Dear Diary

I just nodded as I let my hand slip down to caress him. As long as he was growing more comfortable with me touching him sexually, I was happy. I felt him tense up twenty minutes later when our parents called down to tell us they were going to bed, but he relaxed again when we heard the door close.

He gasped a moment later when I slipped my hand inside his shorts to touch him directly. "Tilly, what are you doing?"

"Mom and dad went to bed, so you know they won't be back to check on us and it feels nicer this way. It's so hot and hard, yet soft to the touch. Do you not like it when I touch you like this?"

"No, it feels nice actually," he sighed. "That doesn't make it a good idea though. I don't want either of us ending up frustrated."

"Just for a little while longer," I asked. "You can pretend I am one of your girlfriends if it helps. I know I'm not pretty like they are, but I like touching you and I love you more than they do."

"I think you're beautiful Matilda, and the boys we go to school with are fools for not seeing it," he whispered before kissing the top of my head. "I won't make you stop, but don't play with me for too long. I love you too, but I don't want to take advantage of you."

He was just trying to protect me again, but I wanted to scream at him and beg him to take advantage of me. I knew he was horny enough to agree right now, but he would feel guilty about it tomorrow and I didn't want that. What I did want was for him to cum in my hands, and I had enough experience playing with his cock to be able to do it.

I spent the next half hour listening to his aroused moans as I played with him. He was too big around for me to wrap my hand around and stroke in this position, but I let my fingers trail up and down the front of his shaft. Occasionally I would slip far enough down to caress his balls, but my focus was the softer tube at the front and the ridge around the base of the head.

"Tilly baby, I need you to stop." His voice was strained and he was panting with arousal by this point. I knew he was about to climax, and he was worried about it. "I'm not sure I can hold back much longer."

"You don't have to big brother," I whispered. "Is my touch arousing you that much?"

"You have no idea baby girl, but it would be taking advantage of you if I let you finish me off."

"No you wouldn't," I said as I continued to caress him. "I have never felt desired or wanted before. I have the smallest breasts in the school and the boys all ignore me. Knowing I have you so excited that you need to cum actually makes me feel good about myself for once. Please cum for me and let me feel sexy for a few minutes."

Okay, maybe I was pouring it on a bit thick, but I did tell you my brother was dense sometimes. His only answer was a groan and I felt his cock pulse as the first stream of cum shot out into my palm. I kept rubbing him as he coated my hand and arm in his cum before grabbing the hand towel and tucking it between us.

As I cleaned him up, I smiled back at him. "Thank you for cumming for me. I enjoyed it as much as you did. It was nice, knowing I had you so excited that you would climax for me when you have beautiful busty girls throwing themselves at you all the time."

"You are just as beautiful as they are little sis, and bra size isn't everything," he said as he held me. "Maybe when we get to college you will find a man who can appreciate your beauty the way I do, but it was still wrong of me to take advantage of you like that. Despite knowing you wanted to do it, you couldn't have gotten much out of it."

"I enjoyed it more than you can imagine big brother, and I hope you will allow me to do it again sometime. You could help me take care of myself if you wouldn't be grossed out by it, and you wouldn't have to do anything."

"What do you mean?'

I could hear his confusion and blushed a bit. "If I tell you a secret, will you promise not to be upset with me?"

I could feel him nod and continued. "Most nights, you fall asleep before me; I have kind of been taking advantage of you." No, I wasn't going to tell him all of it, but a bit would help open him up for now. "When you are sleeping, I can feel your cock pressed up against my ass and your arm around me. It makes me feel safe and loved, so I usually play with my clit until I cum before falling asleep with you. If you don't mind, I would like you to just hold me while I take care of myself."

"I would love to sissy, but only if you go wash your hands first," he said. "I just came all over your hand and I don't want to risk getting you pregnant."

I just nodded as I got up to wash my hands, not wanting to explain that secret to him quite yet. When I got back, he and repositioned slightly and I laid my head on his arm as I snuggled back into him. With both of his arms wrapped around me, I pulled the hem of my shirt up and started stroking my clit.

"I wish you would have told me you were frustrated before Tilly," my brother murmured as he kissed the top of my head. "You have never had much luck with the boys around here, and I would have been willing to hold you like this before now. Why do you think I have always found time for us to cuddle like this and watch movies together? I love you and wanted you to feel loved. We can do this anytime you like, as long as our parents are asleep. I would never be grossed out by helping you feel pleasure."

His words triggered my climax as much as my fingers on my clit did. Knowing he was willing to keep playing like this made my plans seem much more likely to succeed, but I was still afraid to ask for more quite yet. It was a big step from holding me while I played with myself to fucking me. When my climax ended, I snuggled deeper into his embrace and for the first time in years, we fell asleep together.

The next week seemed to drag on forever, but there was some good news. My brother got a letter from Texas A&M offering him a full athletic scholarship. He already had offers from WSU and Boise state, but Texas A&M was a better school. I knew he was holding out to see if he got the offer from USC, but I had scholarship offers and acceptance letters from all four schools already. As long as we confirmed before the New Year, we would be set.

His girlfriend dumped him on Thursday, the whole you never pay enough attention to me thing again I think. How they expected him to have time between football practice and studies was beyond me, but he would never let his grades slip for a girlfriend. I kind of felt bad for him, but it made more time for me on Friday after the game.

We won the game, and my brother was picked as MVP again. Five sacks and pushing their offense to negative running yards will do that. He forced a dozen more turnovers because the opposing quarterback had to throw early and our defenders were able to intercept the ball. The other team was the lowest ranked in our division, but it was still a horrid beating for anyone to take.

We were home by a quarter after nine, and my parents went to bed as my brother and I got ready for a movie. My brother was still worked up from the game, and we sat next to each other as the opening from Zombieland started. I just hoped he would go along with my next suggestion. Reaching over, I laid my hand on his cock and smiled.

"Bro, I know you are too wound up to lay back and cuddle right now and you don't have a girlfriend to work off your extra energy with. I know a good climax would help relax you, and you did say we could play again. Would you be upset if I wanted you to take your shorts off and let me play with you so I can watch you cum this time? Mom and dad are already in bed, so it's completely safe."

He just nodded and slid his shorts down for me. I curled up against his side and listened to his heartbeat as I trailed my fingers over his cock. I loved hearing his quiet moans, but I wanted to go a bit further. "Don't freak out on me, but I am going to get down on my knees between your legs so I can use both hands. Your cock is too big for my hand to fit around easily and I want to stroke you."

He moaned again as he nodded, so I shifted positions and smiled up at him as I started to stroke his cock. "Close your eyes and pretend I'm one of your busty girlfriends. I know my hands won't be as good as their pussies, but I hope you enjoy it still."

"I would never disrespect any woman like that," he moaned, "You least of all baby girl. I love you and want our times together to be special for you. If you want to be doing this, I want you to know I am only thinking of you when you are."

I smiled up as I continued to stroke his cock. My fingers couldn't close around it, but I could have done it sitting next to him. I wanted to be in my knees in front of him so I could look up at his face and see the pleasure I was bringing him. I trailed one hand down to his balls, caressing them as I stroked around the head of his cock. As small as my hands were, it was a challenge to stroke him one handed so I mostly rubbed over the head where he was more sensitive.

Bringing my hand back up, I started rubbing up and down the front of his shaft while caressing the head. It went on for several minutes as his moans grew deeper and I could feel his hips thrusting up as he got closer. I was watching his face the entire time and his eyes kept flickering between my hands on his cock and my face. The love and desire he had was clear, but I could also see a hint of concern over what we were doing,

He was moaning and quietly calling my name as I switched back to a two handed stroking. I was covering every inch of his cock as fast as I could, wanting him to cum for me again. The sights, sounds and feeling of his cock in my hands had me so aroused I could feel my juices dripping down my thighs. When he finally groaned and started to climax, I could have gotten myself off with a single touch.

The first shot went almost two feet up before it fell back and I moaned at the sight of it. This was the first time I had ever really seen him cum, and I was fascinated by the power of his climax. Four heavy blasts arched up into the air, growing a bit weaker with each one until the last few pulses dribbled out and over my hands.

With him still watching me, I brought my hand up to my lips and licked a bit of his cum off my fingers before grabbing the towel. "I was curious what it tasted like, and I kind of like it. I can use the towel to finish cleaning you up, but I would like to keep tasting you."

I was a bit disappointed when he took the towel and shook his head. "Go wash your hands Tilly, and then we can give you some satisfaction."

I nodded as I got up and headed to the bathroom, but I licked the rest of his cum of my fingers as soon as I entered the bathroom and then washed my hands. I was curious to see how far my brother would go to help me this time and if he would put his shorts back on before I came out. He surprised me a bit when I came back out to find him in the same position we had used last night, still naked.

As I lay down with him, his arms wrapped around me, surrounding me in his love. His bottom arm crossed the top of my chest with his hand on my arm and the other hand settled into its familiar place on my belly. I knew he could smell my arousal, but I laid there stroking along my outer lips for a few minutes. His cock started to get hard again as I writhed against him, panting and moaning as if I just couldn't get off. A single touch of my clit would have finished me, but I wanted him more involved.

"Big brother, I am having a hard time finishing, could you help a bit? My breasts aren't very big, but they are very sensitive. Would you be willing to caress them a little? I would do it myself, but my arm is kind of pinned under me."

I smiled as I felt his hand slowly creep up my stomach and his fingers started caressing the bottom of my breast. As soon as his fingers stroked across my nipple I touched my clit and started cumming for him. My breasts really were that sensitive, and I had gotten myself off just playing with my nipples before, but I usually needed a firmer touch. I just wanted him to think he was responsible for my climax.

"Yes Bruce, just like that." He continued to caress my breast as I rode out my climax then snuggled back into him. It was too early for either of us to fall asleep yet, so we finally started watching the movie. He continued to gently caress my breast, so I reached between us to hold his cock until we finally drifted off to sleep.

Saturday night started off promising. I heard my door open but there was a delay before my brother announced his presence. His eyes were averted when I turned around after he asked if I was ready, but I knew he had been looking at my pussy, probably for the first time ever.

We settled on watching Supernatural again. Neither of us was interested in watching something new right now and we love the show, plus we would not be upset if we missed something. Mom and dad were still up, so I just caressed him through his shorts until they yelled out that they were going to bed.

As soon as I heard the door close, I reached inside his shorts and smiled back over my shoulder at him. "Can I stroke you off like I did last night? I loved being between your legs while I played with your cock."

"I know why I enjoyed it, but why do you enjoy doing it so much," he asked in a confused voice. "It can't be very exciting for you to just play with me like that."

"You know the boys at school just ignore me so I never really got to feel sexy before. Seeing the desire in your eyes when I play with you like that, it makes me feel like more than just some flat chested bump on the wall. I know I could probably find a guy at school who would let me do that for him, but he would just want to get in my panties so he could brag about it. I know you love me and will respect me after you have your pleasure."

"I understand why you feel that way, but it still feels very one sided to me. My girlfriends always get to climax several times, but you only ever get the one after you play with me."

This was one of the things I had been waiting for. His girlfriend's always talked about how much they climaxed with him, and I knew eventually it would start to bug him that I only got one. "You could help me cum before we start and again after you cum if it helps. I really enjoy watching you, but I don't want you to feel bad about it."

His hand slid up to caress my breast as he kissed the top of my head. "Cum for me baby sister, then you can play with me." I was still holding his cock, but my other hand slid between my legs. Being aroused enough when I was around him was never a problem, and my pussy was already dripping. I rubbed his cock and my clit in little circles, only needing a few minutes to bring myself to a very satisfying climax. Having him caress my breasts helped, but I hoped I could get him under my shirt next time. Maybe my plan for his hand job would help.

I kept my hand between my thighs as we shifted positions and he slid his shorts off. His cock was standing tall and proud as I took it in my hand and smiled up at him. "I think a little lubrication will help," I said as I brought up the hand that was on my pussy. It was coated with my juices, and I rubbed them over the head of his cock.

His lusty look and deep throaty moan told me he loved what I had done and I started to rub around the head with one hand as the other teased along his shaft. I dipped my hand between my thighs every minute or so, collecting my juices and smearing them all over his cock. His cock throbbed with excitement every time I did and he was moaning constantly.

After only fifteen minutes he warned me he was close and I shifted to a full two handed stroke. I hoped it wouldn't freak him out too much, but I had to take the next step. As his cock started to swell, announcing the start of his climax, I latched my lips over the tip and took the first shot across my tongue. I opened my mouth wider, managing to fit the entire head in as I swallowed very drop of cum he produced. I stroked him until he finished, then let him slip out of my mouth as I looked up at him sheepishly.

"I should have asked first, but I didn't think you would let me. Your cum tasted so nice yesterday that I wanted to taste it again, and it's less messy this way. Are you upset with me?"

"Only a little, because it's not fair to you. It was so much more exciting when you took me in your mouth, but you have to settle with just your fingers again."

He was making it almost too easy for me. "I wouldn't mind if you wanted to use your mouth on me, but I guess my pussy is too gross. Is that why you always turn your head when you come in to get me, because you can see my pussy and its gross looking?"

I saw him blush and shake his head. "I turn my head because it's not right for me to look at your private parts without permission, but from the quick glimpses I have seen; you have a very pretty pussy."

"Would you like to look at me," I asked as I reached down and grabbed the hem of my nightshirt. "I don't mind you looking, but I don't want to disgust you with my body. I look a twelve-year-old girl still. Do you know how embarrassing it is having to buy my clothes in the kids section because it's the only place I can find anything small enough, or have someone ask where my parents are when I go shopping alone?"

I hadn't meant to say that, but it was a very real frustration for me. Mom had taken me school shopping at the beginning of the school year, waiting outside the shops as I looked for clothing. I had tried several shops catering to teenage girls, but everything was too big and the sales people kept asking me if I was lost. My face was red by the time we ended up in Sears, digging through the preteen section to find something that didn't look too childish for an eighteen year old to wear.

My eyes were closed, trying to hold back the frustrated tears that were threatening to fall when I felt my brother's hands on mine and his lips on my forehead. "I imagine every inch of you is beautiful Tilly, and I would be honored if you want to show me. You could never disgust me, because I love you too much to see anything but perfection in you."

I smiled at I stood up and pealed my shift off. My eyes were still closed, afraid to see his response when I felt a gentle touch on my stomach. Looking down, I saw the wonder in his eyes as he took in my body. "Do you really think I'm pretty?"

"I think you're gorgeous, little sis. I know you're small, but if you could find clothes that showed off your body instead of wearing the shapeless outfits you pick to hide it, you would definitely have the boys looking at you. Your body is perfect; you just spent too long in the wash and shrank. I blame the long baths you are so fond of."

I giggled as I reached over and slapped him upside the head. The difference in our heights made it easy with me standing in front of him. He was the only person who could tease me about my size and not have me feeling bad about it, but I couldn't believe he would do it with us both naked.

"I think I am going to have to insist on you licking my pussy now to make up for being so mean to me. I do appreciate the backhanded compliment though," I said as I sat down on the edge of the couch and spread my legs a bit. "Would you be willing to kiss me first? The only boy who ever tried was Jimmy Johnson when we were in the eighth grade, and you remember how bad that was. I want you to make me feel like a woman who you love."

"That won't be hard sis, because I do love you," he replied right before his lips touched mine. It was soft and sweet, just how I imagined my first kiss would be, but I wanted more. My lips parted and my tongue tentatively touched his lips. As he moved down in front of me, his mouth opened and our kiss grew deeper. Our kiss was still gentle, but very passionate and I felt his cock rising again to poke me in the ass.