All Comments on 'Dark Castle Ch. 01'

For me this story ends here...1*

Great story a big old 5 for ya!! Fuck you annony. We all hope this end it for ou like you said. I'll hang you the rope, hang yourself

Finally i read a story and not some piece of shit. Keep going!!!!

Dear IMO any reason why you didn't like the story to the rest anonymous users thanks for giving 5 stars and be ready for an erotic and emotional part 2.

5* for the time being for catching my interest

It's an honour sir to receive a 5 star from my fav author.

OMG what an ass. Its an honour to receive 5 stars from my favorite etc... The story sucked.

Old plot used before & I couldn't get past the first few paragraphs and the poor english.

And while I don't like to play Grammar Police" this was difficult to read. Which made it

less than entertaining as it stumbled along. As some previous commentator mentioned, this plot has been done before (haven't they all) but your story adds nothing original or clever to the mix. Just wasn't erotic or interesting to read.

Dear anonymous and girdo12,

Yes English is not my first language but please note that the story was reviwed and approved by moderators. I am sorry if you could not understand the content. I humbly disagree that the plot is not original, the story has just started. You may be thinking that the story will go in one particular or I would say an obvious direction but this may not be true. I also agree that this part was less erotic but more emotional and practical. I do hope you guys will read part 2 and comment if the plot is original or not.

....writing or submitting another story.

The idea is not new, the dialog terrible, there are several serious logical breeches, and it wasn't very interesting. I won't even get into grammar, spelling, English sentence structure, as it is obvious at this point that you are writing outside your native experience.

That takes courage and I applaud yours.

But sadly, I cannot express nearly as warm and glowing a response to your submission. It was impossible to finish.

I hope this will not dissuade you from trying again, but I hope with all sincere expression, that you will ask for and obtain excellent editorial help and work it to death, polish it to a high sheen and make it work as a whole, like a fine Swiss watch, before you attempt another submission.

Even repeated stories, when well told, are welcome.

Even though the literotica moderators passed the story, it is still poorly written. I admire anyone trying to learn the English Language by writing a story in their second language, but it is difficult to read and the plot is over-used too much.

The use of an editor, or at least a spelling and grammar check in your word processor, would be a good first step at learning English, rather than assuming that the literotica review will correct your errors.

I love your storyline. Looking forward to more. Let me know when you post future additions. snowleopard11@yahoo.com

Thanks for the encouraging note, I am almost finished with 2nd chapter and will post the same soon. There will be only 3 chapters to this story.

this is a real Jagoff. Very difficult to read and follow.

There are people willing to help make this good

If I just can't find anything else to occupy my time I may try reading the whole thing, but after the first paragraph I found it unpleasant to continue. Maybe you come from a culture where divorce is difficult or condemned, but there is no reason to subject a child to such a dysfunctional marriage. And to repeatedly refer to "the kid", like referring to the cat, or the dog, is obnoxious and conveys a contempt for children and parenting. Reading about unhappy people in an unhappy marriage is depressing, especially when children are in the middle of it.

But I am curious, so might read the rest. I will let you know what I think, and truly hope your later and future efforts are well received. I will withhold my rating since I didn't even give your compete story a chance. But I have to tell you, the LW community's overall ratings are usually very accurate in my experience. Chapter 3 is at 1.88 as I write this, so it does not look good.

I suspect writing in your native language for your native culture would be much better received. You might want to concentrate your efforts there.

Thank You for your efforts.

I have fantasized about this very thing ... my wife being seduced by a wealthy and powerful man who wants her badly.