by tinatart
I didn't like the wham bamb approach. Could have been more drawn out.
I disagree with the comment that it needed to be drawn out. If the characters need developement, then fine, but in this situation that's really unnecessary...we know who is who right off the bat and there's no need to stuff an otherwise great story with a lot of filler. this isn't shakepeare. I only wish I was one of the guys in the van!
Nice story. Sure it could've been longer, but the story was as wham-bam as the sex was. Perfect parallel there. Nicely done and I hope to see some more of the same.
I also disagree with those who feel this story should be more drawn out. This is a fine example of good, stimulating pornography. isn't that what most fans of Literotica are looking for?