All Comments on 'Darkest Rum'

Do not strive for effect and do not write in the second person. Otherwise you're not just sans joy, you're sans readers.

Just two lovers? Agree with some people: she should be dying from AIDS...a painful and long death.

Not erotic, just low life shit.

This story includes letters written to a married woman, Rita, from her two male lovers, Peter and Sebastian. That is extra-marital sex and that is what this site is about. Is that gay? Also letters to someone are usually written in second person aren't they?

I think she is a single woman who has lovers who she tells she is married. And then collect their letters for a book.

.....at best, it's a glimpse, a sketch, a peep into a naughty wife's multiple sex partners.

To call it lurid or sexy would be a compliment it does not earn. It is graphically sexual and leaves one with the impression that this woman has thrown herself into a multi-varied (and apparently indiscriminate) sex life.

I for one, hope the character has a zest for life.....because it won't be a long one.....acting like that.

Before you write more. Definite potential, but not quite ready for prime time. Many good examples on literotica of how to do this better, with more information, more character development, and better elucidation of motivations and circumstances: who is doing whom, and why? And where, how, for how long, etc. If that's not your "thing" in story writing then I guess I'm not your reader target. You missed me with this one.

If this story had started...

Rita woke up to the 'ding' of incoming email. She opened the new mail in her laptop and read ...

"My fingers smell of you." et cetera!

... then it would have been much easier to understand (from the outset) that the references were NOT of the second person type, except to Rita!

Assuming that Peter WAS the reason Sebastion wasn't with Rita for the last 12 or more hours (there IS an unlikely but plausible alternative explanation), it would clear the story up a LOT (at least for LDS - a bear of little brain!)

3* because it has to be studied instead of enjoyed!

PS. Rita probably IS an adventurous Sweetie, but there is NO report of ANY effect on her marital relationship.

Cheating whore story with scores.much too high.

Cheating whore story with scores.much too high.

A cheating wife, a passionate stranger, a naive GAY writer