Dark Arrow Ch. 04

Her mouth opened to try and explain what was going through her head to him. To tell him she wanted him to stay, but that staying was a risk to them both. No matter how she tried though no sound would come out. Finally she gave up the attempt and settled for shaking her head, as her eyes fell to the floor. Her eyes snapped back up as he chuckled. Damn those emerald eyes, she was lost the instant her gaze locked with his.

"Ah Erillia," he whispered, "your face is so expressive. I can almost guess exactly what went through your mind just now. We're both used to being loners. Connections are a weakness we can't afford, but as I told you before we're also human. You can't run away from your need for interaction forever, and I'd hazard a guess that right now you're tired of running." She couldn't tear her eyes away, but she felt herself nod slightly. He smiled lopsidedly at her.

"Don't worry little one," he husked. "A bet is a bet. You're stuck with me for the next thirty days." She swallowed hard, and gathered the parts of her bow to begin assembling it. Dropping her gaze to her work for a minute she let the silence stretch out as she worked and gathered her thoughts.

"If you're going to stick around that long then you do need to hear this." She looked up, and saw him nod his acceptance before he moved to lean against the wall. She took a deep breath and forged ahead. "You already know I was responsible for the southridge murders. You know the basics of what happened, but... clearly it left a deeper mark on me than even I realized." She paused and considered how best to start.

"I don't know if telling you this will help, but you're the first to ever know anything about what happened to me and that's the first flashback I've ever had. Maybe if you know the full story it will quit haunting me," she paused and shrugged. "At the very least you'll be prepared and might avoid bleeding all over my floor next time." He laughed, but brought a hand up to gingerly touch his nose. The bleeding had stopped, but there was crusted blood still in evidence. She winced a little bit. Knowing that it had been Ren all along made her feel slightly guilty for the pleasure she'd gotten out of delivering that kick when she thought he was Leo.

"I was just turning seventeen, and had been hunting with my dad for seven years when I first met Leo." She shook her head as she thought back. "Life was tough, but it was still worth calling a life. My mother was never really interested in me once she realized I wasn't into the idea of dressing up constantly and trying to attract the attention of someone just a little higher up the social ladder than us. Her idea for my life goals had me fighting to marry someone who was almost respectable. Maybe even get all the way out of the outskirts and then settle in and have as many kids as possible."

She shook her head, and concentrated on refitting one of the pins into an arm of her bow. "My dad was different," she muttered. "He wanted me to be able to hunt, fish, and survive without needing a man. When I first took an interest in his hunting I was barely ten, but he was ecstatic. I don't know who taught him, but he was a master of the outdoors. He taught me to track. He taught me how to make a bow, arrows, and string. I learned to judge distance and windage on the fly. My mother couldn't understand it. She harped on me constantly about finding a good guy, or being interested in someone. Then finally I found someone to be interested in, when I met Leo."

He saw the tremor in her hands as she fumbled a part, but she paused for a moment and steeled herself once more. "Leo was the one all the girls gossiped about," she said finally. "He was tall and lean and his dark hair and soft features made him look like he fell off the pages of one of those romance stories. He could sweet talk a bird right out of the air too. I knew enough to know it was all silver tongued flattery, but it was still hard to resist him." She shook her head and snorted. "Not that many of the girls bothered resisting him, mind you."

She glanced up and sat frozen, staring out the door for a second. "Shortly after I turned eighteen my father fell ill," she whispered brokenly. "No one ever figured out what he had, but in the span of a week he went from hunting with me to being unable to sit up in bed. We tried everything we could, even sending him to Terra General despite the cost." She shook her head, and he saw the tears forming in the corners of her eyes.

"We might as well have saved our money," her voice cracked, and she heaved a sigh. "He had just been moved to the intensive wing of the hospital when he went into respiratory arrest. They worked on him for three hours, but they never got him back." She fell silent for a second, and he watched a shudder pass through her. She stood and examined the bow as she snapped the last piece into place. Finally she looked up and he braced himself for what was coming when he saw the anger burning in her eyes.

"Leo practically fell over himself to help my mother after my father died," she hissed through clenched teeth. "Of course at the time I was too consumed by my own pain at losing dad to see what was happening, and mom was never good at seeing when someone was playing her. By the time I'd regained a semblance of normality Leo was a regular part of our lives. Mom was so infatuated with him it was almost like he was her child and I was the outsider." She fell silent for a second, and her gaze dropped to where her hand had a death grip on her bow.

Ren could tell it took a conscious effort for her to relax her hand, though she showed no other outward indications of the emotional turmoil raging insider her. "If there was ever one thing that Leo Cortofski was good at, it was twisting words and feelings," she snarled finally. "I knew there was something off about the timing of his interest in my family, but he could play the part of the gentlemen like no one I've ever seen. He was good looking, charismatic, and knew all the right buttons to push. Mom had the wedding planned before I even realized I was dating him. He fed her fantasies perfectly, and to this day I think she'd rather have him alive than me."

"Then again, I can hardly blame mom for what happened seeing as he managed to play me too," she said, narrowing her eyes. "He came on strong with mom, but when he approached me he was all shyness and 'let's take it slow'. Compared to the other boys who'd shown an interest in me he seemed like a major step up. He talked about my hunting with me, and seemed to be genuinely interested in what I wanted out of life."

She shook her head and picked up the bowstring, fiddling with it as she marshaled her thoughts. "About the time I started to suspect he had a hidden agenda he asked me to marry him. Only he wanted to live together first while he got the money together to move us out of the outskirts. It sounded perfect. I'd hunt and provide food for us, and extra to sell while he stockpiled money for us. In a few months we'd have enough to get a small place in one the better districts. It all made so much sense."

"Only thing was, six months later we still didn't have enough money. I was out hunting nearly all week every week, and I always brought home far more game than we needed." She shrugged her shoulders and gazed at Ren for a second. The hopelessness in that look tore at him, but he knew she had to finish this. If he tried to comfort her now she wouldn't thank him later.

"Meat always sells well, you know that," she said with a dismissive wave of her hand. "I knew something was wrong because of that. I brought home probably thirty pounds of meat to sell a week. Even with living expenses we should have had more than enough money for a small place in a few months. As time passed on I started to ask questions, and at first he deflected them all. Then when deflecting wasn't going to work anymore he said he'd been splitting the money between saving for the move, and saving for our wedding too. He told me he finally had enough for the wedding and that pretty soon he'd have enough for the move too. I should have seen the signs, but when he told me he couldn't wait anymore I stuffed down my nerves and we were married."

It wasn't until he noticed the cramp that Ren realized he had his teeth clenched. He knew part of what came next, but he had a feeling that it was worse than he imagined. "I told you what happened," she whispered, "but you need... you need the details." A sob broke through her voice, and he watched as she stood ridged, her breathing so fast she was almost hyperventilating. "He... After his friends had supposedly passed out he joined me in the bedroom. We'd made out before and done some fondling, but this time was different."

She shuddered and looked up at him. The sorrow in her eyes was unspeakable, but all he could do was nod for her to continue. "He had me suck him for the first time that night. Then he put me on the bed and talked me into letting him tie me up. I thought it would be kinky, and at first it kind of was. He... did what you were doing this morning, but then he just sat up and slammed himself into me. I screamed and tried to get away, but he just laughed at me." Tears streamed down her face as she spoke.

Finally Ren couldn't contain himself anymore. He crossed the room in a second as Erillia broke down sobbing, and wrapped her in his arms. The bow fell from her hands as she clung to his neck, but he deftly caught it and sat it on the bed before wrapping his arm around her again. "I felt myself tear around him," She whispered brokenly, "And he just laughed. The worst though was when he pulled out. I could see the blood on him, and then he called his friends in." She shuddered and buried her face in Ren's chest, inhaling his scent.

"Do you know what he said about me?" she asked softly, pushing back from his chest. Ren shook his head softly as he gazed into her icy blue eyes. She gave a mirthless chuckle. "He said, 'she's all yours boys, I got what I wanted.' I think he meant it too. He sat back in a chair and watched his partners take turns with me. They were a sick bunch Ren," she murmured. "One of them almost bit my nipples off, another beat me until my nose was bleeding and my eyes were practically swollen shut. Then this one fat fuck choked me until I passed out while they took turns fucking me. He stretched it out by letting me catch my breath and then choking me again. I was sure I was going to die, and I actually wanted to. I kept hoping that he'd hold it just a little longer so that I'd fall asleep and the nightmare would be over. Then he finally did, only just like with you I woke up when I was sure it was all over for me. They were still fucking me when I came to."

He squeezed her to him, and she let his warmth and scent sink into her and tried to banish the ghosts of the past flitting through her head. "Leo only touched me once more that night. When they got tired of me bleeding all over them and started talking about taking my ass instead. He laughed and helped them turn me over and tie me again, but said that he was going to assert his rights as husband and take first crack at me." She paused and shook her head. "I suppose I should be grateful," she said bitterly. "I've heard everyone talking about how painful taking a cock up their ass is the first time. Lucky me, I got to pass out and missed the entire event."

She fell silent, and he pressed a kiss to her forehead. She sighed and leaned against him.

"Did he look like me?" Ren whispered softly to her. She started back and stared at him.

"God no! You and he have nothing in common," she paused and glanced at him again. "Well other than that you both have black hair."

"Wait, we both have black hair?" he interrupted. She frowned, but nodded. "Jesus little one," he breathed. "So let me get this straight. The last thing the man who tied you up for his friends to gangbang did before raping you was to eat you out? And you're surprised when your first instinct, when you woke to find a head of black hair between your legs, was to flashback to the most traumatic event in your life? Erillia, if I had known what he'd done, I never would have done that to wake you up. I promised you that I'd show you the softer side of sex, but had I known I would have chosen one of a thousand other ways of waking you up. Bloody hell little one I'm just glad you didn't kill me before you came to your sense." She shivered at that thought.

"If I'd been able to get my hands free I would have," she said softly.

"So why didn't you?" She turned to stare at him. She had a retort on the tip of her tongue, but his smile stopped her in her tracks. "Tell me little one," he drawled, "when you were in a full blown panic and were ready to kill me, what made you stop?" She frowned as she thought for a second, before meeting his gaze.

"You did," She murmured. "You told me to close my eyes... Then you talked me down. I... I don't know how you were able to get through to me, but you did." She searched his eyes for a moment, but frowned when she didn't find the answer she was seeking. "How?" He quirked an eyebrow at her question, but didn't answer right away. "Don't give me that damn look," she growled. "How... no why... why can you reach me like that. Why is it that even when I didn't know it was you, even when I was doing my best to kill you, a simple order from you was enough to stop me in my tracks?"

"Well simply put, I couldn't." He held up a hand to stop her outburst. "Just listen to me ok little one?" She glared at him, but nodded her acceptance. "Good girl," he reached a hand out and stroked her cheek before continuing, "now then. As for how I was able to reach you there's a simple answer and a complicated answer. The simple answer is that you put your trust in me, though I'm still trying to grasp exactly how I earned it." She stared at him, and he sighed. "I suppose you want the long answer then?"

"You suppose correctly," she said, crossing her arms over her chest. He chuckled at the defiant stance, but resisted the urge to stroke her cheek again.

"Very well, but you have to understand something Erillia. What you are asking... these questions get into your psyche. They deal with the very core of who you are as a person, and as such I can't give you exact answers. I can make guesses and I can point you in the right direction, but I can't just answer your questions fully." He paused and waited for her to respond, but she simply nodded for him to continue. Her thoughts were in too much of a jumble to form a more coherent response, and she didn't really trust her voice right now. So she settled for just the nod and then licked her dry lips and waited for him to continue.

"Right," he said taking a deep breath, "so what can I say about why I was able to get you to listen to me. First of all it's because you're a submissive, but I've already told you that. What you might not know is that submission isn't about being weak or about one person lording it over another. True submission boils down to trust, and somehow you recognize something in me that you're willing to trust. On top of that for whatever reason you're wired to find pleasure in letting someone else pull the strings, at least in the bedroom though this morning would say it might extend a bit further than that."

He smiled at her, "with me so far?"

"I think so," her voice sounded unsure to her ears, but he just nodded.

"Right, so then there's the more pertinent question of why you responded at all when you thought it was Leo in the room with you. To be honest with you Erillia I can't answer that, although I'd hazard a guess that your subconscious recognized it was me even if most of you was convinced it was someone else." He eyed her and his mouth twitched a bit. "Before you freak out and think you're about to become a puppet to anyone and everyone you should know that nothing about you has changed. You aren't weak willed, and you won't be a plaything for anyone who tells you to do something."

"How can you know that? How can you be so sure I won't just cave to the next person to tell me to do something?" She shook her head. "I... how can I trust myself now when..." He reached out and brushed her cheek again, trailing his finger down across her neck and across her collar bone. She was forced to break off as the move drew a gasp from her.

"Little one you have more fire and strength in you than anyone I've ever met," he said softly. "I told you to close your eyes for a reason. If I'd tried to tell you to stop what you were doing or to lay still I would be dead right now. You called me Leo, so I knew you weren't seeing the here and now. I hoped that if you'd listen to me and close your eyes you might be able to break out of that panic attack. It worked, how I don't really know, but it worked. For some reason little one you trust me, and you've allowed me to see you with your guards down. Still, even I can't just order you around, little one. You choose to give me control, and you are perfectly capable of taking it back, even from me."

She nodded, and turned away from him to pace for a second. What he said made sense. It shouldn't have, and the fact that it did almost terrified her. She'd known this man for less than a fortnight and already she had somehow decided to trust him. No, if she was honest, she'd started trusting him almost from the time she woke up in his safe house. How could she have come to trust him so fast!

Then again... he'd proved himself worthy of that trust over and over in that time frame as well. If she was going to be fair she had threatened him, made him a fugitive, and left him on the top of a cliff with a busted knee and nothing but the promise of sex for comfort. If anyone shouldn't be trusted in this dynamic it would be her, and yet he seemed to have no problems trusting her. In the end she wasn't even sure it mattered if she understood it or even tried to understand it. For whatever reason she trusted him so deeply it was beyond conscious choice.

She stopped pacing and turned to look at Ren. He stood next to the bed where she'd left him watching her. The sun streaming in from the window back lit him, and almost gave the appearance that he had a halo. She smiled at the image that evoked for her. He wasn't the type of man she'd have said she would go for if asked, but then again until a few days ago she'd have sworn she wouldn't go for a guy at all. He wasn't exceptionally tall, at a glance she'd guess him to be around six feet, but his broad chest still made him an imposing image. Moreover, his eyes had a piercing quality to them that, combined with his chiseled features, conveyed the image of someone who had seen more than he should have at his age.

As she gazed at him she came to the conclusion that the why didn't really matter. She trusted Ren to her core, and that was all there was to it. She could waste this time second guessing how they got here and why she felt the way she did, or she could enjoy the ride while she had the chance. She smiled, and walked over to him.

"I'm sorry," She whispered as she wrapped herself around him. "The bet was that I was yours to do with as you pleased. I didn't mean for this to happen, because I always honor my bets."

"Erillia you have nothing to..." He began, but it was her turn to press a finger to his lips to silence him.

"Hush Ren," she husked into his ear. "I believe I rather rudely interrupted your breakfast this morning." She saw his eyes go wide, and smirked. "Now that's just plain poor hospitality. So what can I possibly offer you to make amends for my poor manners?" He pushed her back with both hands, and held her shoulders as he gazed into her eyes.

"Little one...are you sure?" For the first time since she'd met him she could hear uncertainty in his voice.