Dawn Redeemed

The last time they'd been together, he'd done so out of sheer weakness, and she out of a desire to use her body as a means to win him back. Resigned to the fact that he'd never truly be hers, she couldn't bring herself to go to him. The pillow gripped in her arms made a poor substitute for companionship and warmth. She'd better get used to it now. In a short while, her pillow was all she was going to have to occupy her bed.

\The morbid and self-defeating thoughts that circled in her mind like buzzards circling around a rotting carcass were interrupted by a knock on the door. She unwound her limbs from the covers and went to answer it. "Hanning?"

Hanning pushed his way in. Seeing her in a simple, cotton nightgown was enough to send his hormones into overdrive. She didn't have to let him in. But, he was glad she did. Her skin was smooth beneath his fingers as he traced them over the thin ridge of her collar bones. One more night, what could it hurt? This could be their last night together. The time for choices was coming. Needing a simpler easier time, he wrapped his fingers around the nape of her neck and guided her lips to his. "I can't offer you any promises beyond this night."

Ruby nodded in understanding. She searched for words, but they failed her and left her tongue tied. She stood absolutely still. His fingers traced the straps of her gown and gently slid them over her shoulders. The gown fell to her feet in a wad of cotton. She had nothing on underneath. Laid bare and exposed, she closed her eyes as his fingers traced a path around the vermilion border of her lips. Her body burned with a slow, consuming fire as he gently slid her hair free of its ponytail and fanned it across her cheeks.

Hanning ran his fingers through her silky strands and gently brushed them away from her face. Tonight, he would not allow her to hide behind anything. He wanted to see her without any barriers between them. They'd far surpassed the point where there was any need for them. He wanted to see her, only her, as she truly was. Not the façade she used to hide behind. He knew the mask all too well. Tonight, he wanted to know the woman behind it. She was soft and pliant in his arms. He hoisted her up and wrapped her soft, sleek thighs around his waist. Their sexes touched and teased each other. Her heat seared him to the bone and deep inside of the ashes that was all that was left of them, he wanted to burn.

Ruby shuddered in Hanning's arms. The hardness of him slicked against her dampened core. His eyes were intense in their heat, focused on nothing, not the past, not the future, nothing but her. A gasp left her throat as she took a risk and slid down onto his shaft. The brief moment of pain that quickly exploded into rich, sensuous, pleasure was nothing compared to the pain of losing him and the excitement of being held, even if it was for one bittersweet last time. The muscles at the base of his neck and along his shoulders tensed with the strain of guiding her along the hard length of him. Fingers dug and gripped at her soft flesh, bruising her. Tomorrow she'd feel every deep indentation. Tonight, there was only pleasure and joyous sensation.

Quickly, they fell into a rhythm, gasping, gripping, tasting, shuddering and moaning in the shelter of mutual pleasure and satisfaction. Tomorrow would come and all the problems, battles, and heartache, along with it. Tonight wasn't about pain or pleasure as much as it was about two people worn weary in desperate need of a respite from themselves and the world around them. The world would keep on spinning as it always had and always would. But, for the next few hours, they held the brass ring in their hands. One last free ride before the music ended.

Afterwards, Hanning battled with himself. He shouldn't have given in to temptation. Keeping his distance would have been the smart thing to do. But, with her fully sated and lax in his arms, regret was an emotion he wouldn't allow himself to indulge. A part of him was all to satisfied with the knowledge that for the time being she was still his. He pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead. "Do you want me to go?"

The fantasy in Ruby's mind came to a screeching halt. For the moment she'd been contented to pretend that she'd won him back. His question brought reality, like a train wreck, to her doorstep. Want him to go? Never. By this point he had to know how she felt. "Do you want to go?"

Hanning sighed, "No." He was torn. Never before had such a hard decision been thrust in his hands. He still loved her. He always would. How could he willingly let her go? What was he supposed to move on to when everything he'd ever wanted lay right here beside him? He had no pride left to coddle. He was done nursing hurt feelings and being a hapless witness to emotions volleying back and forth in a never ending battle. There were no winners in this game, only losers. One night. It was only one night. In the blinding light of dawn, he'd see things more clearly. The night drown the world in shadows. And he was utterly and completely lost within them.

Ruby eased out a breath as Hanning stretched out on the bed and wrapped her in his arms. Her cheek nestled in the crook of his arm and her body molded against his. At least for tonight, she was his. As consolation prizes and parting gifts went, it wasn't much. But, at this point, she'd take whatever she could get. In the game of life there were only winners and losers. One bad roll and all her chips were spent. She knew all too well, which one she was, a loser. What she wouldn't give for a chance to bet differently and roll those ill fated dice one last time.

Chapter 127

"I can't believe I'm getting married," the words still sounded strange on Erica's tongue. The idea of it rattled in her head as her frazzled mind tried to wrap its fingers around it. Torr sat at the kitchen table beside her watching her stare at the ring, with an amused glint in his eye. "When do you want to do it?"

"Now works for me." Torr said with a shrug, "My schedule is open."

"Cut it out, Torr. I'm serious. I can't just run off an marry you."

"Why not?"

"Because, it doesn't work that way. I have people to invite, a dress to buy, flowers to order, and a cake to pick out."

Torr leaned over and stilled Erica's lips with his mouth. "You're getting too worked up in the details. Just go with the flow. I'm happy with any kind of wedding you desire, just as long as you're there, it doesn't matter to me. It's not the wedding I'm interested in, only the bride."

Erica snickered, "I want a perfect start to our lives together."

"And I don't want you to get so caught up in all the planning that you forget why we're getting married. If you want the flowers and the dress and the cake, get them. Go as big and fancy as you want. But, don't use our wedding as an excuse to put off our marriage. I'm ready, I've been ready, I want to start a life with you, right now."

"Torr, I am going to marry you and spend my life with you. One bitter fact, hangs over my head like a noose that will in thirty or forty years tighten around my neck. What happens when I'm gone? I can't be like you. I can marry you and love you for all my days, but they're in such short supply. Whatever time we have, it isn't going to be enough."

"Erica, I know loving you is to condemn my heart to a long lifetime of loneliness once you're gone. I won't begrudge one single day that we spend together. You're right, an eternity wouldn't be long enough. But, I wouldn't trade one second by your side for the fear of having to let you go someday. It's kind of a double edged sword isn't it? You worry about what's going to happen to me when you're gone. And I have to live with the fact that I will go on long after you're gone. We live. We love. And we savor every single moment of our lives. When the candle is snuffed out. We still love. Forever. I won't look at the passing of time as an enemy to be battled. Time can not be defeated. I will look on the passing of each day as a gift, because it's a day we've spent together."

"We can make this work? You really believe that?"

"I know we can."

Erica stared down at the ring glittering on her finger, lost in thought. "Torr, why is there room for more diamonds on the band?"

"Just in case."

"In case of what?"

"You want to add more stars. I thought maybe someday, you might want to try for another baby."

A smile curved Erica's lips. "You've checked into it?"

"I have. Modern science is a wonderful thing. If we want to, when we're ready, I can have my vasectomy reversed. Even if another baby never comes. We'll have lots of fun trying."

"Spoken like a true guy."

"No, spoken like a man in love. Trust me, no guy wants a scalpel anywhere near those parts."

Erica chuckled and ruffled Torr's wavy hair with her fingers. "We should probably get married before we consider altering your guy parts. I want them good and broken in before I have to put them out of commission."

"Now that's what I'm talking about." Torr caught Erica's fingers in his hand and brought them to his lips. "Spend the night tonight."

"I can't, Fallon is already settled in."

"Marry me in the morning?"

"You never give up do you?" Erica teased. "I'll think about a wedding date and let you know."

"You know my thoughts on the date."

"You've made them abundantly clear." Erica leaned forward in her chair to steal a kiss. She intended to sneak a little peck on the lips. The tongue tango she danced with Torr was quickly interrupted by a clearing of a throat.

"Get a room," Alexander grumbled as he sat his empty plate in the sink and shuffled out of the kitchen. Just because he'd given Torr and Erica his blessing didn't mean they had the right to make out like a couple of love sick teenagers. People ate in that kitchen.

Erica rested her forehead against Torr's and snorted. An embarrassed blush at getting caught spread across her cheeks. "Can you help me move some boxes tomorrow?"

"Woman, if it will get you to use that key, I'll do it tonight."

Erica was awake for a long while after Torr left. There were too many thoughts rambling in her brain to consider sleep. Idly she shuffled boxes from one corner of her bedroom to the other. Luckily, she'd never bothered to unpack most of her things. So, there was blessedly little to pack. Moving wasn't what chased sleep away tonight. Thoughts about the future, did. She loved Torr. She was going to move in with Torr. She was going to marry Torr and maybe make a few babies with him. Someday. The problem was that her somedays were a lot more limited than his.

She had questions and she had an inside line on the answers. Her fingers trembled as she punched the numbers and held the phone to her ear. Alex might be able to offer her some insight and answer the questions that plagued her mind.

"I know. I missed dinner," Alex said into the phone.

"Alex, this isn't about dinner. Have you got time to talk?"

Alex snorted, "Honey, I've got nothing but. I'll be there in a jiffy."

Erica jumped when a light tap sounded at her window. She'd only hung up the phone and sat it on the nightstand when Alex wiggled through the crack in the window. "Geesh, with your response time, you'd put 911 out of business."

"Sorry," Alex shrugged and closed the window behind her. "What's up?" She whistled low when her cousin held out her left hand. "That's nice. So, when's the big day?"

"I don't know yet," Erica said as she sank on the bed. "We're moving in together for a while first."

"Ok." Alex sat on the bed beside her cousin and gave her an analytical stare. "What's the hold up?"

"I need to know something. I mean you've told me the facts and I understand them as well as I can. But, what is it really like to be you? I hate the fact that I'm human and Torr's not. I can change that, with your help."

"Erica, no you can't. I won't do it. You can't even think about such a thing. You don't understand what it means to be like me. You think you are limited by your humanity, that thirty, forty, fifty years isn't going to be enough time. You don't get it. Time isn't measured by quantity, but by how its spent. You and Torr can have a happy life together without you or him having to change a thing.

"You love coffee and donuts. I LOVED coffee and donuts. You like to sit on the porch and watch the sunrise. I USED to love to sit on the porch and watch the sunrise. You see a deer grazing in the pasture and think how beautiful. I see a deer in the pasture and I can't see its beauty, the only thing I can think about is its blood. One of these days Alexandria Grey is going to have to disappear, forever. Everyone will think she is dead and buried. You never have to do that. I made a choice and I am forced to live a lie as a consequence. You can be Erica Grey for your whole life. Don't you understand what its like for me to sit back and watch the world and everyone in it change while I remain exactly the same? No. You don't.

"If you had some better reason. Maybe. I'd talk to you about this in earnest. You ask me what its like to be me. Why you don't want to be like me. I'll give you one good reason. Even now I can hear the blood rushing through your body. I know you're my cousin and I love you. Do you know what? That fact is the only thing that keeps me from sinking a fang into you and draining you dry. Its like being best friends with an oversized caramel latte and not being able to take a sip. Do you want to see people in that way? Do you want to be tempted every second of every day? I can assure you that you do not. Want to be like me? You have no idea. It is I who am cursed, not you."

"You can't blame me for wanting to be with Torr for as long as possible. I just thought...oh never mind. You're right, it was a stupid idea."

"Life is for the living and you should never ever think about giving it up for the sake of gaining a few more years. I'm sorry Erica, I really am." Alex rose from the bed and paced the narrow path that wound through the boxes. "If you're not too mad at me. I'd like to help."

"I'm not mad. I guess I never stopped to consider all the things you gave up to become a vampire. You had your reasons to do it. And they're a far sight better than mine."

"Do you know what the kicker is? I love Chance and I'm grateful that we'll have so many lifetimes to spend together. I only wish, that we could have had a baby. For all time, it will be just us, without a little boy or girl to share our love."

"I hadn't considered that."

"Erica, nothing is without cost."

"Starting tomorrow morning I am permanently off bacon and I'm hitting the gym. I want to make my life with him as long as possible. That reminds me, although it still grosses me out. You mentioned something about a link? I can't imagine why anyone would want to kidnap me of all people. But, do you still want to do it?"

Alex nodded, "I do."

"Will it hurt?" Erica asked with great hesitation.

"I'll try not to."

Erica grasped her wrist to her chest and cradled it with her opposite hand. "Are there any side effects?"

"Sometimes. If two people are already very into each other, a blood exchange can make those feelings stronger, almost irresistible. It can be a very sexual experience...for some."

Erica grimaced, "Eeeewwww. I don't think we have to worry about that."

"Nope, I don't think so. We're cousins and BFF's but I have no desire to be that close to you. You might borrow some of my abilities for a while."

"Like what?"

"For a few minutes, you'll be able to see the world as I see it. Erica, it can be a very frightening experience and very...uncomfortable. You might be stronger, run faster...there's no way to know for sure how my blood will effect you."

"Can you stop once you've started?"

"A negative isn't really my type."

Erica extended her wrist and squeezed her eyes shut. "Do it." She pulled her wrist back and glared at her cousin. "Don't think that this means you can pop by anytime you get the munchies."

"I don't. Erica you have to trust me. Just relax and let me in." Alex slid Erica's hand from around her wrist and held it gently with her fingers. She focused on Erica's brain patterns, chasing down random synapses till she locked on the right ones. "There isn't any pain. It's just you and me, let the world fall away."

Erica's trembling fingers stilled and her eyes slid shut. Alex whispered softly, stroking the warm skin with a fingertip. Finally Erica's head drooped and she dozed lightly. Alex extended her fangs and gently planted them against Erica's skin. A few drops was all she needed. Warm blood rushed over her tongue and she swallowed it down. Her body jerked as the link took hold. Gently, she withdrew her fangs and sealed the wound.

"Erica, wake up," Alex whispered. "I need you to drink something for me." Alex bit down on her wrist and released a trickle of blood. With her finger she pried Erica's mouth open and pressed her wrist to Erica's lips. "Just a little bit..." Alex winced as Erica drew on the wound. Her aunt had tried her best to keep Erica out of the supernatural world. She'd taken her daughter across the country and restricted her visits to summers and occasional phone calls. The one thing her aunt had never stopped to consider was that the supernatural world was in Erica's blood. She wasn't a vampire or a werewolf, but Erica was something more than an ordinary human. By sharing blood, Alex had inducted Erica into the heart of their world.

Erica screamed as the cold surged through her limbs. "It hurts!" Moaning in agony she thrashed on the bed.

Alex did her best to soothe her cousin, "It'll only last a few seconds. I promise."

Erica shivered despite the warm comforter over her shoulders. The cold and the noise was unbearable. Color and light assaulted her tender eyes. Every scent sent a roll of nausea through her gut. She gripped Alex's hand and shuddered in agony. "How much longer."

"Not long. Focus on my thoughts Erica. Still yourself and listen. If you try you can hear them. You are one of us now. Hear our voice. Erica, we'll always be with you. We'll always, always be here for you." Alex ran her fingers through Erica's hair, soothing her with gentle words.

Erica stilled and focused on Alex's voice. The pain was loosening its grip on her body Alex's hands were soothing in her hair. Her mind was calm and relaxed. Whispers, like wind tossed leaves, echoed in her mind. She felt a sensation of wholeness and oneness. She heard a collective voice, many voices condensed in to one. Not one voice could be picked out from the whole. Somehow, the invasion of awareness of voices and combined consciousnesses was calming and reassuring. "Alex?"

Alex helped pull Erica into a sit. "You ok?"

"Alex, I heard the wolves."

"Yeah, they're with us too. We are all family, Erica. Family is more than blood and genetics. It's in the heart."

"Is Fallon going to have to do this too?" Erica asked rubbing her fingers over the healed bite wound.

"No, she's already here," Alex answered, pointing to her heart. "I'm going to let you get some sleep."

"I thought you said I'd have super strength and speed," Erica said in dismay. "Tomorrow is my first day in the gym with John Mark, I'd like to impress him with something more than my ability to sweat."

"I said you MIGHT." Alex shook her head in pity. John Mark was as ruthless as a trainer could be. Those that sought his instruction in the gym were in for a lesson, in pain. "That you're brave enough to show up will impress him. He won't take it easy on you just because you're human. In fact, he might be harder on you because you are."

"Great," Erica moaned.

Alex chuckled, "I'll see you later Cuz, get some rest."

"Sure."

Chapter 128

Ruby felt along the bed with her hand. The covers were rumpled and wadded into a cold heap. Hanning was already up and moving for the day. Last night had not been a mistake. She had to believe that and hold to the dying embers of hope while she still could. He'd made love to her tenderly and sweetly. He stayed afterwards. When he could have shook her off like a worn out coat, and held her in his arms. Were those the acts of someone who was done? There was still time. Like a phoenix from the ashes, their marriage could be reborn.