject of the story. I don't want to be part of the story. For one thing, I'm a guy, so if you start talking about how beautiful I am, that doesn't get me going. You should rewrite the story and take me out of it.
I liked the story & was starting to get into it and then.............. done?????????
Title says Ch. 01-02 and it was barely a prologue
I think this is more disappointment then criticism