All Comments on 'Daughters and Fathers Ch. 02'
by leBonhomme
- 10 Comments
Anonymousover 10 years agoStill a mess, dense, impenetrable, tiring to read, and strangely un-arousing. I just want to know how it's possible to take a storyline that should almost write itself and turn it into this; you need to stop overthinking the plot development and over-writing the characters and have some fun; this story is too stodgy and dull to be fairly used as a yardstick by new readers of your work. You've done better, much better, in the past, maybe you should re-visit your body of work more often and take some tips from yourself. I'm not running your work down, I just think you could have done this better, more accessibly, and had a little less to say while telling more of a story; sometimes less really IS more...
Anonymousover 10 years agoTo me this story was very arousing and somewhat interesting. One of my favorite things about this story is the characters were actual people, not just sex robots. I look forward to the rest of the story.
Anonymousover 10 years agoIs this a family of pigs? They seem to be snorting every other sentence. I'm guessing english isn't your first language and you really don't know what a snort is. Please get a dictionary and look up the definition. Its not really a turn on if all the characters are snorting all the time.
Anonymousover 10 years agoBeen following the comments on the last two stories. LMAO @ the snorting comments.
Overkill isn't a good thing though.
leBonhommeover 10 years agoAuthorA private comment suggested that the people who complain should try themselves to write. A very experienced and successful writer here has complained about my style, but I have seen many "hearts" for favorite story or favorite writer since this series started. Thanks.
Anonymousover 10 years agoI loved the story but hated the snorting.
Give the snorting a boot
darrellprestonover 10 years agoAgain this chapter was a joy to read. A little faster pace so I was satisfied (all around). sounds just like my family, Great job. Keep it up. dp
Anonymousover 10 years agoThis sucks. What's with all the snorting? Are they a bunch of pigs snorting every damd paragraph? Lets face it, You cannot write.
