by Sir_Nathan
i think it was this chapter - said her piece not said her peace. also in first or second chapter - there is a reference to Adrian that is incorrect (I'll find it lol). Also did i miss where he gets the envelope? all of a sudden he had it and i couldn't find where it first appeared.
a compulsive editor here
but this is a fascinating read - an excellently composed story. erotic and great character development.
Your writing is excellent and your pieces have opened my eyes. You also seem to care a great deal about your writing, so I hope you won't mind if I mention, in the vein of constructive criticism, that the dialogue in this installment is a little confusing when three people are talking and it doesn't mention after a quote who said it. Also, the ideas seemed a little broken in few places in particular, that I no longer remember the location of. The content though, is spectacular. I will more than likely make an account on this site just to message you about your stories, and to offer my services as an editor, as I noticed a few things here and there in this series and in culture shock
Keep up the good work!
another congratualations Sir, You never cease to amaze me :D
sincerely distance
Adding suspense is a common element in such writings, but adding mystery can often amplify suspense in a highly unorthodox, but extra effective manner. Excellently versed. I am greatly enjoying the series thus far.
love it look forward to reading the next chapter puts the fone off the hook lol
Sir Nathan...please hurry with the next chapter...it keeps getting better and better...and You know how i look forward to Your stories...
Sir Nathan, you have outdone yourself again. :)
Your talent for writing is a wonderful gift and I thank you for sharing it with us.
I look forward to the next installment of this amazing story. The party should prove to be very interesting. I can't wait.
i don't know how You keep doing it, but You have done it yet again Sir Nathan. You have left me wanting to beg for more *weg*. Wonderful work Sir....i enjoyed it from the first letter.....to the ending punctuation. Thank You for sharing Your talent with Uus!!!!
Sir_Nathan,
again you have outdone yourself....i was in a constant state of arrousal as i read this installment. i am looking forward to the next and really don't want it to end...
your skill at painting a picture with your words leaves me breathless....
thank you,
tasteofhoney
Sir Nathan,
I can't tell you how much I've been enjoying this story. I look for a new chapter every day and I'm disappointed when I don't see one. I was thrilled to see the latest installment this morning, and am really looking forward to what happens on Roger and Josehphine's date, not to mention the party.