All Comments on 'Dark Genie Ch. 01'

OK - good start - hooked me in but now it NEEDS another chapter!

I'm working on making chapters longer since I had no idea that three pages of hard work turned out to be one on the site

I see that this is your first submission and I have the distinct impression that English is not your first language. It would definitely be helpful to get an editor to help you for future chapters. Keep working at it. Many of these type of stories seem to fade away. Good luck on keeping this one going!

Starting with the viewpoint character being called "Di" commonly used as a diminutive for Diane, a female name.

Then talking about buying makeup.

Then being asked if a crossdresser or gay?

Seriously what woman ever sends a heterosexual male child to buy her makeup?

i was a bit confused....first i thought Di was a girl found out shes a he but i still don't know what anyone looks like and its bologna not baloney but i total get it thats the urban way. just don't know if ima stick around

Sorry for the confusion but Di is a male. His mom was supposed to name him Dillon but she fell asleep when she said "Di-".

His name is pronounced "Dee"

Dee is still more commonly used as a nickname for a female, so even if that had been written out it would have caused confusion.

What would have helped the readers is some descriptions of the people in the story, so we could picture them in our minds.

Baloney is the correct usage for a polite way to call BS.

its in there

If you're going to write a genie story I hope you finish it or at the least tell people if you stop or discontinue the series. There have been many other genie stories that have never been finished and I hope this doesn't become one of them. Great start by the way and I hope to see more in the future!

MP here. Just wanted to say I am putting this series on hold. There's no specific reason, I just lost the feeling with this one. Might get back to it soon.

Dude, your editing is atrocious. that is assuming you do any editing at all.